Naruto’s Food Poisoning Chronicles

Sasuke jogged into a public restroom, taking a break from training. The furthest stall was occupied so he sat down in the other one and thought nothing of it. It was his ordinary early morning poop.

Sasuke grunted slightly as he pushed out a smooth log. It landed in the toilet with a loud plop.

As he sat there, Sasuke heard a strained grunt coming from the other stall.

“Mnnnh…”

Sasuke continued taking his dump without much thought. But then another grunt and a long fart came from the other stall. Then a groan with the voice of Naruto.

Sasuke peered under the stall divider and saw orange pants. It was definitely him.

“Naruto? What are you doing here?”

“I can’t get it- Unnnh-out…my poop I mean. Weird because I usually get diarrhea instead of constipation.” The blonde sounded slightly frustrated.

A fart slipped out of Sasuke as he leaned forward and pushed some more. “So you’ve been on the toilet for…how long?”

“Nnnh…three hours…it feels like a rock in my stomach.” Naruto strained and grunted. “Ow…now it’s hurting from all the pushing…”

“What’d you eat this time, knucklehead?” Sasuke smirked, thinking his friend was so careless.

“Expired ramen.”

“Of course.”

Sasuke wiped his butt and finished his business before hopping over the stall divider into Naruto’s stall. There sat Naruto, clutching his stomach and pushing.

“What do you need, dimwit? Laxative? Plums?”

Naruto grinned. “The laxatives will drain me for who knows how long, but it’s worth a shot.”

“Oof. Just relax. Let yourself loose. I’ll help you with this.”

“Wha-“

“Just do it.”

Naruto closed his eyes and relaxed. Sasuke began to rub his stomach. “Feeling better?” Naruto nodded gently. The pain was still there, albeit less sharp and intense.

Sasuke walked to the corner store and bought some laxatives to help with Naruto’s constipation. He jumped back over into Naruto’s stall.

“Alright, you big baby. Take one of these.”

Naruto took three before Sasuke stopped him.

“This isn’t candy, you idiot!”

“Yeah, well I just want to make sure it works!”

“It’ll work alright, a bit too much. It takes hours to become effective. Let’s go train in the meantime.”

It was only thirty minutes before Naruto felt the urge to go. He ran into a bushy area in the woods next to the training field as Sasuke waited, perched in a tree above him.

Naruto gave two loud farts and groaned, suddenly releasing a torrent of watery, greenish diarrhea.

“Gnnnnnh…” The boy grunted and pushed out a wet fart, splattering diarrhea everywhere.

Sasuke hopped down from the tree. “You okay?” He pat Naruto’s back.

Naruto farted. “Yeah…I shouldn’t have taken so much…”

—

It was two in the morning and Naruto felt a grumbling feeling in his stomach followed by a dull pain. He groaned and slid out of bed, trudging to the bathroom, still reeking of the stench of his previous trip to the bathroom. He pulled down his pants and sat on the still-warm toilet seat and put his hands on his abdomen, pushing slightly.

A few gassy farts came out, followed by a few waves of splotches of chunky diarrhea. The boy sighed, feeling a bit better.

He sat on the toilet daydreaming for five minutes before he leaned against the wall and fell asleep.

Naruto appeared significantly more drowsy on the next day’s mission. Sasuke asked for a bathroom break and aggressively gestured for Naruto to go with him.

“What?”

“I gotta take a dump, you take one too.”

“I don’t need to go though.”

“At least try. You’ll get the runs at a less inconvenient time if you go when you can.”

Sasuke led Naruto twenty feet into the forest away from Sakura and Kakashi, who were eating lunch. They pulled down their pants and squatted down.

“Unnnnh…” Sasuke grunted a bit as he pushed. Naruto watched as Sasuke pushed out a long, smooth log of poop, sliding onto the ground. A foul smell filled both their noses.

Naruto pushed and farted. He grunted as he strained harder and harder, but it seemed that he only had gas in him. Sasuke put his hand on Naruto’s back, still in a squat with his pants down. Naruto’s felt his face grow warm from pushing. He grunted again, a slimy yellow ball slipped out of Naruto’s butt. He relaxed and let his thick, brownish green diarrhea flow out. Sasuke winced at the rancid smell, as well as when the liquid oozed onto his sandals. With another push and grunt, Naruto’s wet fart splattered all over his bare butt.

Sasuke, pinching his nose, handed Naruto a pack of tissue paper and dashed off to Kakashi. A few minutes later, Naruto followed.

