Psycho -Scholarship application

Dear Nadia,

I am writing to apply for the scholarship of your program. I see that the applications have long passed, but I decided to try sending my application now, and we'll see what happens.

I would like to receive support because I want to participate in the program for next 6 months. I like the name of the program, "Finding Yourself." I relise that I need it. I can't find myself anymore. I'm trying, but it's not working. The last 4 months have been very hard, perhaps even the hardest so far. A lot has happened.

Four months ago, everything was going as planned. I started my business, had clients, and at the same time, I was running the old business that has been going on for a year and a half (I started that with my dad). It was tough, but I was happy, I knew where I was going and what I wanted. Then, it came a shock, my dad ended up in the hospital and 40 days later he passed away. I lost control over everything. I couldn't, and still can't, accept that he's gone. He was my role model, business partner, mentor, support and safety. During those 40 days, I let go of both businesses and dedicated myself to my dad. I wanted to be there until the end. Later, it all caught up with me. Clients expressed distrust (people don't have much understanding in the business world), the money invested was lost. I tried to save whatever could be saved. Also, after my dad's death, everyone expected me to take over his business and take care of the family. And I tried, because everyone was having a hard time, and I put everything before myself. From poor and bad nutrition, lack of sleep, excessive work, and accumulated negative emotions, I don't know, what, drained me more. All of this led to burnout and panic attacks. I decided to go on vacation, a pilgrimage to Portugal for two weeks, hoping to find some peace and gather strength for the future. However, on the way, I fell in love with a guy who is in an even bigger mess than I am. He is currently going through a divorce because his wife cheated on him and took his children. We connected too quickly and too deeply. He is broken, and I am broken. I don't know how or why, but I really liked him too much. It was hard for me to let him go, even though I knew I had to. We spent two months together, trying... it didn't work, our grounds were bed. I feel like I hurt him, and I hurt myself. It's like everything is piling up. People say, 'Trouble never comes alone.'

Now I'm currently at the beginning, maybe not even that. I don't know where to go anymore. I don't know who I am anymore, what I want to be. Am I even capable of being what I want? Does it make any sense?

I would like to be well again, to start somewhere. I believe I am capable, and I can do and give a lot more in life. I don't want to be broken anymore.

I would apply for a scholarship because I am currently unemployed (I'm not really in a condition to work), and I have some savings for the next few months. I would like to recover before returning to work. Currently, I can't afford such programs, but I belive they would help me.

I hope you will consider my application, or at least subscribe me to the newsletter. I tried to apply through the form, but it gave me an error.

Best regards,
Marija