Coffee

Coffee

“Let’s get coffee,” Ted said for lack of anything better to say.

“OK,” Sandy said, without emotion.

Why had he even asked her out, he wondered, for the billionth time.

As soon as they entered, he noticed the sign over the counter. “Call Zig,” in giant letters, though the name of the coffee shop was Star Blazers Coffee. He turned to Sandy to make a funny comment, but she was staring at it like it was made of gold.

Taken aback, he just said, “Do you want anything else, besides coffee?”

She looked up at him as if she’d just won the lottery. “Yes!” she said, “Apple pie!”

So he ordered coffee and apple pie for them both.

When their order came, Sandy immediately picked up her pie, the whole piece, and spoke to it. “I’m ready.”

Ted had just enough time to roll his eyes before everything went gray. Then suddenly he sort of woke up in a gray room. Sandy was there talking to another person.

“I thought you said get a male!”

“No, I said get mail, like letters, magazines, junk!”

“Oh... to fuel the Aston Corzonator. I’m sorry! I could have had that stuff back in a bing!”

“That’s fine, but what are we going to do with this?” he pointed to Ted.

“Can I keep him as a pet?”

“I guess...” and they both disappeared in puffs of smoke.

Ted just sat there. He didn’t know what to do. He was apparently now the pet of a puff of smoke! He got up and looked around, falling immediately into his swimming pool, and waking up.

“No more gin!” he swore, pounding water out of his ears. As he dragged himself into the house to change, a small puff of smoke seemed to follow him in.