An Abductee's Small 'Memoir'

An Abductee's Small 'Memoir'

My childhood hasn't been what most people would call... normal. Why exactly that is, is because of the following reason. I... was an alien abductee.

Yeah, you heard me right.

While nearly every other kid in town was busy playing games like hide-n-seek and tag after school has ended, I would spend my time getting taken up into space while aliens would do who-knows-what to me. This happens to me every single time, no matter what I even do. Why this had to happen to me, I honestly have no clear idea.

It just sort of happened, you know.

For those of you out there that want to know more, I'll be more than happy to give you what you want. That way, it can also help me get this off my chest. Hopefully.

My name is Thomas. Thomas Belkman. I am currently 23 years old, and have been living in the suburbs for about 5 years now. I also have autism just to let you know.

I was about... let's say 4-5 when the abductions began. My parents had just gone out for the evening, leaving me in the house by myself. The babysitter had gotten sick and won't be able to come for a while. That means I have to be inside the house by myself, for a few hours.

I was in the middle of coloring in a coloring book (it's one of my favorite activities to do), when I heard a humming sound coming from outside my bedroom window. At first, I didn't know what it was or where it was coming from. I stood up and looked outside, all the while covering my ears to make it quieter for me.

When I did managed to find the source of the humming, I felt myself losing consciousness and blacking out within 10 seconds.

By the time I woke up, I was outside the house lying on the grass in the backyard. At that point, I was confused about how I even got outside in the first place. There was no way I could've gone out by myself, since I was knocked out in my room. And my parents haven't even come back home because I would've seen their car pull up on the driveway.

I also lost about 30 minutes' worth of my time, too. How I knew is because I checked the clock when I went back inside.

What exactly had happened in that half hour, I can't even remember. It's almost like something is... cutting the memories of it off from me.

Ever since then, these have been occurring to me almost on daily basis. And they've always gone into these peculiar sets of patterns I've managed to figure out over the years. They are always the following:

Whenever I'm outside, I get this, "urge" of sorts, to walk around my neighborhood until I would find myself in an open area. Usually it would be either the baseball field or large clearing in the woods. I wander about until I get to one of those two particular places (whichever one is the most empty, now that I think about it). Once I get to my intended location, I black out.

When I wake up, I find that my clothes have been soaked by some sort of liquid. I wasn't even sure if it's anything found on this planet or not, but I didn't want to find out.

At night, a sudden flash of blinding whit light would pop up near my bedroom window the moment I even fall asleep. My body would then float out of my room through it, and right up into whatever spacecraft is even waiting for me.

It's uh... quite repetitive to the point of being ridiculous. No joke.

But what truly scares me the most about these daily abductions, were the constant series of nightmares being produced from them. I've never felt so much fear in my young life at that point, because of what I feel and experience in my dreams. They all feel so real, somehow. At the time, I just didn't know what to when they showed up.

I find myself strapped to a hospital gurney, being carried through a long silver hallway. It feels like it goes on for miles, due to how hazy my head is feeling at the moment. I also read that aliens tend to "turn off" a person's body, rendering them unable to move a single inch of it. 'Cause throughout the dream, it's EXACTLY what is happening to me.

I can't move, or even speak for that matter. I'm just frozen stiff, on a gurney, being led to an unknown destination by seemingly invisible hands. Like something out of a horror movie, only much more realistic.

About halfway through the trek, a loud cacophony of screeches and yells could be heard coming out of nowhere, and start to bombard my young eardrums all at once. I could barely hold on to my sanity, with all of that noise. Where is it all coming from? How long do I have to endure it for? Will it ever stop?

Before any of those questions could be answered, the screeches stop as soon as I reach my intended destination.

A hospital-like room, surrounding by blinding white light.

Something about being in this place, I just don't know what, fills me with immense dread. It's only after what happens next that I really understand the feeling.

Slowly but surely standing over my prone body, are a group of four aliens that look to be a mixture of the stereotypical greys and the ones from the movie Fire in the Sky. Looking down at me with those dark soulless eyes for only a mere moment, before they turn their gazes toward each other, it's like they're examining me. Which, to my horror, they are.

From what I can gather from the alien language that quote unquote, "doctors" are saying, it would seem they're talking about doing some examinations on me. I'm not sure how I was able to understand them, but I was way too scared to even think about it. Call it a gut feeling, if you would.

After finishing their little discussion, they each hold up a bizarre looking tool in one of their hands. These tools look frighteningly similar to the ones from David Cronenberg's Dead Ringers. (I honestly didn't make this comparison until years later, when I watched it with my cousin.)

The last thing that I see before waking up screaming, would always be the alien "doctors" getting ready to use those tools to perform some sort of... surgery on me.

