A Love Story Ends With A Train Wreck

PART 1

Lilly Hansen is the girl of my dreams. She's an actor. I think she has what it takes. From what I've seen, She's got the talent for sure! But she also has the looks.
Something about her just stuns me, you know? Have you ever felt that way about someone?
I just love the way her feathered-black hair has strands of brown that turn into a gleaming umber when the light hits it right. And her beautiful eyes! Her big eyes contain a universe of bronze that perfectly complement her pale skin. Pretty, but perfectly flawed. And her hands are slender, young, and delicate. I really like her hands.
I also admire the confidence she radiates. She comes off as this person who is good at their career and damn well knows it. She works a six to two AM job while taking up acting gigs during the day. I honestly respect the hustle. It just makes me like her even more.

I first Met Lilly on July 9th, 2023. I was at this Tavern downtown with my dad.
It was her hands that I noticed first. She was just giving us drinks, and she came into my view. I was instantly smitten. The way she looked down at me while she was pouring. The corners of her cheeks raised and formed the most attractive smile I have ever seen. She spoke in such a clear, assured voice. I could listen to her words for hours.
I spent the rest of that evening with my eyes darting on and off my dad, trying to get another look at her working the bar. When it was time to pay she came by our table again. It was my dad who struck up the conversation with her. He noticed a script hanging out of her apron.
"Yeah! It's a script for this film I'm doing." She said, her cheeks blushing.
My dad praised her and brought up how theaters are obsolete nowadays, and how everything is on the internet. Luckily, he also asked her "What's it called?
Lilly blushed again. "Oh! It's called Land of Strangers" She replied clearly.
"Wow! And are you the main? Or a side character?" My dad asked.
That damn smile appeared on her face again. " Yes! I'm the main character." She said proudly.
"wow! Hey, you're on your way kid!" my dad teased.
"That's awesome!" I said, giving her my best smile.
"Thanks, guys!" she said, handing us our receipt.
I managed to get a look at her nametag on our way out of the building. It was so easy to remember, because she is named after my favorite flower. "Lilly".


That night, I lied in bed looking for any sort of work she had on the internet. I was able to find her full name by searching the film she was currently working on. Luckily there was already a trailer out on Youtube. I was surprisingly intrigued by the teaser. It was a story about this woman cop working undercover in a heist crew, and she has to figure out how to get the mob boss out in the open without giving away her secret. The few lines I heard her deliver were spot on! And She looked absolutely beautiful in the trailer. Her pale skin, her black-umber hair, her big eyes. It's like she was built for cinema.
When I saw her full name, I felt my heart jump. "Lilly Hansen". I immediately searched her name on google. And just like that, I found her Instagram. She has close to a thousand followers and has about two hundred posts. But unfortunately, her profile is private. I debated requesting a follow, but if I did she would see my profile and recognize me. I would look like a stalker. I decided to switch to my burner account and request a follow there.

She's been on my mind twenty-four-seven. All I want to do is just talk to her, have a conversation. But I'm too damn shy. I've tried asking my dad if he wanted to go back to that Tavern again.
"Not in the mood for burgers." He would grumble at me.
I just want to talk to her and get to know her. I want to ask her about the film she's working on. What the production is like, and what kind of gear are they using. I want to ask about her craft. What kinds of methods she uses to get into character, and where her headspace goes?
A conversation, to talk and connect with someone. That's all I want, I just want to get her alone.
How do I approach her? I don't get it. How do I do it? In this modern era, walking up to someone and asking for their number is considered wrong. Because from their perspective, you're just some random stranger. You could have the best intentions, but if you're someone who is butt-ugly,
the people on Instagram and Tic tok would out you as a creep, and a perv. I just don't think the world works that way anymore. How is anyone supposed to meet anyone outside of school or work? With the internet being available, I'm supposedly connected to everyone, everywhere. But why do I always feel so alone? For me, a text is not enough, a username is not enough, a swipe right is not enough, a picture is not enough. So how? How am I supposed to talk to this girl that I've fallen in love with?


