The Law of the Cat

Leave the dog out in the fog
If it's my chair, you don't sit there
If I pee, you clean the floor, when I want out you open the door
You're the fools and I make all the rules.

When I want to munch you serve lunch
If I bring you a dead rat you appreciate that
If I chew your shoe, don't yell just coo
You're the fools and I make all the rules.

If I'm asleep don't you dare make a peep
I'll shed my hair here there and everywhere
When I'm bored I'll type nonsense on your keyboard
You're the fools and I make all the rules.

If I sharpen my claw or the teeth in my jaw
On your furniture, don't give me a lecture
If i scratch your annoying guest, don't say I'M the pest
You're the fools and I make all the rules.

If I eat your plants or even your pants
If I think it good to gobble up your food
Just get yourself another dinner, or maybe just get thinner
You're the fools and I make all the rules.

If I am naughty or proud and haughty
If I'm crazy or just plain lazy
Don't try to make me change, there's nothing you can rearrange
You're the fools and I make all the rules.

If at the end of the day you can still say
You love me yet and I'm your darling pet
I can mew in harmony with you
Cause you're no fool - you know I make all the rules!