Just Like Scarlett

Just Like Scarlett

Stephanie sat on her Greek resort balcony chair, dabbing tears off of her cheeks and eyes. It was important not to ruin her mascara. Folding the tissue, she gave her nose a mighty honk, then tossed the wadded mess toward the wastebasket. It landed next to its crumpled partners on the floor.


"Honey," Josh said, "you can't spend our whole vacation hiding here."


"Yes, I can."


"Stupid paparazzi," he said.


They sat in silence until she blew her nose again.


"Look, why don't you put on a big hat and some sunglasses? Cover your face with a scarf, and let's hurry down to the beach."


She frowned.


"Please."


Sighing, she dabbed an eye, then nodded.


Hastening toward the beach, she considered her year long resolution from last January. Her mantra was, 'New Year. New Me.' The words kept her on her diet and going to the gym. They kept her jogging and swimming. Eventually, they led her to a plastic surgeon and dentist to fix a few issues. Her last effort led her to cut and dye her hair. Josh, her husband, kept her encourage to keep working toward her goal. He, too, expressed amazement at the results. His wife looked exactly like Scarlett Johansson.


No one in Laramie, Wyoming bothered her. Well, she got one wolf whistle, which was embarrassing. She'd never gotten one before, so it kind of tickled her, too.


But then they came to Corfu, Greece, for their dream vacation.


A young woman who didn't know English gestured for an autograph and then frowned at what Stephanie had written. Despite this, the woman had her three other girlfriends take a group selfie with Stephanie. Then another couple noticed the regard being paid to her and also asked for a selfie. Stephanie was uncomfortable with the attention, but accommodating.


Josh chuckled. "They know genuine beauty when they see it."


She gave him a playful shove, and they continued their walk through the tourist shops.


The next morning, a crowd gathered at their hotel entrance. As she and Josh exited, people started shouting, snapping pictures, and impeding their progress. Frightened by this, Josh and Stephanie quickly returned to the hotel lobby, and their adoring fans followed them inside.


Was this what her life was going to be like from now on? She regretted her New Year's makeover resolution. It was easy to understand why some celebrities behaved so rudely with their fans.


After an hour in their room, they tried going out again. They hoped the hotel staff had cleared the throng away.


Peeking out the stairway door, Josh said, "I don't see anyone. Come on."


They thought they had made it, but while walking onto the beach, a man with a large camera jogged up to them. "Photo? Scarlett? I take picture?"


Josh wrapped his arm around Stephanie and steered her toward the surf. "No, thank you."

The photographer made little explosions of sand with his feet as he raced to get in front of them. Whirling to face them, clicking noises rattled like a machine gun as he took an enormous number of photos.


Josh grabbed the camera. "I said NO!" And with a huge pitch, he threw the camera high and far towards the Mediterranean Sea.


The paparazzi watched his camera smash onto the beach. His shocked expression turned to rage. Like a bull, he charged Josh. Stephanie had watched Josh's boxing matches in college, so she expected it when Josh smashed the fellow's nose and knock him unconscious onto his back.


Their day at the beach ruined, they rushed back to their resort. It wasn't long before the Corfu police knocked on their hotel door and escorted them to the police station. Police officers proficient in Greek and English resolved the misunderstanding about Stephanie's identity. The photographer demanded that Josh pay for a new camera. Josh refused. The police threatened the photographer with a big fine for harassing tourists. He apologized, and Stephanie handed him some Euros, which the police said should be enough to cover repairs.


After their dream vacation in Corfu was ruined, they decided to leave Greece. The slopes at Copper Creek, Colorado, had amazing powder for downhill skiing, they were told when Stephanie and Josh's flight landed in Denver. Once they arrived there, Stephanie found it great for making snowballs, too. Once made, the urge to hurl it overwhelmed her. It was handy, so she pegged the back of Josh's head. He spun and thrust snow down the back of her coat collar. She screamed, and they both laughed as they continued to throw snow. Having restarted their vacation in Copper Creek, they realized January in the Rocky Mountains could be a dream come true too.

At dinner in the lodge on their last day of vacation, Stephanie considered what resolution she should make this year. She no longer wanted to look just like Scarlett. Mostly like Scarlett, but not exactly like her. When the server removed the main course plate, she asked, "May I see the dessert menu, please?"

WC: 840