Mildred Tries to Evade Justice

‘I killed! my father,’ said Mildred. This made Carlos unsure whether he wanted to date her. He wanted to find out whether she had good reasons for killing him. Perhaps she killed him in self defence. Or perhaps she was imprisoned and tortured; kept in a dark room, like an attic or basement, with very little food and water for years. Perhaps, one day, when her father was unawares she grabbed something in the dark, like an old-golf club and bludgeoned him mercilessly to death.
On the other hand, perhaps she were a serial killer, who in cold blood gunned down her father, and now wanted to blow him away too.

Being gunned down in cold blood was a risk Carlos was prepared to take. At least, he thought he would be prepared to roll the dice. He wanted her! He knew it when she walked on the school bus that freezing cold morning, in July.

Carlos, a modern- day Sinatra-style crooner, fell in love with Mildred as she walked toward him. He, a shy boy,didn’t have the courage to offer her the seat next to him. She appeared not to see him as she walked past. However, since, the seat next to him was the only seat available, she trudged back to him. Not looking at him, she said, ‘can I sit here?’
‘Sure,’ said Carlos.’ She sat and there was an uncomfortable silence.

Glory filled her eyes as if she’d been to hell and back a thousand times; each time coming back after defeating her oppressor. She plugged in Ear buds, so when he glanced at her, she already belonged to another space, so didn't seem to notice his presence. ‘Who are you listening to’ he said loudly and abruptly. It took her about ten seconds to register that he’d spoke. Looking irritated, she turned down her music and faced him.
‘What?’
He repeated what he’d said.
‘Kurt Kobain.’
‘Wasn’t he the dude who killed himself.’
‘Yes, but don’t people have good reasons for doing what they do.’
‘Yes, but’.....he then realised she wasn’t talking about Kurt, but about people in general. He sensed an attraction, but also a foreboding, lurking beneath her opaqueness: something terrifying that he wanted to flee from, but also, something, so alluring that he couldn’t run away either.

Suddenly, as if noticing him for the first time, something seemed to click inside her. Perhaps she noticed his Fedora, or his silk scarf, and realised he was in a band. Her grin, like the brightess sunlight that broke through the darkest cloud, told him everything he needed to know.

On the bus that morning, most of the students had already exited the bus, so Carlos and Mildred were alone near the back. Having no one around them, allowing her to open up, they became one on their journey.

All of a sudden, near the end of their journey, she withdrew from him. He felt that same foreboding presence enimating from her whole being. She appeared tortured as if she were living with some terrible experience that replayed over and over in her minds eye.
‘A penny for them,’ said Carlos. She broke from her trance-like state.
‘What?’
‘Just something I heard in a movie once.’ I mean, something seems to bother you.’
‘I can’t tell you. It’s nothing.’
‘Looking at you, it sure doesn’t look like nothing to me.’ She seemed to be debating deep-within herself whether to trust him. She sighed; looked at him confidentially.
‘ I killed! my father.’
‘OK. I’m willing to hear what happened.

Mildred told her story as he laid back in his seat and listened.’ My father fooled everyone,’ she said.’ To the people in our community; he was good natured Harry Rude: A man who always kept his word. The local barber, never enforcing tabs, always available for a chat, even offering advice, played his role as pillar of the community to a tee.

His role as a community man smoke screened what he did to me behind closed doors. When I was five, he killed my pet rabbit for no reason, except to break me. From then to now, he did terrible things to me. He cut me off completely from the world: from friends and family: apart from a secreted friendship with the next door neighbour Billy, a boy about my age. Father controlled how much I ate; decided how I spent my time; he made me do incessant cleaning; gardening with hardly any breaks. He said horrible things over and over: ‘You are nothing Mildred! You are nobody!’ I kept hearing those words repeated inside my head until I began to doubt my judgments and abilities.

One day, when I refused to do the cleaning that he made me do, he took a kitchen knife and cut me. It was only a small cut, but now his control over me was complete. My confidence destroyed; I was now his to do of as he pleased.

The next day, I think only a month ago, I cooked potatoes when he came at me again with the knife. I threw the water in the pot over his body. Badly scolded, he kept coming at me. With no time to think, I grabbed the knife, on the chopping board, and stabbed him, many, many times. I thought the police wouldn’t believe it was self defence, so I got Billy to help me bury him in the garden.’

When she finished her story, Carlos shocked at what he heard couldn’t find words. He said a few ums. Then composed himself.
‘I believe you,’ he said. Did you talk to the cops?’
‘Yes, they came when some of his clients reported that he’d disappeared, suddenly without any warning. I told them he’d gone fishing on the coast, which he often did! I said I was 18, which I’m not, but they believed me. But they said they might have to follow up in a while.’ Mildred pointed to the road ahead.’ My stops about 100 meters away, ‘she said.
‘Aren’t you going to invite me in?’ He saw the fear on her face.
‘Yes, of course!’
‘What are you worried about babe. The police coming?’ She nodded.
‘But you haven’t done anything. Apart from not reporting your father’s death.’
‘I’m worried if they come; I won’t be able to stand up to their questions.’
‘But no one knows anything apart from Billy. You can trust him to keep quiet. Can’t you?’
‘Yes, but Billy is a great talker. He loves chit chat and is always on Facebook and Twitter. But he would never break my trust.’ She pulled the bus cord, which rang the bell. The driver halted the bus.
Carlos signalled for her to leave first. They exited the bus.
As they entered her father’s house, she beamed an alluring smile. Could this lead to something more?
‘Come on in,’ she said as she trudged in on the old brown carpet. She paused in front of the tattered sofa, and looked back at him as he approached her. She said, ‘I feel safe with you. Nothing bad can happen when you’re in my life!’

When he arrived, he stood beside her and perused the lounge. He spotted a steel-stringed acoustic guitar, in the corner. He tuned it in 3 minutes. He said, ‘it was badly out, babe.’
‘My father didn’t play much. Needless to say, he never let me play.’
‘No I’m not surprised.’

She pulled out a bottle of chardonnay from her dad's wine cabinet. He put down the guitar; uncorked the bottle.
He again picked up the guitar, and sat down close to her on the couch.

He played all her favourite love songs as she requested them throughout the night. In between, he topped up her wine glass. About 4 am, stopping playing, sensing the right time, he kissed her fully on the lips. He felt she wanted more, but he wanted to wait for the right time to make love to her. He wanted it to be the most special time in her life.

They were lying on her single bed cuddling at about 6 am. He nearly drifted off to sleep when he heard a sound: a pitter patter of feet outside. Probably just a stray dog. He started drifting off again into slumber.

The door smashed in and about ten Nazi- style-storm troopers burst in with heavy weapons pointed at them. They were made to lie face down to the ground. They immediately grabbed Mildred. Carlos lifted off the ground; tried to pull them off her, but they shoved him down to the floor as if they swatted a fly. She, only half dressed, made to change quickly, teared up as they cuffed her. She looked at Carlos as they led her away.

‘I am going to get you out of this babe, said Carlos. He said it with conviction even though he didn’t know if he could help her out of this big mess. She tearfully, lovingly, eyed him as if he were a priceless piece of jewelry that she never wanted to give up. As she was led away like a wild animal, he wondered if they would ever spend quality time together again.