The Worst Bullying Experience

In elementary school and the neighborhood I lived in got really bad, the kids hated me. Even adults had such hatred against me, and it was a very bad ghetto neighborhood. The false accusations against me happened in the apartment complex, the bad kids would tell the apartment manager Mrs. Mckinder false accusations and she would believe them over me, and I'm so glad she never evicted my parents! Somebody kept peeing in the pool but they kept accusing me of doing it and Mrs. Mckinder called me a liar when I told her I didn’t do it. She was the most twofaced person I ever met because even though she was really nice taking me to church, her true colors came out in the apartment complex. She eventually stopped taking me to church because the false accusations against me were piling up and she didn’t trust me anymore. Yes even grown adults were making false accusations against me. Some even thought I was racist because there were 2 brothers that mocked me the worst and they always went away with lying. The woman that my brother kicked was white but she was racist against white people so she hated me very bad. Those 2 brothers were African American and all the African Americans that lived there falsely accused me of being racist. I was one of the only few white people there because Buena Park was primarily Hispanic. All the neighbors were against me except for Tori and her parents.

My anger grew so bad that I started screaming, crying, and threatening everyone who mistreated me in any way, shape, or form. My parents started taking me to a Psychiatrist and they prescribed me a medication called Risperdal. It was an Antidepressant so the Psychiatrist said it would help me with my anger outbursts. It really didn’t help me much because the kids and adults in the apartment complex would enjoy provoking me to anger even though I kept making threats against them that I would kill them if they kept being mean to me. I started taking revenge on them by chasing everyone with rocks to throw at them, and I became very violent because I was sick and tired of being bullied! My anger was very bad when Tori wasn’t around on school days. I was fine when I hung out with her, but whenever she wasn’t around it was always chaos going on in the apartment complex. Mrs. Mckinder didn’t like it at all and blamed everything on me when she didn’t understand me when I told her about how everyone was mean to me. She didn’t do anything about it and just let everyone continue to treat me like trash. I was so broken, hurt, and all I needed was love.

I was so hurt and broken to the point where I started doing anything in the world to please people. I became a big people pleaser where I started doing anything anyone asked me to do no matter if it’s good or bad. There were times we all played truth or dare and I did all the dares no matter how nasty it was. I licked someone’s mucus spit on the benches, I danced on top of the tables, they asked me to shake my butt and I did, I even did sexual things like show my boobs to all the guys, sucked someone’s penis, etc. I was only 11 years old for crying out loud! I gained popularity in vain because I was desperate to be liked and desperate to get attention. I even had homosexual relationships with some of the girls there and spent the night at their apartments and did sexual things with them. I also did more sexual things with some boys there. There were times I pleased people so much to the point where it almost destroyed me and Tori’s friendship.

I became a major sinner. I did fornication but not sexual intercourse, I lied, I stolen people’s items out of their apartments, and I became part of the ghetto life. Everyone was cheering me on for sinning and I loved it. I fell away from Christianity and became completely worldly. I would get into fights and hurt people when they treat me bad. I was out of control and my parents didn’t like it at all. There were times my parents grounded me for being around gang bangers at night and all the other bad things I did. I hated being grounded because I had to stay inside and deal with cigarette smoke and being lonely. I craved all the attention. I hated being inside so bad to the point where I started pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes just to feel good. I pulled out my body hairs and pubic hairs just to feel good.

My parents took me to the Psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with Trichotillomania which was a hair pulling disorder. He then prescribed me with Prozac. I was on both Risperdal and Prozac. The Prozac made my anger even worse than when I was off of it. I started doing stupid stuff out of anger each time I was mistreated by someone and I became way more violent and I started injuring people and making people bleed.

I was still going through hell at home and in the apartment complex. The bullying got so bad to the point where I was mocked at daily by neighbors no matter if they were kids or grown adults. Those 2 brothers I mentioned earlier were chasing me a lot trying to run my feet over with their bikes, and they were really good at making up lies about me to other kids around my age. The older one that was my age purposely hit me in the eye with a football, the younger one tried to provoke me with anger my making fun of me daily. One time I chased the older one down to attack him but he punched me really hard on the chest to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I had to go in the ambulance to the hospital because I was gasping for air and I couldn’t breathe. I was able to catch my breath and it turns out that the hit he did was so hard that it knocked the air out of my lungs. After that he made up lies about that situation to everyone in the apartment complex that he didn’t hit me and that in fact I ran into a wall. Nobody believed me when I said he hit me, but everyone believed him and thought I just ran into a wall. Soon after, he was hit by a car and was severely injured and I was glad about that revenge that came upon him. I was also glad that I finally got a break from him when he had to stay inside for a month to recover from his injury.

I dealt with some girls my age also, and they were brats. Sometimes they would pretend to be my friend some days, but on other days they would make fun of me, mock me, etc. There were times I became violent because I was so sick and tired of being bullied, and all I wanted was for them to at least respect me, but the neighborhood was so bad that everyone was used to fighting each other, hating each other, etc. They all kept ganging up on me on a daily basis to mock me and they really enjoyed provoking me to anger on a daily basis. It came to the point where I couldn’t have peace with them at least for one day.

