You Don't Get To Win

         PART 1 - TRAPPED
         "Stay down, you fat lazy cheating ugly bitch! Take your punishment. You deserve every bit of it," snarled the hulking figure in the hallway. Leering down at Mary's cowering form, beads of sweat ran down his face. Tim continued his tirade as he whipped Mary's back with his belt. "Look at the damn mess you made," SMACK "you did it again," SMACK "why the hell do you have to piss me off so much. You know I can't stand to look at you after work before I've had a beer." SMACK "Why the hell do you think I stop at the bar most nights!" SMACK "Get UP! Get off your lazy worthless ass and clean this up RIGHT NOW LARDASS!" He began kicking her as his words died down, breathless from exertion.
         Mary struggled to get up, trying to keep her balance while trying to avoid Tim's steel-toe-boot-clad feet, which were now swinging with full force, every blow revving his anger back up. She tried not to cry out when foot met rib... On her feet now, Mary scuttled to the kitchen, his last kick barely missing her back and connecting with the wall. "Goddammit, now look at what you made me do, there's a dent in the wall, the damn drywall is caved in. Great, let's just wreck the place you ungrateful bitch!"
         He continued to scream at her while Mary's trembling hands began to clean up the shattered beer bottle that had narrowly missed her head and exploded on the pantry door. Tears running down her face, mixing with the blood on her cheek from a few shards of the beer bottle, Mary told herself "It will all be over soon. He's almost done with me, he'll go change his clothes and go to the bar. Soon. Just keep quiet. Just keep calm. It's almost over."
         Mary breathed a silent sigh of relief when he stopped yelling... but something like dread settled deep in the pit of her stomach. She could feel Tim's eyes on her, making her believe he wasn't through with her yet. Silently she continued cleaning up the now sticky beer, sharp with glass. Knowing if she looked up at him that it would only inflame him again, she kept her eyes downcast while she mopped.
         Mary heard his footsteps walk away. She was dully surprised to hear the front door swing open and then click shut. Warily raising her head, she looked around the kitchen to find herself alone. She sank to her knees. The only sound in the house was her quiet sobs.
         "Pull yourself together. You don't know when he'll be back, better get to cleaning," she thought. Knowing that any dirty dish left in the sink or smudge on the counter would set Tim off when he returned, she cleaned up the rest of the kitchen. The methodic movements lulled her into a trance-like state as the knot in her stomach slowly began to loosen.
         After putting the cleaning supplies back in their proper places under the sink, Mary needed a shower. As she walked in silence up the steps, she realized that neither her breathing nor her footfalls made any noise at all.
         She really was invisible.
         Mary began to wonder if Tim's words weren't true - maybe she really was worthless, nobody else did love her, he was the only one that could put up with her... as these thoughts tumbled over each other in her head, she unraveled the braid in her hair and took stock of the reflection in the bathroom mirror. Tearstained cheeks. Bloody trails down her face and neck. Swollen eyes from crying. She slowly raised her arms to take off her shirt, careful not to move too quickly. Turning to see her back, she saw bruises forming along the bottom of her ribcage. She was lucky this time, no broken bones.
         Bastard, she thought as she climbed into the hot shower. Maybe he'll get so drunk he has a car accident, she thought. The hope that sprung up from that thought was quickly slammed into oblivion with the next. "You really are ungrateful and hateful to wish for the death of someone else. How dare you."
         Good old Catholic guilt got Mary every time.
         The tears came quickly, this time from shame. She knew better than to be anywhere downstairs when Tim came home. Mary didn't know why the sight of her infuriated him so much... There was a time when they couldn't get enough of each other. As she carefully washed the blood and beer and sweat from her body, Mary remembered when they first started dating. Tim would come to pick her up from her parents' house, using the car horn to call her out. She'd go running out the door as quick as she could, yelling good night to her parents over her shoulder.
