The Aliens Finally Mow the Lawn

         Sam Adams told his wife, Maria Lee one morning while having coffee and looking over at the neighbors who had moved in a few months before.

         “There is something odd about our new neighbors. They are foreigners, speak a weird language, and are standoffish, and unfriendly. But what I wonder about is when will our new neighbors ever mow their lawn. I wonder if I should talk to them?”

         Maria said,

         “Perhaps but be careful. You know these days; people are quick to react by pulling out a gun and I would hate to see you go out that way. Perhaps if you went with Jake Lee, the HOA president you might be able to talk some sense into them. But they seem perhaps to be part of that Q cult we have been hearing about. Lots of that around town.”

         Sam went over to his good friend’s house, Jake Lee, the president of the HOA and the longest tenant in their suburban community in Arlington County just outside of DC. Jake Lee had seen a lot of strange people come and go and thought that house was perhaps cursed as it was 666 – the number of the beast. Jake Lee was a big believer in the end times and saw signs of the coming apocalypse everywhere. And he was a secret Q believer as well.

         They knocked on the door.

         The owner is a strange-looking man wearing a dated fashion suit with a bow tie. He is of indeterminate age and has a pan-ethnic look, could pass for almost any ethnic group, but looked vaguely not quite human.

The man said,

“Can I help you, gentlemen?”

         Jake Lee said,

“I am the HOA president, and this is Sam, your neighbor.

         The man responded in his strange accent,

         “I am aware of who you are and what the HOA is. But what do you want? I am kind of busy you see.”

          “We just wanted to point out to you that according to the HOA convents, you need to mow your lawn regularly. It is quite unkept attracts rats and other vermin and makes the neighborhood look shabby. We can help you if you want.”

         “Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I had no idea that mowing a lawn was the custom in your land. I will attend to it tonight. Now if you will excuse me, I have things to do.”

         That night, Sam woke up and looked out at the neighbor’s lawn. The lawn was mowed, clipped down to almost nothing but green stubble, but there was a big hole in the ground where the house used to be.

         Sam went to Jake’s and surveyed the property. .

         “We had to leave. Family emergency back home. We had to go back to Sirius, our home world. We took care of the lawn. Hope it is okay. You are okay for an earthling. “

         Jake said,

         “I knew that there was something strange about those people. Let’s alert the media.”

         Sam said,

         “Let's not. No one will believe us but let’s call the police to file a report.”

         Jake Lee went online, and the next day hundreds of curious people showed up to look at the site. Scientists closed down the community declaring it a national security zone and interrogated everyone about their alien neighbors.


When will our new neighbors ever mow their lawns?
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