If you sure can’t beat mischief
Without a very giant mustache -
And you won’t likely race hard
Without a testy gas guzzler…
A hold on the finest lenses
Should simply lay them
On the bridge of your nose;
And once in a while,
Wiping your mouth clean
With a napkin should dirty
Or smudge up your eye glasses…
Depending on what you’re eating -
How quickly -
And the amount of gravy,
Sauce, or dressing
On your food…
But that occasional mishap or stain
Must never warrant contacts -
The myriad of other choices
Shall play a bigger role
In that fine ascension
Of those cared-for,
Moist, and deliverable options,
Glittering predictors
For an earthquake-like drama
Of veritable extremes…
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