I have a plan. I'm gonna buck up and talk to her, but I'm gonna do it in the most natural, unforced way possible. The first step of the plan: I'm gonna head to the Tavern she works at a few hours before it closes and wait out the other customers. Hopefully, by closing time, The Tavern would be almost empty. The next step is getting her attention. When she's close enough I'll ask her about the film she's working on.
Wait, That might be too direct. Maybe I'll pretend I found the trailer of her film while I was "browsing" my phone, and I'll act all surprised and say
"Hey, is this you?" or something like that. If all goes well, maybe I can walk out of that Tavern with her number. I can ask her if she wants to meet up again and get coffee.
We can talk about the movies she likes, and the movies I like. I can ask her all these burning questions I have about acting, and film production. And then after that, we can go see a bad movie and make fun of it together. Or maybe she would like the movie, and I would tease her for liking it. Just some cute shit like that.


PART 2

Nicky Grey turned the corner off Main street and onto a vacant road. He pulled up to a curb next to a Tavern, just a few feet away from the entrance. From his position, Nick was able to see into the Tavern's windows. Inside, working the bar in the back, was the girl of his dreams. Lilly Hansen is working the late shift. She's wearing a yellow dress shirt and a black apron. The sight of her made Nick feel jubilant, almost euphoric. The light in the tavern is a brilliant tungsten that brought out the umber streaks in her feathered black hair. It draped above her shoulders and was delicately brushing along her cheeks and neck as she moved about. When she leaned over to clean a table, Nick got a good look at her face. The hair on his arms instantly raised. She was pale and beautiful. Her big golden-bronze eyes looked downwards, focusing on the task at hand. When she walked away, Nick was bewitched by the way she moved, her petite, slender hips swaying, and dropping out of sight as she returned behind the bar.
Tonight, Nick knew what he had to do. He was going to talk to her, in the most natural, unforced way possible. Nick turned to see his dull pasty face in the mirror. He checked the depression of his eyelids for any debris, his inky black eyes moving side to side. Nick looked at himself with slight discomfort. His skin felt waxy, and his curly hair was slick with grease. He had also shaved that morning, but a stubborn stubble made itself known. Nick had also made sure not to eat too much before he left, but his stomach felt oddly bloated, even after the fifteen-minute drive from his home.
On the bright side, Nick was proud of his choice of outfit. He was wearing his favorite gray sweater, topped with his expensive black bomber jacket, and black joggers. Nick thought he looked good in black. His outfit gave him a boost of confidence for tonight. But would that be enough? He started to debate coming back another night.
Maybe this is a bad idea. the thought appeared in his head. A passing train blared somewhere behind him, interrupting his mind.
His confidence was draining every second he spent in his car. He took another look at Lilly in the tavern.
Come on, she's right there! She's waiting! Nick thought to himself.
The sight of her filled Nick's head with intoxicating fantasies. Fantasies he oh-so wanted to make real.
"Ok." He said aloud. He filled his lungs and let out a strong huff, before hopping out of his car. Tonight, Nick was going to do it. Tonight he was going to talk to a girl.