         Always the same - they would drive to his townhouse, which Tim shared with two roommates, go straight to his room, and make love until just before her curfew. The rules her parents enforced enraged him the first time she was late. They grounded her from seeing him for 2 weeks, and gave her a shorter curfew after that. Mary had been afraid that would drive him away, but instead it brought them closer together.
         Eventually, she had moved out of her parents' home and into the townhouse. As Mary toweled off, she remembered when their first roommate moved out. After Tim accused her of cheating on him with his roommate, Mary had cried for 2 days straight, begging him to believe her that it wasn't true. The only thing that would pacify him was the exit of the roommate, so off he went.
         Mary went into the bedroom, put on her nightgown, and climbed into bed. As she let her body relax, she remembered what it had been like, making love, being in love with Tim. The last thought before she fell asleep was wondering when he had stopped being in love with her...
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         Something woke her. Mary lay in the dark, waiting to realize what it was. The dark. She had left the hallway light on for Tim. He was home.
         As these thoughts swam quickly through the haze of sleep, she felt the bed next to her sag under his weight. Not knowing what would happen next, she tried to calm her racing heart, keeping her eyes shut and breathing even, like she had taught herself.
         She felt Tim move closer to her, putting his arm around her, his front to her back, like a spoon. The scent of cheap perfume mixed with beer emanated from him. Rather than risk his wrath by confronting Tim on it, she quickly tamped down her jealousy and convinced herself that at least he came home to her. His hand slid up the front of her nightgown, his fingers find her nipples and gently rubbing first one then the other. Before she could stop it, her body responded: her nipples grew hard, sending tingling sensations straight to her crotch, and she moaned. He knew just how to play her body... God, she loved him.
         She rolled over to discover Tim already naked and hard. Very hard. The tramp of the cheap perfume must have done something to affect him like this. Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she reached out for him.
         Tim took Mary's hands and put them above her head, laying her on her back, and climbed on top of her. One quick thrust and he was inside her, though she was not ready. He found his rhythm, a fast tempo, slamming into her. It hurt a little, but she told herself that she sort of liked it, it seemed like he couldn't get deep enough inside her.
         Suddenly he pulled out, laying on top of her, his dick pulsing, spewing his semen onto her stomach. Kissing her neck, he mumbled "we don't want to get pregnant again, not just yet baby."
         Rolling onto his back, Tim reached over to the nightstand and lit a cigarette. Mary got up and got a washcloth and a towel, and cleaned him up first, then herself.
         "Thank you baby," he said as she lay back down beside him. He handed her his cigarette and pulled her close so they could share the smoke, like they used to. "I'm sorry about before, baby, you know you shouldn't get me like that." He held her tight. "God, Mary, I love you so much... I love you enough to kill you."
         As Tim said those last words, he took the cigarette back from her, took a deep drag, and put it out.
         The pit of her stomach knotted up with dread again. She thought quickly, "no reaction, no reaction, no tears, no pain." "I love you too baby," she said.
         He kissed the top of her head and rolled over, mumbling "Good night baby."
         As Mary laid there in the dark, her mind worked overtime. "I love you enough to kill you. What does that mean, I love you enough to kill you. What if Tim does kill me. He's going to kill me. I know he is. It's coming. He's going to kill me. I'm going to die by this man. He's going to kill me."
         She stayed beside him until the rumble of his drunken snore convinced her he was asleep. Mary got up and made a pot of coffee, and stared out the back window. At 5:30, she dumped the old coffee and brewed him a fresh pot, making sure to count 11 scoops carefully. Mary pulled sausage and eggs out of the fridge, careful not to leave any mess as she microwaved his sausage and scrambled the eggs.
         Just as the timer on the microwave went off, she heard Tim whistling down the steps. He flashed that grin at her, the one that gets her panties damp, and she couldn't help but smile back at him as he sat down at the table.
         She put his breakfast and coffee in front of him, and he quickly ate. "I'm late for work." He took a drink of his coffee and made a face. "Coffee's weak today."
