Attention

Attention (300w)

There comes a time in everyone’s life when adventure knocks. If you don’t pay attention, you’ll miss it. Peter was undoubtedly not paying attention. But adventure wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

On a Sunday in June, during Peter’s afternoon nap, a loud knocking came at the door. He bumbled downstairs to answer it, but before he reached the door, a green envelope whipped through the letterbox, landing at his feet.

Written in gold ink upon the face of the envelope were the words “F.A.O. Peter Primley, from A.D. Venture Inc.”

‘Spam,' said Peter. He binned the envelope and returned to bed.

As he was dozing, a curious thing happened. The recently binned envelope started moving of its own accord. It contorted and crinkled into a shape reminiscent of an arachnid. It climbed out of the bin and crept through the house, ascending the stairs to Peter’s bedroom.

The envelope scaled his nightstand, and upon reaching the top, it reshaped itself, crinkling into the silhouette of a person holding a speaking-trumpet.

‘ATTENTION.’

Peter bolted upright.

‘I have a message for you,’ said the envelope, pacing atop the nightstand. ‘On account of your laziness, lack of motivation, and otherwise directionless – not to mention pathetic – life, you’ve been selected for an adventure, for your benefit.’

‘Um,’ said Peter, convinced this was an offensive dream.

‘Not a dream,’ said the envelope. ‘Pinching yourself won’t do you no good.’ It motioned as if it were checking the time. ‘You’ve two minutes to gather essentials before we leave!’

‘OK,’ said Peter. He remained under the impression it was all a dream. ‘How do we get to where we’re going?’

‘First - this is the good bit - you need to flush yourself down the toilet.’

‘Oh.’

Unfortunately for Peter it wasn’t a dream.