Pain in Peace

I am ready to die
Which is something I thought would be filled with sadness
But it's not
I am only sad because the people around me don't want me to die

Staying alive for someone else is hard work
Death has come to feel like going home
So please let me go home
I am not sad for leaving I am sad for staying

I'm stuck in a cycle of hurting myself
Not enough to die
Don't want to disappoint
But enough to feel something

I have made peace that my life wasn't what I wanted
And I know there is no fixing it
I am an unlovable nothing
And that is okay

Of course my family and friends love me
But no one has ever seen all of me and stayed
And I'm finally understanding why
I am not meant to be here

Please let me go