Every single night I get this nightmare, and every single one of them ends with that image of those things getting ready to do who-knows-what to my prone body. Over and over and over again. Like I said, repetitive to the point of being ridiculous.

But what's even worse than having to wake up screaming my little lungs for 3 seconds straight, are the constant headaches following after. They always feel like I'm getting my head clamped inside a vise, its jaws constantly tightening themselves on it. They even get worse as I try to remember everything that has happened during my abductions, to my chagrin. No matter how hard I try, I just can't remember. The headaches would only get in the way. Every. Single. Time.

It's almost as if, I don't know, something is trying to prevent me from finding out what has happened while I was up there in the spacecraft. Later on, I found out that aliens would typically cut off their abductee's memories of their time being abducted. Why they do this is most likely to keep their actions secret from the public.

Yeah, like that would help in the slightest.

Nine years of being abducted daily. That's how long this has been happening to me. Nine whole years of having to get constantly taken from my home without my knowledge or even my consent.

The worst part? There isn't anything I could do about it. At all.

All that I could do is just wait for it to end, so that I could live a normal life.

Until, one day, it just stopped.

Not a week has gone by since the day I turned 13, and all of a sudden the abductions have just stopped.

Words just can't describe the feeling of happiness coursing through me right at that moment. It almost felt like a long nightmare that I've had to endure has finally been over.

Now I can finally live a normal life, at last. And that's precisely what I've been doing for the next ten years. I went on with my schooling, graduated, then moved into my new home in the suburbs.

Not once did I ever talk about being abducted to anybody. I just didn't think that anyone would believe me even if I tried. Plus, I just wanted to let it go and move on.

The thing about experiencing something like what I had to go through, is that it could happen to anybody at any time and any place. As for what they might do to whoever they take into their spacecraft, that's a different story altogether. Everyone had a different story about their experiences, so they've had to deal with something different from mine.

What exactly motivated me to tell people this was a simple conversation I had with my dad almost two weeks ago. We were in the middle of doing some repairs to their house following a rather nasty storm the night before. Parts of the roof had been blown clean off, leaving a rather large hole in the process.

My dad and I have been going at it with hammering the wood boards to the roof when he started bringing up something from his childhood. At first, I only half listened to what he's said. That is, until I caught something from his time with the Boy Scouts when he was eleven years old.

He was gathering some firewood for his troop, when he stumbled upon something metallic sticking out of the ground. As he got closer to it, he began noticing some kind of glow coming from it. By the time he got to the object and picked it up out of the ground, the glow had immediately stopped.

The part about that discovery Dad had made that scares me, was that he said it looked alien in origin. Even more so when I asked if it looked like something from Dead Ringers and he'd said "yeah, a lot".

He then went on about how after that, he'd find himself in the middle of the woods whenever he wakes up in the days after. Luckily for him, it only had happened to him for about a year.

Like he'd normally would with any stressful situation (as any dad would, no doubt), he'd joke about it for a bit. It's sort of like his own coping mechanism in a way. I honestly really don't know.

After telling me that story, he then went on and asked, "Did you remember anything of what 'they' did to you when they took you up there?"

That question caused me to stiffen from head to toe, as I was just about to hammer another nail in when he said that. After a moment or two of just acting like a statue, I stopped what I was doing and turned all my attention to him. I was gonna ask him if he knew about what had happened to me when I was a kid, when he then said, "Before you ask, yes I knew it's happened to you."

"Well, why didn't you tell me?" I asked, both curious and angry about what he's been hiding from me.

"I didn't think it would happen to any of my family up until then," he answered. "And I thought you'd be afraid I wouldn't believe you. Was I right on the dot about that, Thomas?"

I nodded at that, confirming what he'd said as well as admitting what I felt.

"Does Mom know about it too?"

"Just a little. Women's intuition you know."

"Okay, but why was it happening to me constantly like that? I just don't understand."

"Beats me," he shrugs. "I once read online that stuff like this still happens to some folks out there."

"Yeesh," I remarked. "And to answer your question, no I can't remember what has been happening to me whenever I'm up in that spacecraft of theirs. Every time I do though, I always get this aggravating headache."

"That happens to some people. No need to worry about it."

After a few awkward moments, we decided to drop the conversation then and there. I think it was best not to dwell upon it any longer.

But still, I just find it hard to believe that my childhood was spent like that. Out of all the things I expected to happen to me, being abducted on a near daily basis was not what I had in mind. Then again, beggars can't be choosers as the saying goes.

Even as I write this, I'm still haunted by some unanswered questions looming through the dark corners of my mind. What were they doing to me up there? Why would they even do it to me? More importantly, has anyone else that's been abducted experienced the exact same thing as me?

Well, I suppose there are some things in this world that're best left alone.

They might drive some people insane if they dig way too deep.