Anonymous: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

“In the midway of this our mortal life,

I found me in a gloomy wood, astray

Gone from the path direct: and e’en to tell,

It were no easy task, how savage wild

That forest, how robust and rough its growth,

Which to remember only, my dismay

Renews, in bitterness not far from death.

Yet, to discourse of what there good befel,

All else will I relate discover’d there.”

In England at the beginning of the nineteenth century there were, perhaps, a few thousand ”lunatics” housed in a variety of disparate institutions but by the beginning of the twentieth century that figure had grown to about 100,000. That this growth should coincide with the growth of alienism, now known as psychiatry, as a medical specialism is not coincidental.

Walking that path is not easy for any medical intern, even if they willingly applied for a job that involves mentally disabled people. Psychology is the study of behavior and mind, embracing all aspects of human experience, or at least that’s what it says on every article on the internet and you can find at the beginning of every psychology book. For every psychologist, his profession means something more, something less or something else.

Psychology students tend sometimes to work internships in Medical Institutions or Asylums, under the careful supervision of a specialist doctor.

For Ava Atkins, the Medical Institute of Mental Health in Nottingham represented the beginning of a new life and new responsibilities. As of last month, September 13th, Miss Atkins completed her studies and signed up for the internship program at Nijinsky Hospital, named after the greatest male dancer of his era, famous for his intense performances, gigantic leaps, and ability to dance on his toes, something uncommon among male dancers at the time.

When he took to choreographing ballets, his modern take on the dance led to a riot. By the time Nijinsky was 26, the symptoms of his disease were affecting his work. He spent the rest of his life in and out of mental hospitals, often going weeks at a time without saying a word, it said in an article. Somehow, that grabbed Ava’s attention and she asked her professor to put a good word for her.

Now, a week later, Ava was walking up the stairs to an enormous hospital that looked more intimidating by each passing moment. Ava showed her student card and the bodyguard opened the front door for her to enter. Once inside, she had to find the nurse in charge of her internship papers and sign a few files, just in case she would get hurt during her time inside the hospital.

The nurse standing at the front desk was talking on the phone, her bushy eyebrows furrowed in a frown. She was quite robust and small with a face that seemed asymmetrical but Ava was sure she had enough force to knock her off her feet; easily at that.

Ava swayed from one foot to the other, squeezing the handle of her purse tightly. She wasn’t nervous necessarily but it was intimidating, especially after the episode from her last visit to a mental hospital. It wasn’t everyday her teacher would take them out on the field but whenever she did, there would be a patient waiting by the door, swaying from side to side with eyes dark like a demon’s and scary behavior. Of course, those were rare patients and psychiatrists would take those cases before a psychologist could blink but it was strange to know that a person could inflict so much fear without being aware of it.

“Miss Atkins,”

Ava shuddered before she raised her head and met the squinted eyes of the head nurse. Having a better look at her face, the nurse was really chubby and had such a strong gaze that even a doctor would shudder under her stare.

“You’re here for the internship, ay? Not many of you come around; not after what happened to the last one.” The nurse continued, walking around the desk towards the young psychologist. Ava was ready to ask what happened to the last intern but the nurse interrupted, “Come this way. You will be assisting Dr. Adelaide and will do exactly as she says. You can stay here for as long as you want but never after curfew. You have the liberty to wander on your own only in this side of the building but you should be careful how you act or what you say around certain patients.”

As the nurse was explaining the rules, Ava couldn’t think of anything but how many ‘buts’ there were after every ‘can’. With the last sentence memorized, Ava started to look around and see exactly the place she was going to work in, even as a mere intern. The walls were white and the halls were completely empty except the casual chairs here and there; every room was closed with an electrical code and the doors were metallic so no one could get out or get in; most doors didn’t have a window but Ava remarked that most of them had at least one big glass adorning half of the wall where you could watch what was inside but the ones locked in could not see anything outside.

As they were getting further into the hospital, walking up the stairs to the first floor, Ava remarked that rooms were getting smaller and smaller with no glass and no windows whatsoever. The doors were metallic but they were locked with a special card that only certain nurses had.