         Mary cringed ever so slightly, tensing herself for the blow she expected. "I'm sorry Baby, I must've not put enough coffee in the filter." 'Eleven, I thought I put in 11. I could swear I did,' she thought.
         Surprisingly, Tim left for work without any further comment. His job as a wrench in a garage nearby was their only source of income. Even though Mary had been a secretary for a while at a construction company, Tim didn't like her working. Sure, the extra cash had been nice, but they lived in his townhouse. His mom paid the mortgage every month, so they didn't have to pay any rent, and he thought the other girls in the office had been nosy... though Mary had thought they were just trying to be her friends.
         Mary cleaned up the kitchen and headed up to the shower, lost in her thoughts. 'I love you enough to kill you. What if he does? I don't want to die. What can I do? My parents hate me now, they must after all this time. I have nowhere to go...'
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         As she showered, Mary remembered the lady from the ER she'd gone to when she lost the baby. She had seemed nice at the time, and had even somehow seen past Mary's lies about the bruises and falling down steps.
         When Mary was getting dressed to leave the hospital, Dana had walked in pushing a wheelchair that had a brown paper bag on it. "Take it. Hide it. Use it when you're ready," she had said. Mary had peeked into the bag, and saw there was a change of clothes, some money and a cell phone. "It's a getaway bag," Dana had said.
         "I don't know what you're talking about, why would I need this?" Mary tried to act insulted, but it hadn't worked.
         "Just take it. Hide it somewhere he doesn't go. When you're ready, you'll know what to do." Dana gave her a slight hug and then Mary sat down on the wheelchair and stuffed the bag into her purse.
         Dana pushed the wheelchair out into the waiting room, and sat there with Mary for 2 hours waiting for Tim to come pick her up. Tears ran down Mary's face as she avoided Dana's sympathetic looks, embarrassed because Tim wasn't there yet... but still knowing Dana was some angel sent to help. The baby was gone, Tim had beaten her so badly that she'd begun bleeding right after he had left for work. The baby was gone. Her baby. Not even born yet and Mary hadn't been able to protect her.
         Mary hadn't been ready then. But maybe she could be strong now.
         Mary toweled off, quickly got dressed, and went to the hall closet. She knelt down and pulled out the linens that were on the bottom shelf of the closet. She reached into the very back and pulled out the corner panel. Mary felt around until she found the bag that she had so long ago tucked deep inside this little nook. She pulled it out and stared at it.
         This was a small paper bag, just a regular old shopping bag, but what it contained symbolized so much. "I could just go. Leave. Now. I could leave Tim." Mary's thoughts echoed in her head until they were so loud she had to speak them.
         "I. Can. Leave."
         Mary had never been more scared in her life - not even when Tim was around.
         She picked up the cell phone and stared at it. Slowly, she raised her shaking hand and pressed her finger to the power button. The display lit up as the phone came to life.
         Certain now that Tim would find an excuse to come home from work early, Mary's heart hammered in her chest as she dialed 9-1-1.
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         "911 Emergency"
         Mary opened her mouth to speak, but no words came.
         "Hello? Is anybody there?" the voice on the other end was gentle.
         Tears ran down Mary's face as she struggled to make noise.
         "I can hear you. Talk to me. What's happening? Are you ok?" This kind lady on the other end of the phone sounded like she really wanted to know.
         "I ... Ineedhelp." The words came out in a rush.
         "How can I help you? Are you hurt?"
         "It's my boyfriend. He... hurts me."
         "It's ok. It's going to be ok. Is he there with you?"
         "No. He's at work, but he could be home any minute I just know it. Nevermind I'm fine, everything's fine." Mary instinctively thought she was making a mistake. "If Tim ever finds out about this, he'll kill me for sure," she thought. "He'll kill me."
         The lady on the other end of the line was still speaking, but Mary had been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't been listening.
         "... are you still there? I'm still here are you there?"
