DARKNESS WITHIN THE SUN

A rhythmic brush of the pine tree on the window where the sun is trying its best to peek through and spread its golden rays inside the small and dark room. A freckled boy is asleep on the single queen size bed, with sweat dotting his pale face. The freckled boy groans and wakes up with a pounding headache. He scrunches his eyes shut, his bangs plastered on his forehead, hoping for the headache to go away, with the closed eyes he listens to the liveliness in the dorm through the amount of noise that is coming from outside..

The boy brings the back of his hand to rest his forehead, sheltering his eyes from the glimpse of sunlight that attacks his face. ‘Maybe I'm coming down with something’ he sighs.



he side gaze toward the window and squints his eyes, the sudden burst of sunlight piercing his vision like a spear to the air. He tiredly tries to swing his body into sitting position and soon regrets his action as a wave of dizziness hits him. He falls back in bed with a deep and guttural groan as his action sends a spark of pain and dizziness to his temple as soon as he hits the pillow. The action made him two times more tired and breathless.
he lays there on the verge of dozing off to the land of unconsciousness, when a shrieky noise enters the room muffled by the door but still loud enough to ring in his ear, without opening his eyes the freckled boy knew it was Han Jisung and not just normal Han Jisung but a Han Jisung with a cup of coffee in the freaking morning for him to have that extra bounce and energy in his steps like a toddler high on the sugar rush. The freckled boy wants to bury himself in the cover that he discarded earlier, his face scrunched up in a painful expression as Han starts pounding thunder on his bedroom door, screaming rather louder than necessary to wake his sleeping members up.
“oii Felix get up bro we have practice in half hour. Channie hyung and Minho hyung are making us breakfast. come down before there is nothing left”.

He didn’t even waits for Felix’s reply or to even see, if the sleeping freckled boy woke up from his slumber or not, before running off to rapt his fist on the door next to his,
“ poor makane”. Murmurs Felix in a breathy soundless voice.

Just then he hears, thumping of the pillow falling on the ground. A very sleepy and very irritated muffled voice screaming ‘get off’ and ‘get lost’ followed by bouts of giggle.

Time blurs for Felix and he again begrudgingly tries to wake up feeling not as nauseated or dizzy that he’ll topple over thin air, thinking this is the best he could hope for at this moment and begins to prepare for the day and struts toward the bathroom before someone else hogs it. he mentally shakes his head as he thinks of this as a survival instinct that comes to you when you live with eight boys in a dorm with only two bathrooms to share. He skipped most of his skincare routine which he use to do rigorously on every day like a dedicated priest preaching in his temple, instead he slumped against the wash basin as dizzy spell his him. he sat on top of the toilet seat head hung low till his sternum when he heard someone banging the door and asking him to come out, Felix washes his face, composes himself enough to fool his hyungs not to see right through him and start worrying like mother hens that all of his hyungs are, before he knew it, he was closing his bedroom door behind himself in haze, changing into the practice sweatpants and long sleeve black hoodie to keep the chills away all the while feeling like the ground beneath him was moving on its own accord.

“I should ask Channie hyung for some medicine” he grumbles. sitting on his bed, supporting his head with his fist and massaging his temple limply.

The sound coming from the dining area alerts Felix of everyone's presence. Deciding that he should head out and join them for breakfast even though the mention of food makes him feel butterflies in his stomach but not at all in a good way. he clasps a hand on his face as his legs lead him out of his room. Stepping down the stairs he isn't surprised to see almost everyone is at the table with Channie hyung and Minho hyung near the stove while everyone else minus the makane and himself, stuffing their mouths with whatever edibles they could get their hands on from the table.
Felix feels a bout of nausea surging up inside him like the mountain before the eruption and clasps his hand on his mouth subtly.
Noticing the new arrival at the table, Chan perks up from where he is stacking a golden omelet on the toast with some side dish and grilled meat, preparing another plate of breakfast for the freckled boy, crescent moon eyes with dimpled smiles ever present.

