the swallower 4000 - origins

(This is for CarlosWolfakaSith100. Sorry for the wait, buddy. Hope you enjoy.)


For reasons Bulma cannot possibly understand, Chi-Chi hates- hates - Vegeta.

Not the same way Chi-Chi hates Goku's laziness or absentness or even that one unfortunate merchant who tried to sell her a cheap pearl necklace for double the price- not the smartest thing to do when the woman your trying to con has a husband who can destroy planets, but Bulma digresses.

No, Chi-Chi just... doesn't like Vegeta. And Vegeta doesn't like her either, but there is a healthy dose of mild fear. Anyone brave enough to throw around Goku like he's just a normal, lazy dude is probably unhinged enough to take on a planet if they have the resources. And Chi-Chi has the resources.

Anyways, Bulma knows that. She loves her husband and she likes Chi-Chi well enough, but it is a hassle trying to mediate sometimes.

"Can't you just let me kill her?" Vegeta asks her, face blank and expressionless- his idea of 'puppy-eyes'. It doesn't work, of course, but Bulma thinks it's cute that he tries. So she pats him on the shoulder and says, "maybe just take out your anger on her husband."

So yeah. They hate each other.

But this is a little much.


-

It happens on Chi-Chi's birthday celebration. Goku isn't here, probably fighting some epic battle somewhere in the cosmos. Bulma is visiting her one on one- woman to woman- and consoling her.

"It's not fair," Chi-Chi gripes, snatching the cup of tea from Bulma's hand. Her stomach is swollen, stretching the fabric of her dress a little. "it's my birthday, and he's not here! What kind of husband- no, what kind of man-"

Bulma pats Chi-Chi's back. "I know, Chi-Chi. I know."

"he's left me for that- that slick-haired, troll-doll looking vegetable!" Chi-chi wails. Her stomach roils.

Bulma frowns. "Hey! That's my husband you're talking about."


Chi-Chi ignores her, hurriedly downing the cup of tea. Her chest rises with the movement. "Me! His beautiful, young, elegant and proper- BUUUUUURRRRGGHHPP!"

Bulma wrinkles her nose a little.

"You know what- I want revenge," she declares suddenly, slamming the cup onto the table. Bulma jumps in surprise, and slight worry because there is a tinge of mania in Chi-Chi's eyes.

"On Goku?"

"No," Chi-chi says, looking at her with fierce determination. "Goku never really learns. He won't be affected. I have a different idea. And I need your help."

Chi-chi leans in to whisper into Bulma's ear. After a few minutes, Bulma pulls away.

"You want me to do what?"

-

And because Bulma is a good friend, and because Vegeta destroyed her last invention and is not doing so great in that "how to apologize when you've severely screwed up" course he's taking on weekends, and because Chi-chi has a lot of blackmail on her, she gets to work right away.

Perks of being a housewife, apparently. You hear everything.

Anyways, the Thing is done in a week. Chi-chi is brimming with manic glee when she sees it.

"i call it... the Swallower 4000," Bulma declares proudly.

Chi-chi blinks. "You... you made four thousand of these?"

"No, there's only one. Adding a 4000 just makes it sound cooler, y'know?"

Chi-chi can agree with that. Although it;s a weird choice; in her opinion, things shouldn't have a number attached if that number isn't actually representing how long they've existed.

(Miles away, Android 18 sneezes.)

"I've got someone executing phase two of my plan," Bulma explains. "Just wait a little."

-

Android 18 arrives hours later with a Vegeta-sized sack.

Bulma furrows her brow. "That... wasn't as long as I thought it would be."

"It was easy," says Android 18. "I just told him there was someone who wanted to fight him and screw his wife back on earth. And that I had this super awesome pill that would make him stronger and definitely wouldn't put him to sleep or anything. And here we are."

She drops the sack instantly. "Well. See ya.'


Bulma looks at Android 18's retreating figure. Then at the sack.

It's honestly a miracle how Vegeta survived this long, with an ego like his. Honestly, if he didn't have powers beyond mortal comprehension he'd probably be in some rainforest, scratching his head and asking passing monkeys where the Fountain of Life was.