         "Yes. I'm here but if he finds out I've called you he'll kill me. I know it!" Mary's hysteria now registered in her voice, and the lady on the other end of the line was typing something.
         "My name's Dana. I'm here with you. If he's still at work then this is ok. You're going to be ok. Why don't you tell me your name?"
         Mary's heart calmed when she heard Dana's name. Dana had worked at the hospital, had been the one person who saw through the lies and excuses. It was a sign... Mary decided to trust her.
         "Mary. My name is Mary."
         "OK Mary, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get my friend Denise. Denise is going to talk you through this, ok? I'm still here, but I'm putting Denise on the line with us now."
         "Hi Mary. I'm Denise." This new voice was soothing, gentle like Dana's, but there was toughness in it. Mary's stomach slowly started to unknot.
         "Hi."
         "Mary, tell me about what's going on. I want to help you."
         Mary was quiet for a moment. "My boyfriend hits me sometimes. A lot. Hard. I'm scared. He told me last night that he loves me enough to kill me. I don't want to die. Please, please help me! Ohmigosh I'm so scared."
         "OK Mary, we're here. Dana and I are here. We're both with you. What time does your boyfriend work?"
         "He just left about half an hour ago. He has the 7-3 shift today."
         "OK Mary. Here's what we're going to do. He's still at work. You need to trust me. I know this is hard, I know it's scary, but you can do this."
         "OK" Mary replied in a small voice.
         "Mary, Dana is going to stay on the phone with you. I'm going to get in my car and come pick you up. Can I come to your house?"
         "No, no, what if he sees you? What if he comes home early?" Panic struck Mary like a brick.
         "Mary, shh, shh, it's ok. If you don't want me to pick you up at your house, I can meet you somewhere. Dana will stay on the line with you. Are you on your house phone?"
         "no"
         "OK, so you're on a cell phone, right? You can leave with that. Tell me what you're doing now."
         "I'm sitting on the floor in the hallway. I've made a mess of the linen closet. Oh I just know I'm going to pay for this." Mary carefully stacked the linens back up.
         "It's ok Mary. You're not going to be in trouble. You're going to be ok. We'll get you out of there, you're going to be ok. I promise."
         "You promise?" Mary now tucked the corner panel back into the wall, and put the linens on the bottom shelf.
         "Yes, Mary, I do. It's going to be ok. Where can you meet me?" Denise sounded so nice, Mary really believed her.
         "Um. There's a 7-11 around the corner." Mary pulled the paper bag into her lap. "But it will take me a few minutes to get there."
         "That's ok Mary. I'll go there, and Dana will stay with you on the phone. Do you want that?"
         "Yes. Yes I do. Dana please stay. Denise you promise I'll be ok?"
         "Yes, Honey. I promise you'll be ok. What corner is the 7-11 on?"
         Mary thought for a minute, and then said "Partridge and Addison. There's a dry cleaners next door to it."
         "I know that corner. Mary I'm going to leave now. It will take me 10 minutes to get there. 10 minutes. And you'll be on the phone with Dana while I'm gone. You're going to be ok Mary. You can do this. You will live. I'll meet you inside the store by the magazine rack. You're going to be ok."
         There was a click on the line and then Mary heard Dana's voice.
         "Mary, I'm still here. It's Dana. You're doing the right thing. But you need to get going."
         Mary thought of the things she had brought with when she moved into Tim's. "Should I bring anything? What about my clothes, things that I brought with when I moved in?" Mary darted into the bedroom and went to her jewelry box. She absolutely had to take her grandmother's earrings.
         Dana told her, "Make sure you travel light Mary. Things are replaceable, but people aren't. You need your ID and whatever money you've got, but beyond that just bring what you can carry."
         Mary glanced to Tim's side of the bed and spotted his work laundry bag. "Dana, it's Tuesday, right? Oh no I know it's Tuesday. He forgot his laundry for work."