Nick pushed open the Tavern doors with fiery confidence, causing the doors to loudly crack against their hinges.
"Easy!" a waiter yelped at him. "These doors are old."
Nick's confidence quickly smothered "Sorry." he replied Sheepishly. His eyes darted towards the bar. Lilly hadn't noticed him.
"For how many?" the waiter asked, his eyes looking down at the terminal.
"Oh uhh, just me," Nick said. "Can I sit at the bar?"
"Yeah, it's all yours." The waiter said, still not looking at him.
Nick inspected the people in the Tavern. It didn't look too busy for a Sunday night, but Lilly would still be too occupied for a chat. Nick moved deeper into the tavern. He put his hands in his pockets, trying to look nonchalant. He pretended to look over the many framed photos of bands and celebrities on the walls. When he got to the bar, Lilly was nowhere to be found. Nick sat on the stool and glanced around, looking for her.
"What can I get ya?" A voice startled him. Her Bronze eyes turned him to stone.
Two seconds ticked by before a word left Nick's mouth. "Oh, uhhh, uhhh." His eyes scurried around the bar.
"The menu's right there," Lilly said, pointing at a wooden display, sitting beside him.
"Oh, thanks," he said weakly. His eyes scanned the menu from top to bottom in rapid succession. Nick didn't recognize any of these drinks.
He began to soundlessly panic. Just pick something! You're taking too long! His mind yelled. "I'll have uhh, whisky" He blurted, unsure of his choice.
"Whisky?" she said with her eyebrow raised. "With nothing else, are you sure?"
"Yes," he replied stiffly.
"Ok, coming right up. It's strong stuff, be sure to pace yourself."
"I like it strong," Nick said, sounding more lame than confident.
Lilly walked away to the collection of alcohol bottles. Her yellow dress shirt and apron outlined her slender body. Nick looked closely, as he watched her elegant hands pick up the alcohol bottle and pour.
Her hair was black, but when she turned, Nick saw the umber in her hair ablaze as she stepped into the tungsten light. Time slowed for Nick, a smile grew on Lilly's face as she got closer. Nick could stare at that smile for hours.
"Here you go!" Lilly said, putting the drink in front of him. "Be sure to go slow ok."
"Yeah, I will," Nick replied, watching her walk away.
Nick was finally released from his stone curse. He remembered the plan, he looked up to find the clock hanging above the bar. Ten-fifteen, the clock read. This Tavern closes at eleven-thirty. Nick just needs to bide his time and wait for the bar to empty.
For the next thirty minutes, Nick sat at the bar taking quick glances at Lilly whenever she wasn't looking. He occasionally tried sipping his drink, but the harsh flavor made his face twist, and his head feel dizzy. After ten minutes, a waiter came by and asked if he wanted a refill. Nick, being the pushover that he is, said yes. Another ten minutes went by, the drinks started to go down easier. He started to feel more relaxed, and his breathing got heavier. He looked up at the bar clock, Eleven-oh-five. The bar was starting to empty. The time to make a move was approaching. Nick heard the doors of the bar swing open.
"Good evening sir! The kitchen is closed, but the bar is still open." A waiter said.
"Oh that's fine," a man's voice replied. "I just wanted to grab a drink at the bar."
Nick turned to see who entered. He was a slightly older guy, maybe a few years older than Nick. He's wearing a business casual outfit, a dark blue blazer, and pants, with a white dress shirt. Nick watched him scratch his beard as he approached the bar.
"Evening! " the man said, smiling at Nick.
Nick didn't reply, He didn't like the look of him.
It was time to put the plan into action, Nick looked around the bar for Lilly. He spotted her at the other end, she was coming in his direction.
His mind blanked. "What do I say? What do I say!?" Lilly passed without Nick saying a word.
"Evening, Jon, How was work?" Lilly asked, wiping a counter.
"Eh, boring," Jon replied, putting away his phone.
Nick spied on the interaction.
"Nothing new then." Lilly chuckled. "Your usual tonight?'
Jon gave a suave smile. "You know it."
Lilly got to work behind the bar. Nick started to feel his whole world crumbling around him.
Do they know each other? How long have they been talking? Fuck, fuck, fuck, I hate this. Nick thought. Maybe they're just acquaintances, maybe they just met. He was bargaining.
"So Amy, how's that movie you're working on?" Jon asked.
Nick perked up in his seat, taken aback by the question. He saw a cute grin appear on Lilly's face.
"It's not a movie," Lilly corrected. "It's a short film." She said, giving him his drink.
"Well, how is your short film going?" Jon said with a smile. He had her full attention.
Lilly smiled "Good! It's going great, we actually wrapped today."
"Hey, that's awesome! When are they gonna show it?"
"Oh, not for a while," Lilly replied. "The director has to go through the editing process, and then they have to submit the film, so maybe not for another month. But it's gonna be shown at a film festival sometime in August."
"August! Hell yeah, that's great." Jon said. "You should let me know when the screening is, I'd love to see it."
"Sure! When I get the date I'll let you know!" Lilly said, gleaming. "I gotta get back to work, I can talk in a bit."
That conversation pierced Nick through the heart. Jon did everything Nick wanted to do. He took another sip of his drink, he didn't mind the taste anymore. He sat at the bar, his body steeped with alcohol, his head dizzy, and his heart aching.


