Tough Thoughts

Tough Thoughts

I sit here, where I am
Not where I wanted to be.
Thinking of what I missed
With only myself to blame.

I missed you as my bride
The vision of you in white
Walking the aisle to me
Seeing the love in your eyes

I missed planning with you
Of the family we would have
The number of children
And where to buy the first house

I missed being with you
And your first child being born
Wiping your brow and tears
Sharing the first sounds of life.

I missed the second birth
When the boy child came along
Knowing how proud you were
My pride would have outshone yours.

I missed all of life’s firsts
The first steps of both children
The first they said “Momma “
And the first time for “Da-Da”

I missed intimate times
Those two times when you conceived
When those children began
How I wish that they were mine.

I missed 54 years of
Celebrating with LOVED ones
Happy days like birthdays
And holidays through the years

I missed important days
Days of being there for you
During your sad moments
And during your happiest

I missed picking you up
When you were at your lowest
I was not there for you
For your greatest achievements

I missed being part of
Your MOST important days
Which means that I have missed
MY LIFE”s MOST IMPORTANT!!