—-

“Seriously, Sasuke, why would you order your steak blue? Blue?! Isn’t rare not rare enough for you?!” Naruto, for once, was the one lecturing Sasuke, who was sitting on the toilet draining his guts out. “

“Shut up, you idiot!” Naruto stood next to him sweating and trying his best to hold in his diarrhea. They had raced each other to their inn room bathroom, but Sasuke had sat on the toilet half a second before Naruto. It was a consequence of the whole team sharing the same room.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut and clutched his stomach. “Ernnngh…hnnnh…” He grunted as farts exploded inside the toilet. Liquid diarrhea poured from his anus.

Naruto farted. “Please…just hurry up you dimwit!”

Sasuke grunted. “I’m trying!” Splashes and loud farts rang through the bathroom. “Hnnnh!” He grunted loudly and pushed out a large load. Sasuke scrunched up some toilet paper, quickly wiped, and dashed from the seat out into the inn room. Naruto, looking like he was about to explode, didn’t take the time to flush Sasuke’s muddy mess in the toilet and sat right down and released his muscles and groaned. Two farts exploded out of the boy as the smell in the bathroom grew to a new level of disgusting. Tightly holding his stomach, Naruto grunted and pushed. A loud fart rang out for ten seconds, and Naruto felt the cramp in his abdomen disappear. A thick green liquid oozed from his butt, followed by a thick log.

“Unnnnh!” Naruto pushed on his log. The massive hunk made wet sounds as it was forced out of Naruto’s rectum. Gas escaped with each round of pushing, until finally a dark yellowish green pile of wet poop sat in the toilet bowl. A stream of the thick green liquid returned, and Naruto sat there straining until the flow slowly turned into drips and into nothing. Naruto wiped and winced at the bowl. There was green and brown liquid diluting each other with massive green chunks poking above the waterline like islands.

“Teamwork.” Naruto said sarcastically and flushed the duo’s wastes.

—-

Sasuke pounded at the bathroom door at midnight. “Open up!”

“Cmon, you did this to yourself.” Sakura was tired and was already annoyed enough that the entire day was populated by Naruto and Sasuke continuously having to poop, and was now even more annoyed that her digestive system was making her go in the middle of the night. Half asleep, she sat on the toilet trying to take her dump.

“Mmmmh…” Sakura relaxed and gave a small grunt and push, which was enough to dislodge the sausage in her intestines and make it slither out of her. She wiped, washed her hands, and trudged back to bed. She heard the door slam and the sound of farting and splashing.

—

Kakashi had taken a leak at a public restroom where Naruto and Sasuke needed to relieve themselves once again. He leaned against the bathroom walls and read his book, nearly unfazed by the sounds of explosive diarrhea and his students’ pained grunts from the two stalls.

Naruto released a massive load of gas and a few chunky balls of diarrhea into the bowl. “Kakashi sensei, how much longer do we have to deal with this for?” Naruto groaned.

Kakashi looked up from his book and at the two closed stall doors in front of him, each with farts and plopping coming from behind them. He sighed. “Naruto, you took too many laxatives, right? I’m guessing a couple more days.” Naruto groaned again.

“Sasuke…we’ll, you’ve got a stomach bug…at least a week, I guess?”

Sasuke clutched his stomach and pushed. “Seriously?” A massive glob of yellow poop slipped out of the black-haired boy, landing in the toilet with a hollow and loud plop. He grunted and farted, letting out more of his diarrhea.

“Unnnnnh…” Naruto grunted as he pushed for thirty seconds, forcing all of the watery green diarrhea out of him. The greenish brownish poop had little seeds and reddish specks in it along with some small chunks of solid poop. This round of pushing ended with a loud and long fart, which sprayed the green mist all over the interior of the toilet bowl.

Kakashi began to smell rotten eggs which was unpleasant but wasn’t too bad, until…

“Hmmmnnngh…” Sasuke forced out a small sausage of poop and a massive explosive fart. The smell became sickeningly sweetish-stink, and Kakashi pinched his nose despite his mask.

The two boys, literally drained, left the bathroom with a hand in their stomachs.

—
Kakashi squatted down at the squat toilet and opened up his book, ready to relieve himself in a public bathroom while his students were eating lunch, with the exception of Naruto, who had followed him into the bathroom and squatted in the stall next to Kakashi. Naruto clutched his stomach as a fart exploded out of him. “Unnnh…ohhh…” Naruto groaned as the muddy diarrhea flowed out of him.

Kakashi ignored the loud farts and concentrated in his reading, dropping a sausage of poop. “Kid, just relax. Don’t push too hard and grunt too loudly. Just let nature do it.”

Naruto closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Green diarrhea spewed from his butt while he farted rapidly. “Unnnh…”