         As Mary said those last words, she heard the front door open.
         "I've got to go, he's home," she whispered, and then clicked off the phone and powered it down.
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         Mary grabbed the paper bag that was on the bed and threw the cell phone in, and quickly tossed it under the bed on her side.
         She wiped her face. "Hello?" she called out.
         Tim walked into the bedroom and headed straight to the laundry bag. "Forgot my clothes," he said. Then he looked at the bed and then at Mary. "Why is the bed a mess?" He stared at her, his gaze making her heart pound so loudly Mary was sure he could hear it.
         "I was just making it, I wanted to get showered and dressed first." She replied. Her thoughts were racing, darting between "what's the right answer to what he's saying" to "please don't let him know what I was just doing" to "OH GOD what if he can see the getaway bag" and "oh thank God I hadn't been downstairs walking out the door when he got home."
         He looked suspicious. "What's in your hands?"
         Mary held out her hands and showed him her grandmother's earrings. "I wanted to wear them today."
         "Those pieces of shit? Whatever. You're lucky I let you keep them. Worthless, like you. Guess that's why you like them." His voice changed as he said those last words, and he moved towards Mary.
         She looked at him, swallowed deeply, but stayed where she was. Running would only make it worse.
         Tim took the earrings from Mary's hands. "Here, let me help you put those on."
         All Mary could think was how close he was to the getaway bag, so she leaned her head a little closer to Tim.
         "Earrings are pointy and sharp. You should be careful when you put them on." His voice was ominous as his hands went up to her ear. He pressed the earring post to her earlobe. "Yesss... you should," he hissed as he pushed harder, deliberately missing the earring hole. Mary fought with herself not to cry out, but she could not stop the tears.
         Tim eased his hold on her earlobe and slid the earring into place. "Now let me do the other one." Mary could tell nothing from his voice this time, and she had no choice but to turn her head. Tim's hands were steady as he slid the second earring into place, and he grasped her chin with his thumb and forefinger.
         Pulling her to face him, he smiled at her. "Now that's better, isn't it? Make the bed." He kissed the top of her head, turned and picked up the forgotten laundry bag, and walked out.
         Mary sat down on the bed, shaking, and then jumped up and quickly made the bed as she heard Tim walk out the front door and drive away.
         She sat down on the floor and looked at the brown bag that wasn't peeking out from underneath at all.
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         Mary sat in that same spot and counted to 300. 300 seconds. Still alive. 5 minutes. Then she grabbed the brown paper bag and ran down the steps. She grabbed her purse and keys, locked the front door and ran out the back while the phone powered back on.
         She had to get to that 7-11.
         Mary stuffed the paper bag into her purse again, but kept the cell phone in her hand. She ran the back way up the street, through backyards, going on and off the bike trail. When the phone was back on, Mary stopped and dialed.
         "9-1-1 emergency." Mary didn't recognize the voice.
         "Is... this is weird. Is Dana there?"
         "Yes, but is there something I can help you with?"
         "No, please, I need to speak to Dana." The voice on the other end was nice enough, but it wasn't Dana.
         "Sure, just a sec," there was a click on the line and then another phone rang.
         "This is Dana. How can I help you?"
         "Dana, it's Mary. I'm not too late am I? Did Denise leave? I am on my way now, I promise, please tell her to wait for me!" Mary started walking fast so that she wouldn't lose time standing around. "Don't let her leave me behind!"
         "Mary, thank God you called back. Denise is still waiting; she's by the magazine rack. You can do this. Are you on your way?"
         "Yes" Mary's breathing was hard as she hurried. "It's going to take me a few more minutes to get there, I have to make sure to go a different way."
         "OK Mary, I'm here. I'm with you. You're not alone. Just keep going. You can do this. You can live Mary."
         Dana kept up a constant stream of encouragement while Mary ran into the 7-11.
