Naming of the Elves

Prompt: Santa explains why he named his top 12 elves.

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“Ho-ho-ho, greetings from the Pole,”

“Merry Christmas Santa, thanks for agreeing to do the interview.”

“I hope I can be of some help to your Magazine.”

“It’s a school journal called: The Jungle Gym Gazette; the mag that makes a monkey out of fake-news. I’m Ace Reporter, Billy Dune.”

“So what would you wish to talk about, Billy?”

“Word around the playground is; you named some elves.”

“Ah, yes. I gave names to my twelve highest performing elves: Partridge, Dove, Henry, Tweet, Ringi, Honks, Suwannee, Maiden, Dancelot, Leaps, Piper and Drumstick.”

"Um, are those names from:TheTwelve Days of Christmas?"

"Clever boy! I'm hoping artists will write songs and stories about them,"

"Artists can’t steal other people's stories and songs to make new ones. Plaguepurising's naughty."

"I'm sure they'll find aways around it,"

“Wouldn't even be a problem if they kept their elf names?”

“The elvish language is complicated and very hard to pronounce.”

“No point even trying?”

“Yes – er, no, that is to say-“


" Did the named elves get a pay-rise or something?"

“Elves don’t get paid; Christmas smiles on children’s faces are their reward.”

“Do you think their new names will make children smile sweeter?”

“I’m not sure,”

“So, lazy elves don’t get named?”

“No,”

“Why would a lazy elf work harder, if his only reward was having his name changed?”

“And a special green jacket,”

“Why green? I thought red was more Christmassy.”

“Green is the colour of Christmas trees,”

“Oh. Do you have a Christmas tree?”

“Why yes,”

“Who puts presents under it?”

“I get presents from Mrs Claus and the elves.”

“Do you give presents to the elves?”

“The spirit of Christmas lives in giving, more than receiving.”

“Do ya think I could get a job in your factory, when I grow up?”

“You’re not an elf,”

“So?”

“By the time children grow up, they have stopped believing in me. Elves know I exist; because they spend their whole lives working there.”

“Their whole lives?”

“Yes,”

“Maybe I’ll stick to being a reporter.”

“Clever boy,”

“My readers would like to know what you get up to, when it’s not Christmas.”

“I tend to the reindeer and maintain the factory. Managing my lists is a full time job. I use a tablet now.”

“Do you and Mrs Claus have holidays?”

“Sometimes we visit the Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy.”

“Do you take the sleigh?”

“No, we use magic transport, fuelled by environmentally friendly pixie-dust.”

“Where do Pixie’s get their dust?”

“I'm afraid that’s a secret.”

“Whatever. Look, I’ve probably got enough for the essay now. It was like great to talk to ya. Thanks for giving up your time.”

“It’s been a pleasure, Billy. Do send me a copy when you’re finished.”

“This is Billy Dune, Ace Reporter for The Jungle Gym Gazette, wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas and awesome New Year.”

“Ho-ho-ho; Merry Christmas!”

-Ends Here-