On the first floor, the walls were a dark grey but it didn’t seem like it mattered with how grumpy the patients looked. Ava came around lunch and the patients were getting their meds before going to their group meetings. That was probably where the nurse was taking her- to Dr. Adelaide’s group meeting.

“Here,” The nurse started before pointing towards what looked like a sad waiting room, “Is the relaxation room. Patients come here for entertainment and where you, as an intern, have to be careful how you sit, how you speak and how you look. It would be better if you would not draw attention to yourself.” The woman finished and glowered at Ava over her shoulder before continuing to walk.

The room, in itself was simple and the only entertainment sources were an old piano in the corner, a table with a pack of cards on each side and chairs. In the far back, under the windows, was a long low table with stuff on it that Ava couldn’t quite recognize.

“Miss Atkins,”

The nurse was a few feet down the hall already when she realized the young intern was taking too long to get acquainted with the room. Ava snapped her head to the direction the voice came from and gasped before rushing after the nurse. The older woman rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath; words that could probably make Ava feel unwanted. It didn’t matter as they finally arrived at their destination. The door was cracked but Ava could see and hear Dr. Adelaide speaking.

The nurse opened the door wider and the room became silent. Dr Adelaide was a tall woman in her mid thirties with an elegant flair and long blonde hair. Ava was a bit jealous how professional and feminine the doctor looked compared to her who had average height and looks.

The nurse nudged Ava inside before she closed the door and left. With slow uncertain steps, Ava walked right through the middle of the circle and sat on the available chair next to the doctor.

“Hello, Miss Atkins. It’s a pleasure to have you assist me during the group meetings.” Dr. Adelaide begun before turning to the five awaiting and curious patients, “This is Dr. Atkins and she will watch and contribute to our meetings from now on. Let’s welcome her,” she said and everyone started to clap.

Ava was confused and embarrassed so she smiled awkwardly and fidgeted until Dr. Adelaide spoke again.

“Good. Now let’s continue our session.” she said and turned to the boy two seats from Ava. “Tell us what you have done today, Matthew.”



After 5 Years

Recent reports have disclosed new information about the attacks in Paris and Belgium. The authorities do not want to give us many details but as far as we are concerned, the next attack can happen anywhere.

As of late-

It was mid April and Spring has definitely settled down in London, sudden changes in the weather included.

The door to a small yet fancy office opened enough for a petite woman to stick her head and smile softly at her boss, “Dr. Atkins, your patient is here.”

The announcement forced Dr. Atkins to turn off the television across her desk and get up. The door closed only to open a few moments later, a teenage boy walking in awkwardly.

“Nice to see you Isaac. How has your weekend been?” She asked politely, her brown eyes staring straight into his blue ones.

The boy was tall and looked very mature for his age but inside, he was a scared boy with trust issues and a disorder that wasn’t making it easy for him to open up and socialize.

“N-Not well. I’m preparing for the college entrance exam and it got worse.” Isaac started, moving towards the leather couch and sitting on it as close as possible to the door.

Ava nodded, already aware how much stress college entrance examinations could be, especially for students with agoraphobia (fear of crowds) and atychiphobia (fear of failure).

“It’s going to be alright, Isaac. Remember our exercise?” she asked, taking a few steps towards the young student. “Well?” Ava urged.

Isaac breathed in and out slowly, fidgeting nervously, “No matter what happens, life is a path full of options. I can always try again and choose what is right for me.”

Ava blinked and tilted her head to the side, confused how Isaac actually memorized what she told him last week.

“That too but I did say something easier.”

Isaac’s eyes widened and he swallowed nervously, thinking that he didn’t understand the point of their last discussion, “I-I-“

Ava sighed and sat next to Isaac, keeping her posture open so he would understand she wasn’t going to yell at him.

“You can do anything you want as long as you have the confidence that you can. I cannot give you confidence, you have to look inside and find strength within.”

Ava smiled after her little optimistic speech, making Isaac nod and relax.

“What if I don’t get in?” his blue eyes widened at that terrific thought and he shuddered.

“What if you do?” Ava interfered quickly before he would get anxious once again, “What if you get in with the best grade? What then?” she continued, a light smile gracing her face.

