Hooked

Hooked

Lunch with friends, how lovely, everybody says...

First, they’re work friends. We know each other, we like each other, I guess that counts as friends. I do like working with them. Going out together? Not my cup of tea.

I’m happy discussing work with them. Even discussing other workers with them! At work. When Jen started sneaking out with Mr. Benson, it was the talk at every break. I was delighted to be included!

But this is that same bunch, only talking about their life, their families, likes, dislikes. No subject seems to be taboo here! I’m in over my head! How did I ever agree to this. I want to crawl under a rock and hide, but there are no rocks in this restaurant. We are all sitting around a large round table and right now everyone is telling their biggest pet peeve. In two more people it will be my turn. Panic! Panic!

I hate being the center of attention! I hate small talk! I hate making telephone calls, or even answering telephones! I hate being in crowds. I hate surprises! Help! I’m next!!!!

“Lauren’s turn! Lauren, what is your pet peeve?”

“Umbrella.”

“Ah? Umbrella?” Jean says, confused.

“Yes,” I say, “I hate the way they never open when you need them, but then they pop open for no reason sometimes, and scare the beegeesus out of you!”

Everyone laughed. EVERYONE LAUGHED! What did I even say??? Did I really just say my pet peeve was an umbrella? It doesn’t even matter, they’ve moved on to Sandy sitting next to me.

I survived! I will never, ever, allow myself to fall into this trap again! No more Girl’s Lunch Out ever for me!

Though... that was kind of fun, you know, when everyone laughed at my umbrella comment...