Officer Bill E Club

Officer Bill E Club
By Shadowgate
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Officer Bill Club was driving down the street on Saturday at 2PM. He pulled up by the sidewalk of a neighborhood park. He saw a girl with an IPOD.
At first, he asked her name, age, address, and the school she goes to.
Name Clara Tartan
Age 12
Address 12233 Howser Street Houston TX 77077
Duff McKeagan Middle School
The girl's mother came up and identified herself as Sonia Tartan. Officer Club told her that her daughter fit the description of a juvenile shoplifter seen in the area. Sonia asked, "when did the shoplifting take place officer?"
Officer Club answered, "about an hour ago at Kohls which is two blocks away."
The girl's mother said, "my daughter's been with me the whole time."
Officer Club said "I believe you. Oh, but I was wondering what's on your IPOD?"
Clara answered "Eminem."
The officer told Clara and her mother that the State of TX would soon be cracking down on juveniles who listen to rap and rock music. Sonia said she heard of no such news. Officer Club knew that was not only a lie but there had been no shoplifting incident at Kohls reported that day.
Officer Club looked around and saw there were no eyewitnesses. He pulled a gun from his belt that was not his service issued gun and he shot Sonia and Clara dead.
After that he hopped into his car and sped off.
He enjoyed using a mother and her daughter for target practice.
Allowishus and Johnny Harris were ready to kick off Friday night. However, Officer Club just got on duty for the night shift from 10-6AM.
At 10:15 he was on patrol, and he saw two men coming out of a McDonalds. One of them had a Megadeth T-shirt on and the other had a Gwar T-shirt on.
Officer Club pulled up and said, "excuse me I need to talk to both of you." They both gave the officer dirty looks.
The rogue officer told both men to step up against his car and empty their pockets.
Johnny yelled "what for, what are you accusing us of?"
Officer Club told them "you both look like you're on drugs" and that was complete bullshit.
Officer Club went on to say "I'm searching you both for drugs and if I have to hold you both and wait for a judge to issue a warrant, I can do that. No matter what I'm searching you for fucking drugs."
Allowishus said "Goddamn it!"
After searching both men Officer Club found Vicodin on Johnny but nothing on Allowishus.
Officer Club stated with confidence "I knew I'd find drugs on at least one of you."
Johnny yelled "they're prescription drugs Goddamn it!"
Officer Club said, "that's it I'm going to handle both of you."
Officer Club pulled out his knight stick and beat both. Allowishus went to the ER and Johnny was pronounced dead at the scene. The McDonalds manager was an illegal immigrant and didn't dare make a claim against the police officer. The other employees were angry black employees who didn't give a fuck. There's no White Lives Matter group.
Allowishus spent 10 months in the hospital. When he got out Officer Club ran him off the road with his sirens blaring. Officer Club truly had a reputation of being a mean son of a bitch on duty.
"I'm Officer Bill Club and I was disgusted with a rock star named Rockwell Starr."
Rockwell Starr was giving a performance for the benefit of his neighborhood. Officer Club hated that. Officer Club wanted the church ministers to make laws and he cared only for what he wanted the law to be and not what it might be.
On a Friday night he broke up that concert. He beat Rockwell Starr so badly he had to spend 10 months in the hospital. Rockwell's parents were afraid to sue over police brutality.
They feared Officer Club. They didn't want the media attention. All their neighbors said their son deserved it. To say the least they now hated most of their neighbors and wanted to kill them.
Time went on. Rockwell did heal in 10 months, but he never trusted cops after that beating.
Then again, he never wanted to see another police officer again after that beating. He figured if he got assaulted or mugged, he wouldn't call 911 because the police were just as bad as the thugs.
He felt that way more than ever after he got out of the hospital and Officer Club beat him down twice.
The Local 6:00 News comes on in Houston TX.
"Good evening I'm Vanessa Wilcox and I'm reporting live from Houston Channel 7 with your local news. Controversial Houston Police Officer Bill E. Club is accused of crimes that are unbelievable. He stands accused of beating three men severely and one of whom died. He is also accused of shooting to death a mother and her 12-year-old daughter. The alleged motives he stands accused of are even more shocking."
Terry Tartan is seen at a microphone.
"My name is Terry Tartan. My wife and daughter were both shot to death at our neighborhood park. Luckily there was an eyewitness to their murders. That eyewitness hid in a bush. I am in shock to hear that the killer was a police officer and the reason he shot them both was because my daughter was listening to Eminem. I want to hear Officer Bill Club come forward and testify of his whereabouts on Saturday February 26. Furthermore, I'm outraged to hear that he's up for a promotion to police chief."