But anyway. It's time for possibly the most morally ambiguous thing Bulma has ever done.
-

Chi-chi's mouth practically waters when she sees Vegeta, lying on her kitchen table. his eyes are closed, but he's squirming and thrashing against the freezing-technology that he's encased in. he's wearing some weird, skin-tight suit that's supposed to ensure he isn't digested. Chi-Chi wants vengeance and power. She doesn't actually wanna kill her best friends husband.

The swallower is standing a few feet away from her. it's slick steel with a tip that looks a bit like an inhaler. Chi-Chi presses her mouth to it, inhales, and holds her breath, puffing up her cheeks for thirty seconds like Bulma had instructed.

then, she opens her mouth wide, and swallows Vegeta whole.


it's a strange experience, to say the least. Vegeta thrashes and kicks, his hands pressing against the walls of her mouth, doing nothing but coating himself in saliva. His hair has, oddly enough, been gelled down so it doesn't tickle her throat, but the rest of him is slippery and makes Chi-Chi feel full already.

He slides down easily, and Chi-Chi is overcome with a sudden wave of discomfort as her belly stretches. Vegeta is not as large as Goku, but her stomach still stretches to an almost gargantuan size.

She groans. "Oh, God."

-

Vegeta wakes up in an airtight prison. He blinks, rubbing at his head, and grimaces when he realizes he's covered in some strange fluid.

He looks around- pinkish walls and a small pond of bubbling liquid that comes up to his knees. He recalls earlier- the serum, Android 18...

Almost immediately, he realizes where he is.

"Some sort of prison," he murmurs. One that could somehow suppress his superior Saiyan powers. It's obvious- that pathetic human weakling couldn't stand a chance against him at his best, so they've imprisoned him and stripped him of his power.

Vegeta knows just what to do.

He throws back his fist, and punches the wall as hard as he can.

The fleshy thing ripples with the movement- the ground becomes unstable- all around him, the small pools of water begin to steam and bubble.

-

Chi-Chi is lounging in an armchair when she feels it.

It's hard not to- her stomach is massive, busting the seams of most of her clothes so now the only thing that even remotely fits is the largest maternity dress she owns, and even that's too tight- her breasts are outlined and her stomach protrudes. She's utterly aware of everything that happens. so when she feels pressure lift and press on the walls of her stomach, she's miffed- Vegeta can't even let her have her revenge without bothering her, apparently.

Her stomach roils and gurgles. She grimaces, reaching for a glass of water on the stand, and downing the liquid in one clear gulp. She relaxes, slumps deeper into the armchair.

Then the pressure gets worse- so worse that she groans, clutching her stomach and doubling over. Still groaning, she reaches over and gets a can of some weird alien soda that Goku likes to drink. She downs a can- and then another. And another, hoping that Vegeta will stop doing whatever he's doing and let her rest. He doesn't, obviously- Chi groans, pressing a final can to her lips, gulping down the tangy liquid and letting it run down her esophagus and into her stomach.


The second she pulls away, she feels her stomach roll and her chest get tight. A loud burp makes its way past her lips.


"BUUUGGGGHHHHHRRRRRPPP!"

A cloud of mist sets in the air. This sets of some feeling of disgust in her, but the pressure builds in her stomach and her lips and she burps again, belly rippling with the motion.

"BHUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHRRRPPPP!" Chi-chi places a hand on her chest.


She feels better though, her stomach less constricted- so Chi-Chi decides to keep it up.


She gets another can of soda- this time she gulps down a breath of air before swallowing- and belches loudly. It's much longer this time, stretching her prim mouth and causing her to lean forward.

"BHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHPPP!"


The pressure lessens even further- so she gets another can and takes dainty sips. But the order she takes then in is so quick that the gas builds up- there's a flick from inside her belly, and she burps again, loud and short and brassy.


"BHHHUUUURRGHP!"


She giggles. She cuts herself off with another burp.


-


This keeps going. It's all fun and games- until it's not.


-

By the third day, Chi-Chi starts to get tired. Vegeta has endless stamina and endless spite, and even if Chi-Chi loves her newfound freedom to be gassy, and always indulges her own stubbornness, she really can't keep this up.


The soda-drinking has backfired on her. Usually, it makes her burp a lot. But when she wakes up that morning she has a stomachache, and no amount of Pineapple Berry Fizzy Splash! is fixing it.