All the kids my age and older always spit on the ground and I thought that was gross. They would hawk up mucus and spit on my windows and my screen door. My parents didn’t like the fact that they kept spitting on our windows leaving dried up mucus all over our apartment windows and screen door. They never listened to my parents when they yelled at them to stop spitting on our windows, they just kept doing it. We didn’t bother to clean the windows or screen door because we knew that they would keep doing it anyways. They have also spat in my face and my hair at times when they mocked me, so I had to deal with their nasty spit on a daily basis.
Even the adults there were so evil against me. Some women made threats against me like they want to fight me, and they made threats against my parents too. One woman who falsely accused me of being racist wanted to attack my mom so bad, but good thing she didn’t. There were 2 adopted sons that the apartment manager had, one was 18 and the other was 17. They were really horrible at mocking me, especially the 17 year old. He kept threatening me to blind me by trying to shine a laser light in my eyes. I’m glad I kept covering my eyes so I never got blinded, but he laughed so hard at me when he did that. He mocked me each time he saw me, and I kept screaming at him telling him to stop, but he would mock me even more. There were other adults that cussed at me so much, calling me names, laughing at me, etc. The bullying in the apartment complex became unbearable at times to the point where I just go home and take a crying break until I get the strength to go back outside.

My anger grew so bad to the point where I wanted to kill anyone who hurts me first. I had murder in my heart big time. There were times where I chased people with rocks, sharp objects, or just my bare hands. I was attacking anyone who made fun of me. I did not tolerate being mocked at and bullied anymore, I had enough! I was seeking revenge to anyone who wronged me, and I just wanted them to die so I won't deal with them anymore. I made death threats like "if you be mean to me, I will kill you." And I screamed on the top of my lungs telling them to stop treating me this way! But they won't listen, and they asked for it. So I hunt them down and attacked them. I yelled on the top of my lungs "why won't anyone be nice to me?!" Like I said, I lived in a very bad neighborhood and the kids my age were extremely wicked!

This neighborhood was almost like living in hell, it was a horrible dump of a place, very trashy, and this was the worst place I have ever lived in my whole entire life! I didn’t felt belonging there whatsoever, and I started questioning my existence at this point. I was questioning if I was supposed to be born here in the first place, I felt out of place in this area. I was lost and I was so confused on why almost everyone was acting so evil and horrible. I wanted love and peace, and I hated all the evil that was going on there. I was confused at that time on why people choose to be evil over good. All I ever wanted was love, peace, and harmony. I didn’t understand why they don’t desire the same. I was so angry at the fact that they love being so evil, and I hated that they kept acting this way. I didn't understand why I was constantly a target for other people's problems. Even though I had all this going on, there were times when I sat alone crying so hard, while constantly hoping that all this will go away, that my life will get better, and that there's someone out there that will accept me and love me for who I am.

In the beginning of 2009, my parents got so fed up with the neighbors in the apartment complex to the point where they wanted to move to a nicer neighborhood. One day, the younger of the 2 brothers mocked my mom when she was coming home from work. My mom had pain in one of her hips and she walked a certain way because of her hip pain. When my mom was limping to our door, the younger of the 2 brothers mocked her calling her Donald Duck just because of the way she walked. He was quacking, laughing, flapping his arms like chicken wings, and copied my mom’s limping in a mocking way while he followed her to the door. When she came inside, she started crying to my dad about it and that was their last straw! My parents decided to move out of the area for certain when their apartment lease is up. They always hated the ghetto even though we had no choice but to live there become of their income status. At that time they were able to afford to move out because my mom had a better paying security guard job.
In May 2009, I found out we were moving to Huntington Beach, CA. My parents spent the time before May to find somewhere to move to, so they got approved for a 2 bedroom apartment in a really nice area in Huntington Beach. For the rest of the time I lived in Buena Park, I got good grades in school, and still dealing with anger and bullying at school and the apartment. I was so excited to move and start my new life out of Buena Park because I was sick of living there too. I was so looking forward to get away from everyone in that apartment complex that treated me bad and start over in a new area.

At school, everyone found out I was moving so they all were so excited in vain for me to leave, they hated me there and wanted me out of there. I felt the same way because I hated the bullying and gossip they couldn’t stop doing. The teachers I had were the only ones that were actually going to miss me because I did so well in my classes. I decided to see my crush at lunch one last time, and of course he hated me so bad at this point because of all the gossip and lies about me that he believed. He was cussing at me out of excitement in vain that he was looking forward to not seeing me again. I knew there was a last chance on hopefully getting with him before I move so I kept trying to pursue him but he wanted me to stay away from him. He screamed “F*** you!” many times, and “I don’t like you!” and “Stay away from me!” After school on the last day I was there, I followed him as far as he walked at a distance just to see where he lived. I guess he lived very far, but I had to get going home. I finally woke up to my senses that I’ll never get a chance with him so I went home and started packing stuff with my family. I was thinking maybe I’ll meet a future husband in Huntington Beach.