Her Rubber Husband

She has a rubber husband.
At least, that’s what it’s called.
The first time that she used that term
I really was appalled.

What was this rubber husband?
And is this something new?
Could this device do more for her
than what a man could do?

Not any man, but this one,
her husband for some years.
I felt like I was at a loss;
I had to hold back tears.

This really hurt my feelings.
It surely damped my pride.
I looked around for where to go,
someplace where I could hide.

But she just laughed a little
and said it was okay.
She said sometimes she needed help,
for sure when I’m away.

“That gadget is the best tool
I use once in a while.
It always does the job for me,”
she told me with a smile.

Well, that just made me nervous.
I thought I’d been replaced.
I’d have to learn somehow, it seemed,
to live with this disgrace.

But then she held her hand up
and showed me this device.
She said it opened any jar
and that it worked real nice.

Well, let me say I’m happy,
relieved as I can be.
Her rubber husband is no threat,
as far as I can see.

In fact, when she’s not looking,
I sometimes use it too.
And if it makes her feel so good,
well, what else can I do?

Author's note: If you don't know what a rubber husband is, look it up.