Hornetz

Hornetz

“Hello, Hornet.”

“It’s Zeke, ztrickly zpeaking. Hornet’z my zurname.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. My name’s Lando, by the way. But what brings you to these parts, Zeke?”

“Noztalgia moztly. Zat nezt up zere iz my family’z from lazt year.”

“I see. Are you not living there this year?”

“Zoickz, what an idea! We hornetz build a new nezt every zpring. Zavez on zpring cleaning, you zee.”

“Excellent idea! Although I’m not sure there’s less work in building a home.”

“Well, its eazy for uz hornetz az we build from zpit moztly. Old Zazparilla, who can’t zay hiz zeez properly, he’z brilliant at it. A total zpit fountain, he iz.”

“Nice work if you can get it, I suppose.”

“Zat’z true. You humanz make zuch a fuzz over houzez. Or it zeemz zat way whenever I buzz pazt a building zite.”

“Guilty as charged, I’m afraid. But I don’t think we’d get far if we tried building with spit. Ours isn’t as umm, sticky as yours.”

“Zat zeemz really ztrange. Can’t underztand what we’d do wizout zpit, I can’t.”

“I guess it’s the old thing of one man’s meat is another’s poison. If you’ll pardon the expression, of course.”

“That’z fine, I don’t have anyzing againzt humanz and zeir zayingz. Although you’re ze firzt I’ve had a converzation with, I muzt admit. Mozt humanz would go zhit crazy if I zpoke to zem.”

“But you’re speaking to me. Why’s that?”

“Ah, Lando, zat’z coz I know you.”

“You do?”

“Yez. Zat nezt up zere, we know zat you protected it from uzzer humanz. We watched you all zummer exzplaining to zem zat we’re not like wazpz. Nazty, ztupid creaturez zat zey are. We don’t zting wizout good reazon, like wazpz do.”

“You saw all that, did you? Well, I’m glad I did, Zeke. Nobody got stung and you guys lived in peace up there.”

“Which remindz me. I know you’ve had trouble wiz caterpillarz munching on your tomato plantz ziz year. Notized a big, fat one in zat plant right zere, a few minutez ago. You wanna deal wiz zat baztard quick or zere’ll be no tommiez for you ziz zeazon.”

“Hey, you’re right! That is a big one. Better get rid of him toot sweet. Thanks for that, Zeke.”

“Hey, it’z ze leazt I can do. Zat’z what good neighbourz are for. Tell you what, zink of it az payment for your kindnezz lazt year. Zorta Androclez and ze lion zing, if you zee what I mean. Only it’z a hornet inztead of a lion ziz time.”


Word count: 425
For The Dialogue 500 Contest, May 2021
Prompt: You're Outside Talking to the Birds and the Bees.