\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2291860-In-the-Years-of-the-Ages-Act-1-Scene-1
Item Icon
\"Reading Printer Friendly Page Tell A Friend
No ratings.
Rated: E · Fiction · History · #2291860
A section of a Shakespearean-style play I wrote some time ago.
The selection is from my play 'In the Years of the Ages'. Please review in great detail the following selection, regarding form, movement, composition, style and writing skill set, with the emphasis on the writer's ability with imagination, language and development. the following selection is from Act 1 Scene 1, pages 7 through 12:


Mecir: (pause and sustains his position.) This very illegitimate perch of night brings thy friends, and Laggett enemies forth- as were one ingathering!

Sadutin: Thus my sword be of reason in use, and a shield forged of wisdom sheathe.

Shalt I not patrol in arms Mecir- to do the deed as my adversaries shall?

Mecir: A frail defense Sadutin, so oft intruded- dear Edas attires a shepard cloth for thou oh lamb ideas...Yet you were the soup of ideals- of balmy estates and raved inceptions, of pure and distinct methods, wher'st a lonely desert did fabricate- though lest hath lost the advantage at thy return, squandered the arts of true sport, and turned promised ethereal gates to be of vile propped and the persecuted, of scorn and scoffing scourge, of maimed and martyrdom, which is left for us to weep with sorrow and tragic mourn- and leaves thy imperfect vision to ruins- as truest as Edas devours them with a wolfen bite. Give way to that solitary field Sadutin, tis where yours dreams are never tested, and the ills of man are least revealed- thy skin is purged too soft, in so this vulnerable estate we speak in, and be the tender foodstuffs for those in prey.

Sadutin: Thus my Lord decides a fate this weighty night.

Aldercane: (bends to Sadutin) Troubled am I to see thee so in resolve- the faithful tenet to thy conviction...Mettle intrudes your sacred paths, and has the intelligence to deceive you outright. Go as my brother advises! (several young men are heard entering the tomb with lighted torches/riled by some unholy, merriment drink/one in lead)

Edas: It is must for activity to be in the hall of Laggett sorts! A spectre crawls the floor- faint I to hear these lowly steps penetrate ill-refuge....Hence, cowards roam where brave men intercede; hither, to unfaithful ends do they cast all their most unfortunate mistakes! (he comes close, directing his torch to their direction) AHH! (smiles in glee) A pot of three wilted plants take lily roots, and find light enough to grow where terminal death succeeds...Their veins are puny by a hollow flood of Laggett juices! ( Mecir attempts to draw but Sadutin holds him from it)

Sadutin: Fair Edas; thy and mine congress is overdue. To fashion ourselves for peace.

Edas: Here it speak! (he laughs amused/turns back to others) A plant discharges a word to me! As if intelligence is born in its frail leaf. (they laugh in unison) Pray vegetable- that I be saviour than killing thorn to thee! ( three others are with him/each with hand on sword)

Mecir: Draw cursed Edas! To travel midst another world; where land unfolds of times unknown, nor destiny shadows ever seen by mortal kinds; and the tempest spared or rendered doom- for I know nothing of. This (draws sword violently) here lays in balance of thy own command upon immortal fields, but assured doubtless judgement is played within justice.....You offend the dramatics by your comic manner as time purports these perilous moments...Laugh upon your wreathe dear Edas; if thou could'st laugh on descending death- for thy meaning's enterprise is at hand! And give this vile vegetation ample opportunity to show infestation poisonous to thy easy feast!

Sadutin: No Mecir. Whil'st thou succeed on devil's brutal coil, disregarding the active curse of temptation as it wears on thee, and yet exceeds its own fruits of the most famine Wants...You do starve on it Mecir- the killing, and how so it burns thy eye for the slaughter! The massacre is though of your soul; the slaying is but in your heart- and alas, the homicide is of thee! ...Upon evil wings doeth spread and rove a span of terrible vice by an enemies' torrent claims; and well as shalt vice rule minion in excess of thee- by equal submission? As ignorance plays your conscience field? Therein lies a faulty defense on an ill-faithful state of occasion. Ideals proved too wrecked to intrude thy assailed apparition fight...Forego it Mecir, if thou cans't make free release to freedom; forego it! To thee I pronounce- do not struggle with your own, internal reins; hold to it!- no matter your forfeit to the terms of outward aggression, that I ask you to suspend on....Hither runs truth, and honour, and thou bade it not its solemn address- with unthinking resolution? A grave turmoil persists within Mecir.

Mecir: Principal and Virtue plagues you dear Sadutin- of this most, I fear presently that Fate implements you this night- dastardly fate.

Sadutin: (bends his hand around Mecir's neck/pulls him to closest earshot/whisper) If such prevails, I fear it then- to mine eyes and ears emulate; it seems verily justified.

Mecir: (lowers sword) Tis shame, have I mold of thy un-combating character- that thy motives are true sincere and woe'st too much, a tenant to peace.