Isaac looked down at his hands, his mind swirling with ‘what ifs’. Ava ’s eyes fell down on his hands and noticed some strange tattoo made with a pen on his left hand. It couldn’t be from a club since he was scared of crowds and was still getting used to going to the market on his own so there must be something else.

“Have you met someone lately? Someone who came over your place? Maybe a family friend or a cousin?” she didn’t want to be indiscreet but it felt vital to know how he got that sign.

It was weird how it seemed to trigger something in her mind but the memory was so old that she couldn’t quite figure out where she had seen that before. It was a mark for something, a circle with Alpha and Omega and she was sure she had seen it somewhere before in a book.

Isaac noticed just how focused she was on his new tattoo and covered it slowly, “Nothing happened. No one came.”

“What is that on your hand?”

Isaac bit his lower lip and blinked innocently, “It’s not a permanent tattoo. It cleans off with water.” He mumbled in his defense.

“What does it mean?” she asked, her eyes rising to his so she could show him the genuine curiosity swirling through her brown orbs.

It made him relax to the point he smiled widely and turned to her, “It is really an Christological monogram. It is a symbol often depicting Jesus Christ, a divine sign that attracts God’s protection on the wearer. Also, a khrismon symbolizes rebirth, light, victory.”

Ava nodded along, registering the information yet realizing she had heard that before, “Where did you get it?”

Isaac blushed faintly

“The park,” He whispered, feeling embarrassed.

Ava raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “It’s good that you could finally go to the park. You’re making progress.”

The young adult nodded slowly, content with his achievement.

For the next hour or so, Ava created such an atmosphere that Isaac could enjoy and speak more of his worries. It seemed that he was getting better yet going into a shopping center without having someone to rely on was a nightmare.

“If you take your medicine as prescribed and come regularly, you will get to the point where you can actually go on a date or have a friend over. But everything can be done with baby steps.” She concluded at the end of their meeting.

Isaac nodded, “Baby steps.” He repeated, feeling like his life could finally go down the right path.

The boy got up and smiled down at her before he waved shyly and left, his mother waiting for him right outside the door. Ava got up as well and leaned against the door frame, watching her patient walking towards the elevator at a slower pace than when he first came to her, two months ago.

“He’s making real progress. His mother is happy.” The secretary, Charlie Bloom, added from her desk.

But there was something strange about that khrismon and the way he accepted it so easily when he went to the park.

Walking back in her office, Ava didn’t bother closing the door so Charlie took the opportunity to remind her boss about some little detail she might have forgotten.

“Tonight is the farewell party for Dr. Johnson. He’s moving to Sweden and his office will be taken over by a newbie.” Charlie informed the brunette but Ava only waved it off. “You need to come, Dr. Atkins. The big boss will be there as well and he’s going to appoint Johnson’s patients to someone new.”

“I’m not interested.” She mumbled, ready to close the door so Charlie could shut up.

Unfortunately, the petite secretary was fast and stuck her head around the corner just in time.

“I heard that you will get them. It’s been already decided but Big Boss wants to go out and drink for free.” Charlie added right before the she got pushed out and the door closed.

Ava could still hear her secretary talk to herself about her manners or something but Ava’s mind was stuck on that khrismon. She was sure she had seen it before, tattooed for real on a boy’s hand.

Chapter 2

Meanwhile, across the city in an intimidating building that common people would normally avoid was a man who could only think that he had crossed a moral line in his life.

“Detective Lanchester, do you admit to have shot your partner and beat a passerby to death for witnessing your immoral actions?” The captain of the precinct asked slowly, his eyes begging for a negative answer.

Marvin Lanchester looked down at his hands and sighed. He could still see everything unfold before his eyes and it wasn’t even his fault.

The door to the car opened, the man at the wheel smiling happily when he saw what his partner brought him.

“I get sick only watching you devour that,” Marvin mumbled, opening his salad and taking care to place a napkin over his lap before beginning to eat.

