A Real Punk Daddy

A Real Punk Daddy

By Shadowgate
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Terry Dolton is a 38-year-old American citizen who expects people to obey all rules and laws.

In his neighborhood he saw a police officer who stopped two children on bikes.

He walked over to them and said "well officer I'm glad to see you've stopped these two kids from whatever delinquent acts they were involved in."

Officer Price said, "oh they weren't involved in anything illegal I was giving them both coupons for free ice cream because they wore their helmets."

Terry replied "my name is Terry Dolton and I for one am fed up with children getting away with everything. We should take these truancy violators and curfew violators and publicly flog them. These kids should be wearing helmets without getting rewarded for it."

The kids on bikes took off and Officer Price became angry and said "First of all we have a program at the police department to reward them with free ice cream coupons if they wear helmets. Second of all I hope you don't have children of your own."

Officer Price got into his car and drove away.

Terry Dolton then walked up to 14-year-old Charlie Burton who lived across the street from his house.

"I thought I told you not to wear that Megadeth t-shirt. I've got two nieces coming over to visit and they don't need to see that."

Charlie said "so what! I don't have to do what you say."

Terry replied, "I'll beat you senseless."

Charlie's mother came out and said, "get the fuck off my driveway or I'm calling the fucking cops!"

Terry replied, "you shouldn't be allowed to have children if you let them listen to Satanic music."

Terry stormed off angry.
Terry said, "Jason let's go to the corner store and get some ice cream for when your cousins arrive."

Terry sent Jason into the store while he pumped gas. He gave him instructions to get ice cream and beer. When Jason came out, he told his dad he couldn't get the beer.

Terry became angry and asked, "did you tell him it was for your dad?"

Jason put his hands over his face.

Terry asked, "why are you putting your hands over your face?"

Jason answered, "so in case you hit me I have my defense up."

Terry asked, "did you tell the Goddamn clerk it was for your dad?"

Jason answered "yes."

Terry stormed into the store and yelled "hey you stupid son of a bitch! Why the fuck didn't you let my kid pay for the beer? He's not going to drink it."

The Indian store clerk said, "that is not what the law allows sir."

Terry paid for the beer and it just so happened that another customer named Jane Clark was in the store and she happened to live in the neighborhood. She yelled "you of all people should know the fucking law!"

Terry said, "mind your own Goddamn business Jane."

Jane shot back "that's something you never do."

Terry stormed out of the store really pissed off.

When he and Jason got back home Terry saw his wife Molly and Officer Price in their driveway.

When Terry got out of the car he asked "Molly where are my nieces, they should have been dropped off right now are they here? Oh, and what's this police officer doing here?"

Molly said "I called and told them not to come two hours ago because I just found out about the affair you're having and this police officer is here because neighbors are complaining."

Officer Price cut in "we met earlier Mister Dalton and I'm here because I've had several complaints from neighbors about you harassing them."

Terry yelled "Molly” and Molly yelled back "don't fucking talk to me bastard!"

Officer Price said "you make curfew violators look good. You are a real punk daddy."

So ends the tale of Terry Dolton. The man who expects rules and laws to be, well he expects you to follow rules and laws. He also expects you to do anything he tells you.

THE END