Of course, she has someone, Nick thought. I'm a goddamn fool, how could I even think I have a chance with someone like her, when there are guys like him out there. Look at him. His outfit,
his watch, his posture, his fucking beard. He probably has a nice job too; with a fast car. I hate him, I hate his fucking guts... I need to pee.
Nick wobbled out of his seat and shambled his way to the bathroom. He got drunker than he ever intended.

The door of the bathroom opened with a slam as Nick entered. He re-adjusted his focus to find what is where in the room. The ceiling was gyrating, The stalls were wavering, and the floor was rolling beneath his feet. Watching the room move made Nick feel nauseous, he had to pause at the sink to prevent any alcohol from spilling out. He looked up to find familiar dark eyes staring back at him. His face felt numb and his eyes were sagging.
Maybe they really did just meet, you know? He wondered. Or maybe he's like a brother, or cousin, or friend, or something, they didn't look that close. And he just asked to hang out, there's nothing wrong with just hanging out right?... God, am I being an idiot? Nick left the sink and shuffled his way to a stall. A quiet wet stream whispered in the empty bathroom.
You are a fucking idiot, Nick thought. Fuck her! I hate her. I hate her stupid face, her dumb hair, her annoying voice. She's not even that good! How could I be so stupid? Fucking idiot, fucking, fucking, stupid fucking, fucking dumbass.
Nick looked down and realized he had finished his business seconds ago. He went back to the sink to wash his hands.
I don't mean that. I shouldn't be thinking that way. Lilly seems like a good person. No, a really good person. And she's really nice. Just because she has someone else, doesn't mean I can't be friends with her. He bargained. Nick finished at the sink and stared hard at himself in the mirror.
Look at you, you pasty bastard. You're not good enough for anyone. Lilly would never be friends with a shit like you. You should just leave, go home and sulk, it's what you're good at.
Nick let out a heartbroken sigh and gave the air dryer a lazy slap. The hot warm air blasted the room with white noise.
Maybe it's for the best. It's not like I ever had a chance in the first place. And honestly, what has changed? rejected again, what else is new? She was never in my life to begin with, and she's not gonna be in my life now. My life will stay the same, and I'm gonna be ok with that.
The air dryer finished, and the bathroom was silent. Nick left the room feeling better than when he had entered.

The bar was almost empty. The waiters and waitresses were stacking chairs onto tables.
His head was still spinning, and Nick fumbled his way to a nearby table. He got a direct view of Lilly and Jon at the bar.
She was googling him. Their faces close, a cute smile on Amy, leaning over on the bar, her bronze eyes meeting his, as she sipped on a drink.
Nick felt a pit in his chest. His heart was sinking into his stomach. He felt as if he got kicked in the chest, and Lilly was the culprit.
Their conversation was barely audible, but Nick could make it out.
"What are you doing after this?" Lilly asked.
A smug grin formed on Jon's face. "Well right now, I'm talking to you. Maybe after this we could, I don't know, keep talking?"
Lilly blushed. "Ohhh ok, we close in a few, let me finish my shift and we can leave together. Did you bring your car?"
Jon nodded. "I'll wait here till you're done."
"Sweet, watch my drink for me," Lilly said, walking away.