         "OK I'm here, I'm going to the magazine rack. I see her." There was a short lady standing by the magazines, flipping through the Enquirer. Her eyes watched Mary as she walked up.
         "She's waiting there for you Mary. Just walk up and it will all be ok. Denise will get you out."
         "Thank you Dana. Thank you so much."
         "Oh Mary, you're welcome."
         Mary didn't know whether to keep the line open and keep Dana involved or what, so she didn't hang up.
         The short lady ran a hand through her pixie-styled hair and put the magazine down. "Mary, I'm Denise. It's all going to be ok. You're safe now. Come with me."
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         PART 2 - IN HER OWN MIND
         Mary woke up suddenly, and instinct kicked in. She took note of her surroundings - unfamiliar yet comforting. Safehouse. Heart pounding. Body bathed in sweat. Tears running down her face. 3 nights in a row she had woken herself up like this - but this night there was an improvement. This night she wasn't screaming.
         Inhale slowly. Exhale slowly. Breathe in. Breathe out.
         The panic started to fade as Mary's heartrate got closer to normal. She knew it was just a dream but it was so real... 'He can't find me, I'm safe, I'm safe, he can't hurt me anymore. I'm safe. Tim is not here."
         And with that thought, reality kicked Mary hard in the gut. Tim was not there. Tim wasn't coming. She was all alone. A different kind of panic started to build. "Ohmigod I'm never going to see Tim again. Maybe it wasn't so bad, maybe it was my fault. I know better than to be downstairs when he gets home. Ugh the house was a mess no wonder he got so mad. It's all my fault. And now with me gone 3 nights he'll never let me come home. I want to go home, I just want to go home. I want to be with Tim. I need to be with Tim."
         On and on her thoughts spiraled in a frenzied dance.
         Finally, dawn came.
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         Mary showered and dressed faster than normal. Maybe if she was quick enough, she could sneak out of the safehouse and go find Tim at work. She had to beg him to take her back. She needed him... like an alcoholic needs a drink, Tim was like life. Tim was everything. Without him, nothing mattered.
         Mary left her room and quietly padded down the steps to the first floor of the safehouse. She smelled coffee and knew that Mindy was awake. Mindy was kind of the "Den Mother" in the safehouse, as she was the shelter worker on-site. The house was small, only 4 bedrooms, and they were all filled. Mary wasn't sure what kind of training someone needed to work for the shelter, but she was glad someone was there. At least someone in the house was normal.
         But Mindy being awake screwed up Mary's plans. Unsure of what to do next, Mary kept her head down and went to the cabinet to get a coffee cup.
         "Good morning Mary. How'd you sleep?"
         "um... ok I guess." Mary wouldn't meet Mindy's eyes.
         "Third night here. It's the worst one yet, isn't it," Mindy said quietly.
         "No it wasn't so bad. I didn't scream."
         "It's the worst in a different way though, isn't it...? Mary, look at me." Mary grudgingly pulled her head up and looked at Mindy out of the corner of her eye. "It's hard to get the courage to leave. And you did that. But staying away is hard, too."
         Mary's face paled. How could Mindy possibly know what she was thinking? Had she said something out loud? No she was sure she hadn't said anything.
         Mindy smiled a small smile. "Do you know why I work here, Mary?"
         Mary shook her head, no.
         "Why don't you have a seat and I'll tell you," Mindy invited. Mary, feeling like she had no choice, filled her coffee cup and sat down.
         "8 years ago, my best friend was killed by her boyfriend. They had an on-again/off-again relationship... every time she got the courage to leave, she would talk herself or let him talk her into going back. He knew her weaknesses, and oh could he charm her..." Mindy's voice dropped as she continued, "they were in their off-again phase and she called me up after a couple of days and said she missed him. She just wanted to go home, to go back to him. I couldn't talk her out of it, she'd already made up her mind to go. She just wanted to tell someone, like that would make it okay to go. When he came home from work that night, she was waiting for him on the doorstep - he had already changed the locks. I guess something snapped when he saw her... at least that's what he said at the trial. A couple of the neighbors saw him jump out of his truck and just start beating her. He got several punches in before she passed out. Then he beat her head against the step until she died. He sat down next to her and lit up a cigarette. When the paramedics and police got there, he was on his 3rd smoke, he'd been ashing on her dead body and was putting the butts out in a pool of her blood."
