The Haunted House

They said the house was haunted.
Someone had seen a ghost.
But ghosts don’t bother me too much,
it’s zombies I fear most.

I’ve seen all of those movies,
the ones where zombies roam.
Yeah, that would be my biggest dread,
to have one in my home.

This haunted house was listed.
The price was pretty good.
It was the cheapest one we found
in this nice neighborhood.

Of course, there was that ghost thing.
But was that really true?
And are these ghosts the scary type?
Or do they just say, “BOO!”

But why would they be selling?
And why was it so cheap?
I thought that we should look around
before we took the leap.

And so we had a walk-through.
We peeked in every room.
Although the house was emptied out
there was no sense of gloom.

And then we heard the noises,
like someone else was there.
But no one else was in the house.
We looked again with care.

They might be from the attic -
those noises that we heard.
Or maybe just up on the roof,
some squirrels or some bird.

I had to take a look there.
I pulled the ladder down.
But as I climbed up on the steps
I didn’t hear a sound.

The attic was quite dusty,
with cobwebs everywhere.
There were some boxes lying ‘round,
old junk they'd stored up there.

I brought a flashlight with me
and held it in my hand.
I had to duck my head down some.
It made it hard to stand.

I shined the light around me.
Did not see much at first.
No ghosts or zombies hiding out.
The spiders were the worst.

So we put in an offer
and bought the house that day.
My wife and I were having luck.
It seldom works that way.

Well, now we’ve lived here three months
and I don’t want to boast,
but all the things they said are true.
We now live with a ghost.

That ghost seems happy with us.
He is a kindly gent.
And we have an arrangement, too.
He pays us monthly rent.