Reginal Blast And The Two Gray Aardvarks

Reginald Blast and the Two Gray Aardvarks
A Fairy Tale
by Jill Criddle
Once upon a time there was a hopeful boy called Reginald Blast. He was on the way to see his Uncle Toby Humble, when he decided to take a short cut through The Amazon Rainforest.
It wasn't long before Reginald got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favorite toy, Spike, but Spike was nowhere to be found! Reginald began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Spike. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a gray aardvark dressed in a purple jacket disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Reginald.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed aardvark. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Reginald reached a clearing. In the clearing were three houses, one made from butternut squashes, one made from chocolates and one made from lollipops.
Reginald could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Reginald looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Reginald a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Spike!
"Spike!" shouted Reginald. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Spike back!" cried Reginald.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Spike out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, two gray aardvarks rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Reginald recognised the one in the purple jacket that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Aardvark," said the witch.
"Good morning." The aardvark noticed Spike. "Who is this?"
"That's Spike," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Spike would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the aardvark.
The witch shook her head. "Spike is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Reginald interrupted. "Spike lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Aardvark ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Aardvark looked at the house made from lollipops and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from lollipops if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next aardvark. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Spike."
Reginald watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Spike to Big Aardvark. He didn't think Spike would like living with a gray aardvark, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other one aardvarks watched while Big Aardvark put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Big Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Aardvark started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of chocolates, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Aardvark.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Spike remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from lollipops.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Average Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Aardvark started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an aardvark!" said Average Aardvark.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Aardvark, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the aardvark away under his arm.
Average Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Spike remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Spike."
"Not so fast," said Reginald. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house is made from butternut squashes. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the aardvarks. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Reginald.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Spike back."
Reginald ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small campfire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from butternut squashes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Reginald sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Reginald. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Reginald's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from butternut squashes. Once more, he roasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Reginald was down to the final piece of the door made from butternut squashes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Reginald had eaten the entire front door of the house made from butternut squashes.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Spike or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Reginald hurried over and grabbed Spike, checking that his favorite toy was all right. Fortunately, Spike was unharmed.
Reginald thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Toby. It was starting to get dark.
When Reginald got to Toby's house, his Uncle threw his arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Toby. "You are very late."
As Reginald described his day, he could tell that Toby didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Toby.
Reginald unwrapped a doorknob made from chocolates. "Pudding!" he said.
Toby almost fell off his chair.
The End