         By the time Mindy stopped speaking, tears were rolling down her face. Silent for a few moments, Mindy let the tears come while Mary stared at the ground.
         "When Davina died, I felt horrible, like I hadn't done enough to help her. That's why I work here. I've been living here for 5 years now... and that's why I know why last night was the worst night for you."
         Again, Mindy fell silent.
         Mary sniffled. "I just miss him so much."
         "I know."
         They sat in silence for a few minutes.
         Mindy reached over the table and put her hand on Mary's. "I know you do, Sweetheart, and that's ok. And I know you want to leave right now and go to him, and that's ok too. But before you do, you need to think about one thing. You left for a reason. You were strong enough to go. You can be strong enough to stay away. I know you can. So for right now, let's just sit here, ok? If you want to talk, we'll talk, if you want to be quiet, we'll not say a word... but let's just sit and get through the next 5 minutes without you leaving. OK? Can we do that? Can you stay 5 minutes?"
         "I guess." 5 minutes wouldn't matter, she still had to figure out how to get to the shop from here.
         Mindy sat there, across the table from Mary, and drank her coffee. True to her word, she didn't speak. Mary's mind went from the story she just heard to the hole in her heart where she missed Tim. The way he would look at her when they were out with his friends and everybody knew that she was his... the way he would make a joke - usually about her - and everybody would laugh. The way his insults sliced through her soul. The way he controlled her, controlled everything about her from the clothes she wore to when she could speak to her parents to who she could talk to when she was allowed to go out with him.
         "You did it." Mary looked up, startled, as Mindy's voice broke the silence. The perplexed look on her face prompted Mindy to keep going. "You made it through 5 minutes."
         Mary smiled. "Did I? That was so fast."
         Mindy got up and refilled her coffee as she said, "You were pretty deep in thought. Can I ask what you were thinking about?"
         Mary was silent for a moment. "I was thinking about how much I miss Tim and so many things about him. When I walk into a room he's in and he smiles at me, the whole room knows I'm his. It makes me feel like the most special girl in the world." Mary paused. "Then I was thinking about how mean he could be, just with his words. And you know what? This is going to sound nuts, but I don't think I've bought myself clothes in 3 years. Tim bought them."
         "It sounds like he controlled a lot," Mindy said.
         "Yeah, I guess he did. I mean, I don't even like my hair this long but ..."
         "I think you'd look great with shorter hair. How short would you want to cut it?"
         Mary smiled sheepishly and said, "Oh if I dared, I'd go really short. Like Halle Berry short. But I couldn't, I just couldn't."
         Mindy looked at Mary and asked, "Why not?"
         Mary just stared at her, and Mindy saw the realization dawn in her eyes as Mary realized there was no reason why she couldn't cut her hair. "Would you like to?"
         Mary kept staring, her mouth slightly open, and nodded.
         ********************************************************************
         Mindy opened the door to the salon. Mary stood at the threshold, uncertain. Could she really do this? "I know Tim will hate it, Tim will hate me." While these thoughts has held her captive for the past hour since Mindy first mentioned a haircut, Mary couldn't help but feel a little bit of excitement. Hope bubbled up in her chest while her stomach knotted and her shoulders tensed. Mary picked up her foot and stepped into the air-conditioned coolness.
         The lady behind the counter smiled as she greeted Mindy and Mary. "Welcome to Nanette's, how can we help you transform yourself today?" she smiled.
         Those simple words broke through Mary's fear. She smiled back. "I'd like to get my hair cut."






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Last update 11/10/23