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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Dark · #2263027
This tale is not to be misconstrued as a bedtime story for your underaged children.
         Spectre didn't much care for Jack Frost. The guy is a bit of a trickster with a wicked side. Although, his annual dinner parties were always memorable. He just hoped that Jack wasn't gunning for him this year. Last year the Easter Bunny got roasted. Not cooked in the literal sense, but the poor critter was the brunt of every joke as well as the fall guy for many shenanigan's that only Jack knew how to bring to bear.

         Spectre wasn't really up to this tonight, especially considering how poorly his vacation had played out. He thought to himself for at least the fifth time, Old boy you just need to relax a bit, have a laugh or two with old friends. With that he found himself rapping on Jack's front door. Jack, in his usual flamboyant self, threw the door wide with such force it banged into the opposing wall with a sudden boom.

"Oh it's you Grim. You're almost late to the party. I'm so glad you could make it.", He proclaimed!

         Spectre decided he was going to get out in front of this before it escalated and said, "Jack, we're old friends so, you can call me Grim or Reaper, but you know that I prefer Spectre. The one thing you can never call me is LATE. Death is never late." True statement, as death is always and ever punctual.

         Jack's beaming smile dimmed a bit, but being quick of wit he replied, "Spectre my old friend, I did not mean to offend. I have no bones to pick with Death. I will admit, because I know how you are with time, I did intentionally mark your invitation half an hour later than everyone else to make it appear that you arrived tardy. Sometimes I can't help myself to an inside joke."

         Grinning slightly, "Jack, It's fine. It's fine. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just a bit testy. Work has been hanging heavy on me of late. I'm even Okay with your private joke, but as you can see I'm still on time. You going to invite me in, or what?

"Of course, come in, come in. So we're all good?"

"Yes, yes we are. I'll behave myself for now on."

"Spectre, your nothing if not a courteous guest. You remember your way to the ballroom, correct? Please go and join the rest of my guest while I go and check on our dinner preparations."

"Sure Jack, I know my way."

         As he watched Jack pirouette and skip off down the long hall, he stripped off his hooded cape and hung it on the coat rack next to a red jacket that could only belong to none other than the infamous, Santa Claus...Unmistakable.

         Despite being here a number of times he was always amazed at Jack's palatial mansion. Everything twinkled and refracted light. It was the Frost manor and it lived up to it's name. Following in jack's foot steps towards the ballroom, Spectre began to think back to his origins as the minister of Death. Spectre was the OG of Death. (For those not informed, OG = Old Guy. Spectre always keeps up with the modern slang.) He'd been here from the beginning, from when Hominids first became self aware.

         Back then the population was sparse at best and he had no problem keeping up with the accretion rate. Then the populations bloomed to a point where he was hard pressed to keep up. It became increasingly inhumane to expect one being to keep up with the proliferation of human deaths. They were breeding in clans and going to war. Multiple deaths were occurring simultaneously. It came to a point where he couldn't be everyone's guide to the afterlife. What a horrible place the Earth would be having untold number of wandering souls if they didn't have an escort. He finally went to management with his statistics and convinced them that they would have to create an army of deaths to keep up. They conceded and created the Death Squad. He had mentored all the new acolytes back in the day.

         With these thoughts, he did eventually circle back around to his fellow immortal, Jack Frost. Ole' Frosty was as permanent an entity as himself, certainly as long back as he could remember. The higher elevations always seemed to lend itself to Frost's existence. Although, back then he didn't have as wide a range as he does today. Then he thought, Who came first, Frost or Death? Shit...I don't even know.

         Speaking of immortals, Spectre entered the ballroom to be greeted by one of the largest contingent of immortals to gather in one place. There were Leprechauns, Dragons, Elves, Ogres, Minor Gods, Demigods, Demons and more. He had to give it to Jack, he knew how to pack a house.

         Spectre now knew that many of the immortals were willed into being through their human believers. The number of immortals had grown over the years. Despite being called immortal, it wasn't strictly a true statement, Spectre had seen many entities simply fade away. For instance Odin, who was attending tonight, used to be a raucous life of the party. Tonight he was just a shade of what he used to be. Then it struck him, if humankind were ever go extinct, he himself would cease to exist. He then thought with a smile, Frosty could eventually be the last man standing...As far as immortals go. Who would he prank then, the Wind, the Sun, the Moon?

         As Spectre caroused and maneuvered through the crowd, he actually started to enjoy himself. There were a couple of new faces, but he mostly backslapped, hugged and joked with those that he knew best. As he made his way toward the center of the crush he finally spotted Old Saint Nick, Santa Claus. Claus was holding a crowd around him in center court of the ball room. After all, it twas his season.

         Spectre strolled over to greet the Jolly Elf. Just as he was giving the Great Gent a hardy hand shake and hug, a ephemeral shadow was cast upon them both as elegance personified appeared beside them, it was none other than, The Tooth Fairy.

