For A Friend

I want so desperately to believe
That our friendship is still real
But I know that I’m in denial

I torture myself over unlikely possibilities
Dreaming that you’ll start caring again
But I know that my hope is in-vain

Sometimes I lay awake at night
Playing memories of us over and over again
But I know that I should leave the past behind

Sometimes you text me out of the blue
And tell me that you want to hang out soon
But I know that soon will never come

You’ve caused me more pain than you can imagine
Sometimes all I want to do is hate you
But I know that I never will

I thought of you as my best friend
And I believed you thought of me that way too
But now I know that you never really did