“good morning sunshine”. He draws the last syllable.

Felix flushes red at the nickname, knowing he’ll never get used to the older calling him with such an endearment and Lix knew he couldn't resist the charm of his boyfriend so he smiles like the sunshine his lover knew him as.

Channie rounds the table and comes up to Felix, setting his plate in front of him and dragging him to sit on the chair next to him but not before giving him a chaste kiss on the lip, which earns them many groans and fake gagging noise from around the table. Chan laughs and makes funny faces at them for their antics and proceeds to enjoy his meal next to his lover.

They all are busy wolfing down their food as Chan and Minho are discussing their schedule for the day. Felix zones out of the conversation going around the table, one look at his plate makes him feel green to his gills, he couldn’t help but subtly push his shirt sleeves over his extra sensitive nose and hand to his mouth afraid his stomach would rebel him without any notice, he even feels guilty about not wanting to eat the food that his boyfriend and hyung made with so much efforts.
Hyunjin sitting on the opposite left to him realizes that Felix doesn't look too well, a little pale if he look carefully and also notices how he is pushing his food around and barely eating anything

“ what happened bokkie are you not feeling well?” raising his hand to touch his forehead which Felix dismisses eagerly,
“I'm fine no need to worry” he denies too eagerly to please his member with his reply, trying to send the other the best smile he could muster which rather came off as forced stuffy grim.

This caught the attention of everyone present at the table. Chan dropped his conversation with Minho and immediately shifted his attention to Felix reaching out to check his temperature before he could sway him away or block him, with a furrowed brow “are okay baby? You seem a little warm” he asked.

Felix starts to squirm under all the attention “ ahhh umm I'm okay.. I'm alright with just a little headache and I don't really feel like eating, no need to worry though. “

Seungmin from his place comments `` you know you look a lot pale right, if you are coming down with something it's better tell us and rest up rather than faking being okay.”
“Forever as blunt as he is with his statement, I agree with him Lixie,” Minho quipped.

Han offers a bottle of water to Chan, Felix thanks them both for their concern but tells them that he feels fine and not to worry. He drinks the water hesitantly that Chan places in his hands uncapped, Chan strokes the hair at the boy’s nape with concern in his eyes, coaxing him to drink or eat something. He picks up a spoon full of soup grimacing at it like its poison unknown to the cautious eyes examining him closely, who doubts that the freckled boy is feeling anything but fine as he claims to be but lets it slide.

Felix tries to show everyone that he is fine and gulps few spoonful of soup, however that seems to be the wrong move as his stomach doesn't seems to agree with him and as he swallowed his breakfast, it came right back up, lix all but ran to the toilet with a hand clamped tightly to his face, his action worries everyone at the table, Chan gets up soon after Felix and finds the younger sitting hunched over the toilet and emptying his stomach content.

Chan pats his back and gets the hair out of his clammy face as his lover retches his inside out.
“Lixie baby I think it's best for you to stay at home today and rest up, you might be coming down with a flu “
Minho comes up from behind with water bottle and a towel at toe, handing them to Chan to help his lover, Felix refuses the offer to stay at home.
“ I can go hyungs, I can still practice” to which Chan is quick to shut him down
“ absolutely not, you can’t even keep your food inside and look like you’ll kneel over any movement, we wouldn't want our sunshine getting hurt while practicing because he didn't wanted to rest” and gently wipe his face with the wet towel and helping him brush his teeth and rinse his mouth all the while supporting him up against the basin by his shoulder.
“ I… I can't ! the recording… it's today. PD nim and manager nim will..” lix moans tiredly
“ PD nim and manager nim will understand and I'll tell them that you aren't feeling well.” interrupts Changbin from the doorway as he is entering inside the room.
“ Are you okay hyung? '' Scared Jeongin standing out of the room freshly dressed and ready, meekly asks, worry etched on his innocent face as he has rarely seen the younger aussie sick.
“ Jeongin-ahh let Channie hyung help Lixie and then he’ll rest up and be alright, so don't worry so much okay !” Hyunjin whispers to the boy as he hugs him from behind.
“Felix..” Chan reprimands the younger aussie with the leader's tone for his stubbornness when he sees the younger boy about to oppose again.