Sadutin: Rest this imparted hatred to a finer cause Mecir. Thy bondage flutters on swift retribution- if on so the greeting statement that I seek- from thee. From where the light shineth; thickest ice shall even thaw....(no answer comes/only silence) Come Mecir, speak thy heart's true intent, as mine swells on hope to view thee anew.(again, silence/Sadutin then releases Mecir and turns to Edas in disappointment) It comes on a crowded talk, assembled from many voices confirmed, placing thee as proprietor owner of my father's sorrowed tragedy....Clouds, of tumbling fledge and conspiring condensation, do mist a folly dew that storms so unhappy a dissertation against thy character- and which upon thine resolving torments to do another so an agony, I bleed a heart heavy on what is not delayed to my weeping temperament. The winds of a desert were my dispatchers; though nay do I retire; nay have I turned away unfelt- but present a forgiving heart for this unfortunate thing-willingly thus.

Edas: To this loft disposition; caught in thy venom inquisition- has another cry given frank request unto me for some forgiving sanctuary- to seek the refuge of my heart for refuge? I think it not! What wrangled accord doeth a wilted plant vine on me? (he partially laughs) Have I gained award against reward for treasures defined on thy capture? It fails to comprehend me as I, it- and so fails my fair, pruding judgement! Here! (he throws out a sword for Sadutin to use) Thou art in arms about and not such the defenseless soul! Warrant now this metal force for an even jury to weigh me fitting and more the proper to do thee in!

Sadutin: You would cheapen valour so-a disease not vaunted- that drives within thee unrebuked...Nay! As I set on mine forgiveness affirmed, so to doeth our mother stage be set, and rise to one Sun.

Edas: (draws sword violently) Then join this fowled parent strike’d down by a similar edge: I forge no penance for thy appropriate indictment! Give thy father welcome on his stage when thy sees him most affluently this day!

Sadutin: Thy would end a Life of Peace?

Edas: As thy would inscribe my sentence of Repentance!

Mecir: Stand hold Edas mad! (redraws sword uninhibited now/faces Edas) Thou art warped like the edge of Earth! Face a hatred finer than any known- and bite bitter cling to the sword pondering mine angry grasp! Oh let hands fly to action, and would do what thoughts would do to thee; thus which pulls clean your dirty heart of coal and chill. Ho!The Edas feather bends on another approachful wind!

Sadutin: Mecir, thee I radically beseech- make bare your arms of rift and adolescent strife! (he stands between them as they begin to do battle/Edas' sword strikes an unintended Sadutin through the back as he is turned toward mecir/he looks stunned into Mecir's unbelieving eyes as the sword penetrates-comes forth, in the midst of his heart/thus, Sadutin falters on the sword's extraction-blood dripping heavily from the weapon/Aldercane screams wildly on this final altercation-running to attend to Sadutin) Thy defense from my sentence plea, tenders complete- which makes circled full this fainting orb, in life. (gazing placidly to Edas) It lays to thine hand, a power bled to an outward flood- as evil curses all good- alas, a formidable stain is purity exhumed!....A hand, feels so deaf to the touch (lifts hand as it trembles violently) as if from where my soul will flee...Ah, the hand is numb to me! (Edas pulls farther back, realizing what he has done/Sadutin shakes and crumbles to stillness)

Mecir: (raged and aggressive, Mecir yells/swings toward Edas as the others pull their swords and enter/Aldercane still assists the dying Sadutin) Die a double agony! Carry forth an added sentence for this filthy plague thou casts upon me! Die oh serpent masked in human skin! -Die by mine flighted knife! (being a better swordsman, Mecir cuts a small gash in Edas' shoulder/who goes in retreat/the others fend for him/Mecir drives them all past the tomb entrance and gate/Father Raskhar stands at its foot and holds back Mecir's hand/Mecir makes attempt to get free.)

Father Raskhar: Death be still, not active!(all four flee and the father, mecir are left alone for counsel.)

Mecir: Succeeds rebellion as triumph, and true triumph fails away from justice to anarchy arrest? What manner sort of Hope is this as a fairest enemy thorns against my belly, to discord a Laggett's cousin line....If this Hope is thine to celebrate a Laggett trees' destruction- let joy be in contempt of it! And nay a smile creep into the world, nor laughter escape from its cell of woe! Must a saint lay for death to gain on...and surpass him for the benefit of none and the tragedy of all? Father, bear a word of comfort for me.

Father Raskhar: An uncle is dead-

Mecir: And now his son; failed to death’s suffication.

Father Raskhar: (looks astonished/pushes forward into the tomb light)Sadutin! Aldercane! (bends slowly to both) Oh this hypocracy day! Wretched day! that looms alpha, and peers joyous camoflage in dawn's earliest sighting- turned wrecked in thy setting end.....and scurge's most foul breath- that would breathe on Sadutin without pause and fume a horrible crime into our pasture, and leave him blinded from the remains of Life.....Oh distasteful food that did strike his heart prematurely, leaves thy bitter remind here, on mine foregone tongue- if could we only apprehend another reality; sustain a second proceeding.

