Funny Granny

My Granny ‘Helen’ (as she likes to be called now) passed with dementia in 2010. If y’all have ever known someone with dementia and Alzheimer's problems, well … they can say the darndest things.

I used to make faces at her and she would often say “looks just like ya”

I said to her one morning (I think my hair was a bit messy), I asked, “how do I look?”
She says “you look like a squirrel in a wash bowl!”

She asked me one day “what’s Memory (my sister) doing out there?”
I said, “i don’t know Granny, what’s she doing?”
“Well she’s got her pants down she’s mooning everybody!”

“What are all those elephants and giraffes doing in the trees?” She’d ask now and then.
“I don’t know Granny, what are they doin’?
“Well they’re just sitting up there!”
“Well I don’t think they’re harming anything”
“They look funny! I wonder why they’re up there?”
“Beats me!”

“Who’s that in my car?” She’d often ask.
“I don’t know, I cant see anyone in there”
“I see’m in the driver seat, go tell’em to get out”
“Its your car, you go tell’em to get out .. its not bother’n me”
“Well it’s bothering me”
“Well it’s not bother’n me, they don’t seem to be hurt’n anything”
“Well it bothers me … go tell’m to get out!”
“It’s your car, you go tell’m to get out”
Etc. etc. etc.

There were many times she woke during the night or after a midday nap
“Are we ready to leave?” She’d ask.
“Leave to where Granny?”
“Well we’re going back to Texas aren’t we!?”
“No not today Granny”
“Oh I thought we were getting ready to go”

She would also on occasion think I was one of my cousins from northern Michigan.

One day after she’d got off the bus from the senior daycare center, I was walking her to the house and I asked, “Granny if I fell down and broke my neck would you help me?”
“I’d throw you in the dumpster”
“Oh well thanks” I said laughing.

Sometimes I’d get close to her face and make a funny face and she would lightly smack my jaw or lips with her fingers and then she would chuckle: sometimes my mom would be watching and say, “well you had it coming”. …

Thank you I think that is all for this story, thank you for reading. *Smile*


2/14-17/23

~ Quieter the Wilder