Speak Well - Conversation

Speak Well

Conversation

“It was hard to have a conversation; everyone was talking.”

-- Yogi Berra (?)                                                                    

         I have a love-hate relationship with conversation, and hate is winning. Look to me as the last person on earth to advise on this subject. I am the classic bad example.
         Small talk has always been difficult for me. Reading several 'how to' books and trying to practice various techniques for starting and sustaining a conversation has not been successful. One common approach for initiating an exchange is to offer a compliment followed by an open-ended question. That always succeeds, but what follows is intolerable. Instead of starting a two-way conversation, it unleashes a never-ending monologue. In five minutes, I know the person's life story without me saying anything beyond the first sentence.
         Conversation among adults should be an enjoyable, enriching experience for all. A cigar and a glass of bourbon can make it even better. An exchange of thoughts and opinions on worthy subjects should leave all parties better for participating. In my world, that rarely happens. Most gatherings become a contest to see who can talk the most and the loudest while saying nothing.
         I will offer this advice. Take time to observe conversations in progress. Ask yourself whether information is being shared or is it just a verbal shoving match.
         Over the years, I have evolved five principles for controlling my mouth. They seem to be mine alone, for I don't see them being widely practiced, and they certainly won't help if you want to be the star of the verbal circus that conversation has become.
                   1. You don't learn anything while you're talking.
                   2. Say something nice or say nothing.
                   3. Do not talk about your neighbors.
                   4. Don't talk when you're being interrupted.
                   5. Never argue with a fool.
         These keep me quiet most of the time.
         However, staying quiet is not the purpose of conversation. While I have expressed my opinions on the subject, I haven't given you any advice on how to do it right — I can't. All I can say is that it is essential. Read books, take lessons, observe examples (both good and bad), and practice with a purpose. Informal conversation situations are where you will most often make your first impression — good or bad.

“Blessed is the man who having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.”

-- George Eliot                       

The series:
         "Read Voraciously" 
         "Listen Intently" 
         "Write Well" 
         "Speak Well - Public Speaking" 
         ”Speak Well – Conversation”
         "Love Mathematics" 

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