Nick, couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to leave but was too inebriated to get up. He sat at his table, in a drunken stupor. Watching the love of his life flirt with some rich douchebag. He looked at him with disdain. Completely abhorrent to this person's existence. Nick thought about all the dirt this guy probably has.
From Nick's perspective, He could only see the side of his face, just outside of Jon's peripherals.
But Nick could see him clearly. Nick watched, as Jon, took a bottle of pills out of his pocket and drop a single pellet into Lilly's drink. Nick watched the pellet bubble and churn, and dissipate into the drink.
That motherfucker, Nick thought. I knew it! I fucking knew this guy was a scumbag.
Nick started fuming. He didn't like the look of this guy the second he walked into the bar. He thought about running up to him and breaking his pearly white teeth. But he didn't, he couldn't. Nick felt his heart racing, but he couldn't figure out what his brain was telling him. Is it fear or anger he's feeling? He's never had to confront someone like this before. He started to second-guess himself. He was after all, really drunk. Was that pills he really saw? Did Jon put something in his drink or Lilly's?
I should say something right? Nick thought. But what if I'm wrong? What if I'm wrong about what I saw, and I embarrass myself even more in front of Amy?
Nick was too tangled in his thoughts to realize that Lilly had come back, and was finishing her drink. Shit, I should do something right? I should say something!
Nick didn't, he sat and watched Jon and Lilly continue to converse. His anxiety was getting the best of him. Before he knew it, Lilly and Jon were getting up to leave the bar, and making their way to the door.
No! I need to stop them, He's going to hurt her! Nick thought, shambling out of his chair.
He quickly made his way to the door, patting his pockets for his car keys.
A waitress stepped in front of him, cutting him off from the door "I hope you're not planning on driving sir!" She exclaimed.
Nick tried to explain the situation, but the alcohol froze his tongue. "No! She's been pilled in the drink!"
"What!?" The waitress recoiled. "Ok, you are in no shape to drive. Give me your keys, we're gonna call you a cab." "No! Lilly's trouble." Nick slurred, shoving his way past the waitress, and out the door.



The cold air bit into Nick's numb face. His head spun left to right looking for Lilly. He spotted her a few feet away from the entrance. The back of her feathered black hair disappeared into Jon's car.
Nick rushed to his car, fumbling with his keys.
"Sir you are in no condition to drive, You might kill someone!" The waitress shouted, following after him.
Nick ignored her. He continued to get into his car. Adrenaline was pumping in his veins, he didn't care if he killed someone, at that moment all he thought about was saving Lilly. He shoved the key into the ignition.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. The waitress was at his window. "Sir, please get out of the car."
Nick put the car in drive and sped off, he watched his rearview mirror and saw the woman get smaller and smaller as he floored the gas pedal.

When you're in an inebriated state like this, your focus is all over the place. Your face and body are numb. The whole world feels numb. You're not processing information like you do when you're sober.
Nick was too focused on his rearview mirror to notice, Jon, was stopped at a train crossing, with the gates already lowered, and a train approaching. By the time Nick, put his eyes back on the road, it was already too late. There was no time to stop. Nick's car collided with the rear end of Jon's car. Metal slammed against metal, and a great crunch echoed throughout the empty street. The force of Nick's vehicle pushed Jon's car onto the tracks.
Nick fell out of his car onto the hard pavement. Blood gushing out the front of his nose.
He fumbled to get his legs underneath him. "Holy shit, Lilly, I'm sorry!" He shouted, falling on his hands, moving towards the totaled car. his cries were overpowered by the train's horn.
A loud screech sliced the air, as the conductor pulled on the brakes. There was not enough space for the train to fully stop. The train plowed into the front passenger side of the car, sending the vehicle flying, spinning off the tracks, just barely missing Nick. The vehicle landed adjacent to him.
The car's horn pierced the air, as Jon's head lay on the wheel. Nick saw Lilly, her head resting against the shattered passenger side window. Her pale pretty face was covered in blood and glass. Her feathered black hair, sticking to her face, covering her eyes. Patches of blood stained her bright yellow shirt. Even then, despite what just happened. Nick still thought she looked, absolutely beautiful.