Mecir: It was not a day which willed to throne their doom- a Laggett foe sword which bode to death this full Laggett branch-none other. A day would rise and descend no matter the occasions drawn betwixt that constant government; of course and procession, likened to a formal ceremony- that should crown a day to experience, and escap' for another forthcoming in the morrow. We must follow, if interlude of Life relegates us to be- of that, which lays thine and mine single navigation....A heart is yet a perch for Love, ee'r taken by theft from dearest Sadutin's breast; broken, mangled, defused, now regionless; refuge in a postulated realm- all the beguiled activity of one blot Edas adversary!

Father Raskhar: Say not these things! Mourning arrives for us to reckon with, onto morn's starting gaze- see it! (looks quickly to coming horizon from the tomb entrance) Yonder brims the gassed flint which breaks the scene so- as light breeches night's hastened contract, and indicates a thrift suit to oppose this future moment to become....Yesterday contends the morrow, and today is their torn phantom prize- Tis our payment obligation; the price is the eternal blood of two Laggett friends. (morning sun begins to come up on the tomb porthole) Come! Come! Come swift! The eve is but a shadow to past; the morrow is come upon an early wing. Settle thy final attribute word for a spirit sake which sets a little fragment already from our heads.

Aldercane: (clutching tenderly sadutin's body) A tiny time flows even for thee- alas, a poor man's leave is simple, ordinary- a deedless parting; a prodigal son to wealthy contracts- here lies unmoved with all possessions of deed, of a deedless rogue; (he begins to weep further)a crutch for honour; a flask of venture torn; a wear of wisdom scorned; sandals of thy sovereignty spurned; a bruised brow as this humble beauty I tender over. (he weeps fully now) These blessed shower tears in thy fleeting shadow Sadutin, cast flames of love and memory and admiration onto thine life reviewed, and so desires to assemble gifted flowers for the path ascending toward Heaven bound- preset for thee! Let these urchin droplets so wrought of youth, and so empty to age, cushin thy leave- to heal an eternal tear over thy mortal, wounded heart!

Father Raskhar: Oh terrible sufferance child! Come: make sure exodus with me. (bending to aldercane/pulls him from sadutin's dead, limp body) This day of Sadutin is set abroad- a sadden set for thee. (looks to mecir and takes hold of him) and thine.(looks to aldercane, already in his clutch/directs them toward the entrance) Daylight wears fast in present urgency, and renders this twosome for another duration! Tither flee abundantly for thy safe abductions are athunder! ....The day is proved elite on all our lives- go forth, must we- to it! Shadow the night! Shadow the night! As it hath escaped without our intelligence of it. Fly! Fly! (daylight comes more pronounced and shines over them as they retire and close off the tomb entrance/aldercane still weeps in the very arching of morning)

Aldercane: If were' it to be another valued occasion, Sadutin would be, still.(stage light dims)





CONCLUSION OF ACT 1 SCENE 1

The given selection from Act 1 Scene 1 of "In the Years of the Ages" demonstrates the author's imaginative writing style, which is evident from the use of vivid language, metaphors, and personification. The scene is set in a tomb, and the characters' dialogues reflect their respective traits and motives. The form of the selection is that of a script, and the composition of the dialogues is well-structured, creating a natural flow of conversation.

The movement of the selection is fast-paced, with characters moving in and out of the tomb. The use of stage directions effectively adds to the physicality of the scene, creating an immersive experience for the reader. The language used in the selection is formal, with characters using poetic and archaic expressions. This stylistic choice adds to the atmosphere of the play, and helps to create a sense of timelessness.
The characters' dialogues reveal their personalities and motives. Mecir is depicted as an impulsive and aggressive character, while Sadutin is portrayed as the voice of reason. Edas is portrayed as a character who enjoys revelry and delights in mocking others. Aldercane is depicted as a character who is concerned for Sadutin's well-being. These characterizations help to make the scene more dynamic and engaging.

The writing skill set demonstrated in this selection is impressive. The author is able to convey a sense of atmosphere and setting using minimal stage directions, relying instead on the characters' dialogues to paint a vivid picture. The use of metaphors and personification adds depth to the scene, while the formal language used by the characters is consistent with the setting and tone of the play. The author's ability to create distinct characters with their own unique personalities and motives is commendable.

In conclusion, the given selection from Act 1 Scene 1 of "In the Years of the Ages" is a well-written and engaging piece of dramatic literature. The author's imaginative writing style, use of vivid language, and ability to create distinct characters make this scene a compelling read. The scene is well-structured, with a fast-paced movement that keeps the reader engaged. Overall, the author demonstrates a high level of writing skill and creativity in this selection.

© Copyright 2023 C David Murphy (cdavidmurphy at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2291860-In-the-Years-of-the-Ages-Act-1-Scene-1