Query Packet

TEASER THREE (45 words)  Note that this is similar to the first paragraph of SYNOPSIS 3.

Duty, honor, heart.  In the 32^nd century, those three hallowed words dictate what soldiers like ELAM VANDREREN ought to do, can do, and will do. Elam failed in the past, and now he must again chose between fidelity to his heart or to duty and honor.

SYNOPSIS THREE (317 words)

Duty, honor, heart.  In the 32^nd century, those three hallowed words dictate what soldiers like ELAM VANDREREN ought to do, can do, and will do.  That seemed simple until Elam had to choose between his heart and duty and honor.  Now he's haunted by his betrayal of his lover.

Elam thinks the dead-end job of Resident on the abandoned planet CABOT'S LANDING is the perfect escape from his past. But when he arrives, he finds the prior Resident murdered.  Elam thinks the Resident’s spouse did it.  The investigator, KOLONEL SIGURD VAN DORSTADT, thinks Elam did it.  They both think there was no one else on the planet.  It turns out they are wrong on all counts.

Despite an intense love/hate relationship and keeping secrets from each other, Elam and Sigurd join forces to find the truth.  Clues point to unknown persons on the planet as the culprits.  A surprise attack by a band of EXALTATIONISTS, a murderous cult from the other side of human space, chases the investigators across the planet.  During their flight, Sigurd and Elam stumble on the LEFT BEHIND, long-hidden descendants of settlers from half a millennium ago. The Left Behind fear the Exaltationists and offer an alliance. With their aid, Sigurd devises a daring plan to defeat the cultists.  The plan succeeds, but Sigurd is nearly killed. Elam rescues him and they acknowledge their deep feelings for each other.

Sigurd and Elam discover that their allies, the Left Behind, are danger as great as the Exaltationists. The Left Behind descended from an ancient project to breed genetically enhanced warriors, warriors with. abilities that pose an existential threat to the peace of the galaxy.  Duty requires they defend the peace. Honor requires they keep promises to their allies. To do both, they must betray their hearts and their love for each other.


DRAFT COVER LETTER
I am writing in response to your twitter post in which you expressed an interest in thrillers.  Murder on Cabot's landing is a 75,000 word novel that blends the thriller and scifi genres.

When Elam flees his past to the post of Resident on the abandoned planet Cabot's Landing, he finds the prior Resident murdered. The investigation threatens to expose his secrets.  He battles the investigator, religious extremists, and genetically engineered warriors to save his life and preserve the galactic peace.

I have previously published four novels with small, independent presses.  All of the prior novels have featured gay protagonists and involved mysteries in one form or another. 

Thank you for your time. I look forward to  your reply.

Bill Ray





DRAFT COVER 2

I am writing to query your interest in “Murder on Cabot's Landing,”  a 78,000 word SciFi novel that blends the mystery, thriller, and SciFi genres, with a touch of gay romance.  I found you via a search for agents on Duotrope.com

Duty, honor, heart.  In the 32nd century, those three hallowed words dictate what soldiers like ELAM VANDREREN ought to do, can do, and will do.  That seemed simple until Elam had to choose between his heart and duty and honor.  Now he's haunted by his betrayal of his lover.

Elam thinks the job of Resident on the abandoned planet CABOT'S LANDING is the perfect escape from his past. But when he arrives, he finds the prior Resident murdered.  Elam thinks the Resident’s spouse did it.  The investigator, KOLONEL SIGURD VAN DORSTADT, thinks Elam did it.  They both think there was no one else on the planet.  It turns out they are wrong on all counts.

Despite an intense love/hate relationship and keeping secrets from each other, Elam and Sigurd join forces to find the truth.  Sigurd discovers another murder victim, proving that more people were on the planet all along.  A band of EXALTATIONISTS, a murderous cult from the other side of human space, launch a surprise attack on the investigators. During their escape, they stumble on the LEFT BEHIND, long-hidden descendants of those who didn’t leave when the planet was abandoned half a millennium ago. The Left Behind fear the Exaltationists and offer an alliance. With their aid, Sigurd devises a daring plan to defeat the cultists.  The plan succeeds, but Sigurd is nearly killed. Elam rescues him and they finally reveal their secrets and acknowledge their deep feelings for each other.

In the course of the battle, Sigurd and Elam realize that their allies are a greater danger than their foes. The Left Behind descended from an ancient project to breed genetically enhanced warriors, warriors with. abilities that pose an existential threat to the peace of the galaxy.  Duty requires they defend the peace. Honor requires they keep promises to their allies. To do both, they must betray their hearts and their love for each other.