“ I know it's an important job for you and because it's such an important task all the more reasons that you should do it when you are at your best, okay?! And we can postpone your recording for later”.
“ But…” Felix weakly tried to argue the leader with trembling lips, although he knew that he was right.
He casts his eye down, feeling guilty for some reason. Maybe because the subconscious part of him blames himself for slowing and dragging his team behind the schedule and not being able to give his best. Felix's mind starts spiraling down. Seeing the guilty and worried expression on the boy, the leader's feature softens as he creases his face and cards his finger in his hair endearingly “ im sure the manager nim will understand and although work is important but nothing is as important than your health baby”.
The leaders looks up to everyone else crowding near the bathroom
“ Everyone else finish your breakfast and get ready fast! manager nim will be here soon to pick us all up! Common hush you all” he shushes them all out.” he commands them all.
“Bye Felix feel well soon” Hyunjin pipes before leaving,
“ yeah we’ll miss you at the practice “ Han says and follows Hyunjin out to the dining area.
“ Get well soon, “ Seungmin says with a small voice.
And they all left the couple in the room to get on with their day.
Felix tries to stand up to change his dress to something comfortable, keyword ‘tries’ as his knees buckles at his attempt and if it wasn't for Chan’s tight hold on him, Felix would have kissed the floor harshly.
“ Lix-ahh “ chan lowers him to the floor as he sees the younger almost toppling over “tell me honestly Felix ,how lightheaded do you feel right now?” the leader asks as he cups Felix's face.
Felix who is still in shock of almost falling down replies truthfully “ it's.. It’s not as bad as the morning but I feel really tired and achy all over, especially my head, it's like it's swimming.”
“ Is that all? You are not hiding anything again are you Felix” all he got for the reply was a nod so Chan picks Felix up in bridal style and takes him to the bed and help changing him into his comfy pajamas and brought him a couple of meds to keep his headache at bay and help him with the nausea. he held the glass to his lips, for him to drink. Soon Felix finds himself under the blanket with the comforter up to his chin. Chan kissed the boy’s head, still looking very concerned and kept caressing and massaging his head till it sent him off to the land of slumber. He smiled when he saw the content look on the younger one. He looks even more younger and innocent when he sleeps like this. It reminds Chan of baby Lucas and he smiles sadly at the memories. He didn't feel like going anywhere but at the side of his sick lover, he knew being the leader of the group had its downside as well and in situations like this it comes to bite him in the ass. He hopes the younger feels better soon as the atmosphere the younger aussie creates with just his presence is missed even if the boy is not around for a mere minute. He leans down and kisses the boy on the lip before getting up and collecting his own dress from Felix’s closet, more than half of his clothes resides in the younger’s wardrobe as the boy loves to wear his extra large hoodies, he confronted Felix once to which the younger blushed frivolously and then replied “ you smell like home Chris, it brings me comfort to know I have your presence with me all the times, it keeps me grounded” Chan’s heart melted to puddles at such a confession that he could never in his life would ever deny or restrict the younger from wearing all his clothes more so ever he even stuffed half of his best comfy hoodies in Felix's closet for him to have easy access to it, all the time (yup your right he’s fucking whipped for his man) he retrieves a simple black pants and a black hoodie, he shakes his head and smiles a little remembering the time the freckled boy told him he looked like a grim reaper always wearing black. He grabs all his items before stepping out into the main hall.
“ Channie hyung how is he, is he asleep?” asked Changbin, who was all dressed and ready to go sitting on the sofa with his phone in hand, looked up as soon as he saw the leader leaving the room with some clothes in hand, not before silently closing the door behind him.
“ he’s fine for now, i gave him the meds I think its the flu or something with the weather changes, I guess his body is not apt to the cold temperature of Korea yet and its nearing winter but yeah if he doesn't get well in next three days then I myself will drag him to the doctor”
“ don't worry a lot, Chan hyung Felix will be okay, he’s strong” he reassures the older.
“ Yeah, I just don't want him to be alone when he is sick like this, you know how clingy and emotional he gets. What if he needs something and I'm not near him to help him“ concern dripping from the leader's tone.
“ It's okay Channie hyung how about you finish half of the recording of your part and finish whatever paperwork you have to seek out then you come back here and I'll handle the recording for the rest of us huh? Good plan according to me”
“ And lets just hope he will still be asleep like a baby, when you’ll come back” Changbin continues seeing a little relief on the leader's face, smiling up to his hyung to lighten his mood.