She pats her stomach absentmindedly when she feels movement, and burps shortly after.


"BHHHUURRRGGHP!"

It doesn't even phase her at this point. Only two more days- and then she can be as smug as she wants.

Then, she checks the calendar. She freezes, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates, at the sight of a familiar squiggle of writing. The same writing that had sent her into a fit of rage days earlier.


Oh, no. Oh no no no.


She throws on the biggest coat in the house- she recognizes it as Goku's (it wasn't even his own purchase as much as it was a 'spoils of war' gift from beating up a guy who tried to steal his food) and even that barely fits over the ginormous swell of her stomach. Vegeta moves.

Chi-Chi belches, then glares down at her belly. "Quiet!" she hisses.


And then she sprints out the door.


-


When she explains her predicament to Bulma, the woman just blinks slowly- like a cat.

"I don't get it," Bulma says. "I though you wanted Goku to pay attention to you. Why does it matter that he's coming home tonight?"

Chi-Chi stares at her incredulously. Then, in true Chi-Chi fashion- she blows up.


"What do you mean, you don't get it?! Goku is coming home. Goku is coming home and I'm a hot air balloon that can't stop leaking gas. Do you not see the problem! I'm supposed to be his young sexy and well-intentioned wife, and instead I have Vegeta inside me!"


She holds up a hand immediately when Bulma begins to open her mouth. "That was bad phrasing, I know. But I also don't care. Can you get him out or not?"


At this, there's another punch. Chi-Chi burps and then claps a hand over her mouth.


"I guess," Bulma says slowly. "But, fair warning: this is gonna be weird."

-

It is weird. Bulma walked them both back to her house, successfully maneuvering her so she didn't waddle due to the weight of her gargantuan stomach and risk the neighbors spreading gossip. She made Chi-Chi sit on the same armchair, noting it's 'perfect size'. Then she covered the walls, and floors, and everything head-to-toe with some sort of aluminum foil.

Then, she pulls out a bottle of bubble water- and shakes it until it's half foam. Chi-Chi gulps.

"Okay," Bulma says, looking disheveled. "So first we need to get the gas out. And then, we can reverse the Swallower 4000 and get you to spit out Vegeta. So. Drink up."


Chi-Chi takes a deep breath. She starts to drink.


The liquid is half foam. Her belly rolls and gurgles in a way that's almost painful and definitely uncomfortable. It slides down her esophagus and stings at the walls of her throat. Her chest rises with every gulp, her stomach gurgling with every swallow. Her belly swells and swells and swells, until it's practically tripled in size. Her tummy hurts and her chest feels tight and constricted and Vegeta has started punching again. It's almost reliving when Bulma pulls the bottle away.


A second passes, the soda settling. Another. And then Chi-Chi's cheeks swell.


"BHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!"


She feels her stomach deflate and her mouth tingles. Near the end, when the burp sounds bubblier, Bulma inserts a vaccum-like tube into her mouth. She relaxes on it, lips settling around- and then suddenly, her stomach is being upheaved and with a flash, Vegeta is lying on the floor, covered in sodas and everything Chi-Chi had binged on, and Chi-Chi's stomach has deflated.


She slumps into the chair with a groan.


"i can't believe that worked," Bulma mutters. Then, "Hey, you okay?"

"I'm going to rest," Chi-Chi says, patting her stomach. "It's been a nice few weeks, but damn."

She's out like a light. At the same time, Vegeta jumps to his feet, eyes wild.


"Where is he?" he demands, looking around. "That human vermin who imprisoned me? I swear I will make him-"

He freezes when he sees Chi-Chi lying on the chair.


"Vegeta?" Bulma questions, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He's staring ahead. Then, quietly, with what could even be an undercurrent of terror, "Bulma."

"Yes?"


"Please tell me I didn't kill Kakarot's wife."

"Kill- no, hon, she's alive, she's just... er. She's-"


"CHI-CHI!" a booming yet cheerful voice calls out from outside the house. 'I'M BACK! AND i BROUGHT GIFTS, SINCE I FORGOT YOUR- uh. I BROUGHT GIFTS!"


Vegeta stares at the door, still covered in regurgitated soda. Then he looks at unconscious Chi-Chi.


Then he scoops Bulma up and runs.