(Back to Vanessa Wilcox.)

"Mister Tartan is not the only grieving parent out there. Shauna Harris is the mother of Allowishus Harris and Johnny Harris. Officer Club is accused of beating both men on March 5, Friday night. Johnny Harris died at the scene. The mother of the two Shauna Harris had this to say."

"My name is Shauna Harris and I'm a little old lady who says fuck the police."

Shauna flips off the camera.

Back in the news studio Max Claimer, head news reporter states "that is one angry old lady to be flipping off a camera."

His partner John Harmon said, "this is unbelievable that a police officer would kill a 12-year-old girl and her mother because the 12-year-old girl was listening to Eminem."
Max said, "oh and people thought the old PMRC was bad."

Max went on to say, "plus he stands accused of beating three other men severely and one of whom died."

John added "the TX State Attorney General's Office has stepped in. They are investigating these shocking allegations."

Max took a deep breath and said "this is going to be a huge case. It's already getting national attention."

John said, "this will go down in history and I truly hope this guy does not get promoted to chief."

Officer Bill E. Club had the day off. He stopped at Denny's for a Grand Slam. After that he drove up to a construction site. When he arrived, he was greeted by his friends Jim Hopper and Raymond Harmon. When Bill got out of his car Jim and Raymond rushed over there with big smiles on their faces.
Officer Club shook hands with his two friends both of whom were members of the Ku Klux Klan. Jim yelled "fuck yeah Bill is going to be the new fucking police chief in Houston Texas."
Bill replied, "you're Goddamn right."
After Officer Club sat down to have a beer with his friends he said "I've made this city a better place. It gives me a fucking headache to hear the parents of the punk s I dealt with on the news screaming police brutality and murder."
Raymond spoke up "hey maybe if that mother hadn't allowed her daughter to listen to Eminem, they'd both still be alive."
Jim spat his tobacco and said, "that father should have taken that Eminem music away and beat his 12-year-old daughter's ass for listening to it in the first place."
Bill went on to say, "well fuck him, he let his daughter listen to un-Christian music I don't approve of so I'm not sorry I killed his wife and daughter."
Jim and Raymond cheered.
Bill said, "I'm the law period." He then exhaled and said he wanted ice cream. He walked across the street and unfortunately the concrete was slippery from water and oil. He slipped and fell into a sewer that was full of alligators.
Jim and Raymond yelled "shit" at the same time, and they rushed over to the manhole.
Jim yelled "there are fucking allegators loose in the sewer!"
Raymond yelled "Goddamn it I better call 911."
Jim said, "I should get a latter quick."
Raymond yelled down the manhole "are you okay?"
Bill yelled up "oh no I can't feel my legs!"
Raymond said, "I'm calling 911 right now."
Jim said, "Raymond is going to call 911."
Bill said, "can you hear me?"
Jim answered, "yes I can hear you."
Bill said, "I think that a rat just crawled over me."
Jim asked, "did he bite you?"
Bill answered "no."
Jim said "good."
Soon Bill said, "I feel something bigger crawling on me."
Then a ton of screaming was heard.
Jim yelled "oh my God Bill!"
The screaming from down the manhole was heard louder. Richard got off the phone with 911 and yelled "what the fuck is going on?"
Jim said, "Bill is screaming from down there."
Richard got a flashlight 10 seconds later after the screaming stopped.
Richard shined the flashlight down the manhole and all he saw was blood floating in filthy sewer water.

The End