Everyone in the house knew how protective of his little Lixie the leader was, even before they got into the relationship which was just 1 week after their debut, the protectiveness for the younger aussie came with full force when he came back from his elimination which seemed to be like the last draw to his sanity and patience, he gathered enough courage and confessed to their sunshine one night at the party gathering around the dorm for their debut success. To his utter surprise his feelings were reciprocated and he felt elated, they talked about their fears and homesickness and they bonded over the lack of their own known surroundings, a place they left to come up to a foreign land to chase their dreams.
Chan hyung knew how hard it was to adjust to the a new surround, with different language, culture and no close one to talk to and everything else, Changbin knew they both understood each other at another level sometimes even without words which was as sickening to watch as it was cute. he knew his hyung saw and found a piece of home within the younger aussie, a part of himself that was forever gaping in his heart loomed with gray clouds was filtered with existence of the warm living embodiment of sunshine that reminded the leader of the beaches of Australia and his blinding smiles gives him the warmth that surrounds him whenever he thinks of home, Felix was his home that he craved all his life to belong to.
So he understood the hesitancy of the leader to leave his precious boy behind like this, therefore instead of making fun of the leader for being like this over just a fever, he tried giving him some reassurance.
Smiling tiredly at the rapper , Chan went to change his clothes in his own room.
Changbin watches back disappear to another room before pulling up his phone again.

Minho gets ready soon and hurries everyone else to their respective room to do the same, he enters the kitchen and prepares a platter with a juice box , fruits , some crackers and water bottle along with a napkin pouch and of course a wolf-chan plushie on a plate and silently tiptoes inside the room, he places the plate on the night desk and fixes his attention on sleeping boy who doesn't even flinches or wakes up from the presence of another person in the room, Minho smiles softly eyes full of motherly love and cards his hand in the boys hair.

He would deny till his last breath if anyone ever asked him this, but he always had a soft spot for the freckled teen, maybe it was their elimination that brought them close, maybe it was his sunshine personality and the warmth he gave to Minho when he was at his darkest phase of life. Even when the younger himself was struggling, he always tried to approach him. made sure to always help his hyung and motivate him to continue when he thought of leaving all his dreams behind, even with the language barrier it never stopped the younger from reaching out to Minho to help him hold onto his sanity. It was the nature of the younger to think of everyone else's well-being before himself and provide everyone with the rays of happiness with his smiles. Whatever it may be, Minho just knew that he’ll forever keep the boy close like the precious brother of his.

“ Get well soon pixie “ He placed the wolf-Chan plushie under the cover, near his chin and smiled down at the boy who cutely scrunched up his nose but cuddled closer to the doll. Standing up he drew the curtain preventing the sun rays falling on boys face and disturb his recovery sleep and steps out of the room, catching the eye of the leader and with a nod the leader understood and gave a smile filled with gratitude to the second oldest to which he rolled his eyes and went away, all the while ignoring the huff of laughter from leader behind. They all get ready and stuff themselves inside the van, Chan peeks inside Felix room one last time before leaving seeing as the younger was fast asleep. He closes the door silently and goes to join everyone else in the parking lot.