REBELLIOUS

Who said I had to listen to my parents? Follow the rules? UGH. I hate whoever came up with fricking RULES. I guess you could call me a little rebellious. Who really cares if I learn the form for finding the volume of a sphere? It's not like you'd be using it in the future anyways. Like actually, who comes up to you asking, Oh hi, do you think that you can help me find this volume? If you do I'll give you 10 grand. Like that has never happened. Just because I have this super 'gift' or whatever my mom calls it doesn't mean she can still tell me what to do. Even if someone DID come up to me asking about the volume of a sphere, I'd just give them the exact answer. Yeah, I'm a math genius. And a writer. And a whole lot of other frickin things that I'd rather not be. A 'nerd'. A 'freak'. A 'weirdo'. An 'outcast'. I just can't take it anymore. Sure, it's not like they say that to my face, but my 'gift', so to say, let me hear their thoughts. Add a mind reader to the list. I don't know exactly how I got this gift, just that one day I answered I question I thought my mom said and she answered that she never spoke, she was just thinking of asking me.
Ever since then, I can read minds at will. It gets kinda annoying since if I'm in a room full of people, I hear everyone. Sorta like being in a room with a bunch of people talking at once. Only worse, since they don't know you're listening. Like, just yesterday, some weirdo Brad was thinking about how cute my best friend was. UGH. Like she would ever date that freak!
Over time, I guess I've gotten used to it. At least now when I walk into a room full of people it's not like walking into an overcrowded bar. I can still hear thoughts, but I've been careful to not let anyone know.
I stay here even though no one likes it. Over and over I hear thoughts of she should die. It's not like anyone would miss her. Or How do you think that freak looks in the mirror without killing herself? She's so damn ugly it hurts. Sure, I have thought about it, but the point of my talented 'gift' could get back at bullies. I can't even tell my parents about it since they think those thoughts too. Not as bad as people literally telling me I should die, but bad enough.
Bitch. Freak. I wish she'd just go away and leave us in peace for a few days.
I go through it every day. Every. Single. Frickin. Day. I'm tired of it. I try to think about MY thoughts, the thoughts that would never hurt me, but I always end up crying over what people think of me. Bitch. Freak. Outcast. The words run around in my head, practically dancing. I know words aren't supposed to hurt you, but this is too much. My life is screwed up. Even my family wants me to go away. EVEN MY PARENTS want me to go away. I'm an outcast, a girl that will never fit in. I always will be.
I think. I decide. I run. I look. I jump. My life flashes before my eyes. Images of my parents and my best friend. My dog. My little sister. They're all in my head. I hit the water. The river is churning from the impact of my body. My head goes under the water and I accidentally take a big gulp. I can feel my lungs gasping for air. Yet some small voice inside of me tells me to fight. Tells me not to let the bullies win. FIGHT IDIOT! YOU CAN'T DIE NOW! I fight. I had almost hit the bottom of the river when I turn my body around and swim. I'm running out of air. I break through the surface and take in a big gulp of air. Just when I think I survived, I black out. I feel the water wrapping around me, dragging me down to the bottom of the river. I hear shouts, could they be about me? I wish I could open my eyes and fight. But it's easier to surrender. I am finally free of the pain...