And Now I Feel Gratitude

Fourteen years ago,
she left us
Without even saying goodbye.
For the first three days,
I was in shock,
I couldn't even cry.

"I have no mother any more,"
I told myself
Trying to make it real
Dad and I hugged each other
Wanting desperately
To heal.

As the days and weeks passed
I learned to adapt
Hidden abilities started showing up
"I can do that for myself!"
At thirty-nine
I was growing up.

I made decisions, I took charge
I learned
To be responsible
She had always stepped in for me
Now I found that I
Was capable.

I'm a different person now
Still her little girl
But with a new attitude.
Did she go so I could grow?
Did she know?
All I feel is gratitude.

It took years but finally
The realization dawned
She left this Earth to help me grow
I had to find the hidden strength
The abilities
I did not know.