The Toaster Incident

The Toaster Incident

“Alright, pick out one, we need to get a new toaster today. I’m not going without a toaster for even one more day!”

“Absolutely, I agree. Why don’t you pick one out?” Dan said to his wife Angie.

“Well, I thought you actually do most of the toasting, you might have some preferences. But, sure I’ll pick one if you want. I like this one.”

“That costs too much!”

“OK, well, this one is nice too.”

“It’s a toaster Angie, not a stove! How can they think they can charge this much for a toaster?”

“It’s a really nice toaster, it’s a toaster oven.”

“Well, we don’t need a toaster oven, we just need a toaster that toasts.”

“But what about when you want to toast those grilled cheese sandwiches. Like that last one that messed up the old toaster...”

“I didn’t know the cheese would drip so bad.”

“Well, this one toasts flat so you don’t have to worry about drips! You can toast anything!”

“But it’s so expensive!”

“Aren’t you the same guy who buys a lottery ticket every week, and loses...”

“We might win...”

“And if we buy this toaster, we will win, every day. We will win toast, and grilled sandwiches, and happy breakfasts and happy lunches, and a happy wife, and we can go home, and never shop together ever again...”

“Gee, this looks like the perfect toaster! Let’s buy this one!” Dan said, suddenly realizing he was walking on rocky ground.

“Good idea,” Angie said, picking it up and heading for the checkout.

As Dan watched her go, a guy standing nearby said, “Shopping is so educational, you can learn all about the products, and how to save a marriage in one fell swoop!”

Dan didn’t think it was all that funny.