I would like to inform you that the file that had been sent to you is a ludicrous statement coming from a lunatic halfway across the world. Reading that file will make you a threat to the Happy Page. He won't be happy after hearing about this.
If you are reading this file, I'll be dead before morning. As mentioned before, He won't be happy.
How will I break the news to Him?
Thank you for reading this, and if you can, send help. We're at...
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