White Cow on the Hillside

Visitors to the town of Thatway find it difficult to find their way anywhere. The local residents know all the landmarks and all the one-ways, two-ways, this-ways and that-ways by heart, but the visitor, attempting to walk or drive anywhere, has to ask a million directions and these leave her or him a thousand times more confused than before.

Thus it came about that Lilli, attempting to go from Lornda's place to Maryann's via the ice-cream shop, stopped to ask a local chap named Robert for directions.

"Ah, yes, I know where Maryann lives," said Robert, to Lilli's delight. "Just beyond that little valley, see. You go straight as the crow flies and turn left when you see the White Cow on the Hillside."

"White Cow on the Hillside?" Lilli repeated, baffled. "But --"

But Robert had gone.

So our brave Lilli set off, looking at the crows flying up high, to make sure she was walking straight as the crow flies. "I hope I find a White Cow on the Hillside when I get there," she panted. The walk was longer than she had figured, and she had to get there before the ice-cream melted.

When she got to the hillside, her heart lifted. There was, sure enough, a white cow there, as Robert had predicted. Now that she had seen the white cow, she had to turn left. Turn left she did.

She came to a pretty little house with a pretty little chimney and a pretty little garden through a pretty little gate. She walked in and rang the doorbell at the big front door.

She heard quick footsteps and the door handle being turned from the inside. "Maryann," she called out, as the door opened.

But it wasn't Maryann who stood there. It was Rachel, in a red checked apron with 'Choconut' written across it.

"This ice cream is melting," is the only thing Lilli could find to say.

"Let's stop it melting, then," replied Rachel, practically. "Come along in."

Rachel set two plates on the pretty little dining table, and drew up two big chairs. The girls grabbed soup spoons and dug in.

"Oh, dear," Lilli sighed, when, in seemingly no time, the ice cream was finished, "now what'll I take to Maryann's house?"

"Take her one of my chocolate cakes," Rachel replied. "I made an extra one because I sensed someone would need it."

So, carrying the chocolate cake, Lilli set off again. This time, she asked Ken for directions. "Oh, Maryann's house, yes, I know that," Ken said. "You take a right when you see the brown cow next to the plough."

So our brave Lilli marched on. Sure enough, she came to a brown cow near a plough, and having seen it, turned right.

She came to a villa decked with ivy. It was beautiful, and a little imposing. Lilli went to the front door and knocked, there being no doorbell.

"Yes, Madam?" the butler asked, as he opened the door.

"I'm looking for Maryann."

"I'm afraid this isn't Maryann's house, Madam, it's Chelsey's," the butler replied.

"Oh, I'm so tired carrying this cake. Does Chelsey like chocolate cake?"

"Why, yes, Madam, she certainly does."

So it came about that Lilli and Chelsey shared Rachel's chocolate cake. They had some ginger tea to go with it, and a very cozy conversation.

"Oh dear, now what shall I take to Maryann's place?" Lilli sighed, after the fifteenth story was told.

"Take her some jam tarts, my butler makes lovely jam tarts. And take my butler with you, to show you the way."

With the butler by her side, carrying the basket of freshly baked jam tarts, Lilli had no trouble finding Maryann's house. It was almost bedtime, so the two girls got into their pajamas and had the jam tarts in bed, careful not to spill any crumbs on the sheets. Lilli told Maryann of her quest and detours.

"Oh dear, those cows. The have minds of their own, they have. Never stay in the same place," Maryann groaned. "The directions you were given were correct as of yesterday, but this morning, the black cow and white cow exchanged places and the brown cow and yellow cow exchanged places. The mayor of Thatway himself tried to moo them into good behaviour, but they didn't listen."

"Maybe if you had a MOOyer instead of a mayor, they may listen."

And the two girls laughed and ate their jam tarts.

The moral of the story is if your friend likes jam tarts better than ice cream, it's a blessing that cows made you lose your way twice.