         Spectre didn't know her true name, but it never really mattered. He had bumped into her time and again through the course of their vocations. In extended families, a child loses a tooth and that very same night a family elder passes on. It happens, not that one thing has anything to do with the other.

         Immortals didn't go through an infancy or adolescence, they basically popped into existence. There was no teething or tooth loss. He couldn't help but thinking, Man, I'd pop out a tooth or two to get a light night visit from the Tooth Fairy. And then he realized, Dude, you are becoming a bit lecherous.

         As he was having a couple of laughs with Santa and the Tooth Fairy. The ballroom doors banged open and Jack strutted in like he owned the place. Well technically he does, so it's allowed. Jack immediately started working the crowd. Spectre kept an eye on him to see if he could discern who his next victim would be.

         Jack eventually made his way to the center of the ballroom to join them. As he did, he made his greetings, "Ah Toothy I'm so glad you could come. You always manage to brighten this place up. And Spectre we caught up earlier. Are you enjoying yourself?" With short brevity he added, "Hi Santa."

         Spectre couldn't believe it, as alarm bells went off in his head, He called her Toothy. If Jack went after the Tooth Fairy, he was pretty sure he was going to go off schedule and outside of the bylaws. Spectre would take one Mr. Jack Frost for a long stroll. Spectre wasn't sure if there was an afterlife for immortals, but he didn't care. Besides, with global warming, nobody would miss the fact that Frost had disappeared.

         Just then, a deep reverberating gong sounded. For all of the long time guests of this gathering, they all knew the gong meant, "Dinner is served". Like cattle, they all joined the que leaving the ballroom towards the grazing grounds of the dining room.

         Spectre found himself seated as usual to Jack's left, at the head of the table. Surprisingly, Santa was seated to his right and the Tooth fairy was seated in the next chair down just to the right of Santa. To Spectre's left was none other than The Fairy Godmother. He couldn't help but think, This is a strange mix.

         The meal progressed in a number of courses. Spectre did notice that his table mate, Santa was tucking in to every plate. While the two fairies at the table were picking at their plates like birds.

         As the latest course came to an end, conversations started up again. Spectre overheard Jack ask Santa, "So Nicholas, what's your workload look like this year."

"It's pretty much the same as the last couple of years. The problem is all the kids want more and more is electronics. I can't keep up with the demand with the chip shortage. There's probably going to be some disappointed kids this Christmas. I'm going to have to deliver a lot of the old school toys this year, tops, yoyos, balls and table games."

"Ah, here comes the main course, It's a magical stew. I'm sure you're going to enjoy this Nicholas."

         Licking his lips Sant replied, "I so enjoy a good stew."

         The stew was ladled out into bowls and placed in front of all the guests. Santa had his spoon at the ready and started digging in a soon as his bowl was placed in front of him. Spectre tried a couple of spoonful's as well, but found the flavor a bit gamey for his tastes and set his spoon aside. As he did he noticed that Jack had not even touched his stew and was watching Santa intently. As soon as Santa finished his dish and set his spoon aside, Jack inquired, "So Nick, speaking of disappointed, am I on your naughty list?"

         The Jolly Gents mouth dropped open before he replied, "Why Jack, I don't even know what your talking about?"

"I'm talking about how, over all these years that we've known each other, I have never once received a gift from Santa Claus."

"Jack, I thought you knew that I only cater to the human inhabitants of Earth."

"Regardless Nick, I think a little deference to your elders would only be appropriate. Spectre and I have been here from nearly the beginning. Spectre, have you ever received a gift from our revered friend?"

Spectre grunted and then replied, "I have no need for gifts. I don't need the extra baggage. I travel light. No, no gifts."

         Jack followed up, "So, Nick, understand my point of view. It would have been nice if you had just made a gesture to acknowledge us. You have been to my little galas for years now. I do this for the camaraderie of my fellows in this season of giving. Even in reciprocation you could have made a quick stop here on Christmas eve and left me a little something in appreciation.

         Spectre had to hand it to Santa Claus. He could tell the Elf was getting a little heated as the rosy color of his nose gradually spread through his cheeks and started edging down his throat. If it had been himself on the hot seat, he would already be cursing up a storm. Instead Claus simply replied, "Jack, I'm sorry you feel slighted."

"I'm sure that you are.", said Jack. "Did you enjoy the stew tonight Nicolas? It was special just for you."

"Yes, it was superb, thank you."

"I'm happy you did enjoy it as this venison stew was cooked with special ingredients. You see, your reindeer were generous donors to this stew. Lets see, ah yes, there was Donner the donor, with a little dash of Cupid. I'm sorry that came out wrong. The donors to tonight's venison stew is Donner, Dasher and Cupid. Obviously not our own Cupid, as he's sitting down here to my left."

Santa's rosy color began morphing to a sickly green, he blurted, "Jack what have you done?"

"I told you the stew was special for you. I guess this means, I'm officially on your naughty list now. You can keep your gifts."
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