Writing as Max Griffin, I have published several novels with small, independent presses.  I am currently President of Oklahoma Science Fiction Writers, a small group of local authors publishing in the SciFi and Horror genres, and I write a monthly column “For Authors” on Writing.Com.  My author website is at https://new.maxgriffin.net, where  you can find the first chapter of this novel and my blog. 

I am mathematician by training, and am retired from a major research university in the US Southwest where I held faculty positions in mathematics, electrical engineering, and senior positions in academic leadership.  My graduate textbook, “Real Analysis,” was published by Prentice-Hall. 

If you require additional information, I can be reached via email at [e-mail] or by phone or text at 918.408.6711.  Thank you for  your



/////////OLDER VERSIONS


TEASER ONE (50 words)

Elam flees from his past by taking the hermit-like post of Resident on an abandoned planet.  He arrives to find the prior Resident of the supposedly empty planet murdered. Now the investigation threatens to expose his secret past but also reveals a threat to all humanity.

TEASER TWO (Suggested by an anonymous reviewer) This one is much better.

TEASER THREE A (48 words)

Elam flees his past to the post of Resident on the abandoned planet Cabot's Landing. When he finds the prior Resident murdered, the investigation threatens to expose his secrets.  He battles the investigator, religious extremists, and genetically engineered warriors to save his life and preserve the galactic peace.


SYNOPSIS ONE  (237 words)

When ELAM VANDREREN arrives on the abandoned planet CABOT’S LANDING, he finds the previous caretaker murdered.  Elam thinks the caretaker’s wife did it.  KOLONEL SIDGURD VAN DORSTADT thinks Elam did it.  They both think the caretaker and his spouse were the only people on the planet.  It turns out they are wrong on all counts. 

Sigurd leads an investigative team of from the ZUIDERKRUISE, the trader that brought them to the planet.  Despite an intense love/hate relationship, Elam and Sigurd join forces.  Their investigation leads them to an ancient biological station, where they come under mortar attack by the EXALTATIONISTS, religious extremists from off planet and an old common enemy.  When they flee from the attack through underground tunnels, they find a genetic engineering lab and the LEFT BEHIND, descendants of those who didn’t leave when the planet was first abandoned five hundred years ago.  Allied with the LEFT BEHIND, they deduce that the Exaltationists are the murderers, aided by a secret agent on the Zuiderkruise.

During the final battle to defeat the Exaltationists, Sigurd is wounded and nearly dies, but Elam and the Left Behind rescue him.  Elam and Sigurd finally acknowledge their feelings for each other, but they must deal with a new threat. They now know that the Left Behind are the result of an ancient project to genetically engineer warriors and have mysterious powers that could the destroy humankind.

Together, Sigurd and Elam forge a solution that saves humanity, protects the Left Behind, but dooms their relationship. 

SYNOPSIS TWO (198 words)

When ELAM VANDREREN arrives on the abandoned planet CABOT’S LANDING, he finds the previous caretaker murdered.  Elam thinks the caretaker’s wife did it.  KOLONEL SIDGURD VAN DORSTADT thinks Elam did it.  They both think the caretaker and his spouse were the only people on the planet.  It turns out they are both wrong on all counts. 

Despite an intense love/hate relationship and keeping secrets from each other, Elam and Sigurd join forces to solve the crime. EXALTATIONISTS, militant religious extremists from off-planet, launch a surprise attack on them.  The mysterious LEFT BEHIND, descendants of those who didn’t leave when the planet was abandoned five hundred years ago, offer an alliance.  This alliance defeats the Exaltationists, but Sigurd is nearly killed in the battle.  Elam saves him, and they acknowledge their feelings for one another. 

Sigurd and Elam deduce the Left Behind are descendants of an ancient project to genetically engineer warriors.  Their abilities constitute an existential threat to the rest of humanity. Together, Elam and Sigurd must resolve the conflict between duty, honor, and heart to find a solution that saves humanity while protecting their allies. True to duty and honor, they sacrifice heart to achieve peace.


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The idea of last synopsis is a 3 paragraph summary.  Paragraph one sets up the plot.  Paragraph two is a broad outline of the plot.  Paragraph three gives the ethical dilemma of the novel, the conflict between duty, honor, and heart (something the novels reveals throughout in the interactions between Sigurd and Elam), and gives the inevitable resolution of that conflict.