The man from the wheel rolled his eyes. “Not everyone is posh like you Marv. We, the plebe, eat normal hamburgers from McDonald’s or Mahmud’s kebab around the block. That is how I roll,”

Marvin chuckled, “Aren’t you too old to say stuff like that, Barky? You should consider your age and status,”

The man frowned when he heard the nickname, everything else fading into the background.

“Stop calling me Barky. Do I look like a dog to you?” The man sneered but Marvin nodded.

“You sure sound like one.” Marvin added before coughing, ready to get into character, “You right there! Police! Stop! Every time you shout like that all I can hear is woof woof woof!”

Fred narrowed his eyes at his partner but Marvin blinked innocently continuing to eat his salad.

“We could have been so much more, Marv. But this judgmental personality of yours- tsk.”

Marvin couldn’t contain his laughter and pushed his partner playfully, knowing if he wanted to he could make Fred drop the hamburger on his clothes and Hell would rise for him at home.

It was funny how Fred was living with a woman but not his mother, sister or lover. He only knew that the bond between the two was created during a raid in Birmingham. The drug dealer was conducting some kind of experiments for a new drug and she was one of the few victims who became the lab rats.

Fred came back with a special companion that both intrigued and confused everyone at the office.

“We should have gone to MI6 boot camp when we had the opportunity.” Marvin heard Fred mumbled with a daydreaming look on his face.

Marvin stopped the fork just before taking a big bite and put it down. Those were memories even he doubted it ever happened.

“You are the most laid back detective in London. It wouldn’t have worked out.” The red haired man mumbled, feeling a tinge of disappointment.

Fred scoffed, “Maybe for you, ginger.”

Marvin smirked knowing how he could combat that smart ass remark but Fred caught sight of movement into the alley and the atmosphere broke into seriousness.

“Marvin, I ask you again. Did you shoot detective Fred Lowe?” The chief asked once again, slowly with the same amount of anxiety on his face.

“No. When I got there it was too late. He was already shot.” Marvin responded, not taking his eyes off the handcuffs around his wrists.

“Have you seen that?” Fred asked his figure jolting and hand automatically going for his gun. “It’s J-Drop,”

Marvin raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes in order to see the figure walking down the street at 1 in the morning.

“You mean the low life kid, Jamie Anderson? The one whose father-”

“-was involved with the Birmingham case. Yes, him. I should go see what’s going on. He should be-”

Fred couldn’t go out because Marvin pulled him back into the car.

“He’s just a kid, Fred. He is not his father.”

Fred’s blue eyes hardened as he shrugged his partner’s hand off him. “You weren’t there Marv. You didn’t see what I did.”

“Are you sure this isn’t because you are worried for Jenna?”

Fred scoffed, “I killed that son of a bitch before he could share his new drug with someone. She is safe.”

“If you go there, she won’t be anymore. You won’t either. We’re supposed to look after someone else.”

Fred got out of the car and squeezed his gun before winking at Marvin. “You be the good cop, Marv.”

That was everything he said before walking down the street, the same way as J-Drop.

The silence in the car was suffocating and no one was getting out of the bar they had to survey. It was such a waste of time and Fred rushed into trouble again.

Thinking that he waited enough, Marvin moved on the driver’s seat and turned on the engine, intending to go snatch his partner before he could damage his reputation.

As he took a turn at the first intersection, he only drove for a few meters before he noticed two men talking before another one ran in shooting like a maniac. Marvin’s eyes widened as he stopped the car and rushed to the scene.

The brown head of Fred ‘Barky’ Lowe was covered in blood as one of the bullets went straight through the middle of his head. The kid was still there, hurt but not severely.

Fred Lowe has been more than a partner for Marvin, no matter how much they used to tease each other and even fight verbally and physically. Fred was there at every special event in Marvin’s life and Marvin wanted to be there at Fred’s wedding, at least. It seemed he was going to be at his funeral instead.

The redhead fell on his knees in front of his partner, Fred’s blue eyes still wide open.

“He must have got surprised by the attack. He didn’t have time to fully comprehend what was going on and when he did, it was too late.” Marvin concluded, mumbling to himself as he scanned Fred’s body.

He got shot two more times in the chest and right knee but the fatal blown was done to his forehead. Marvin’s head turned slowly to the whimpering kid standing across Fred. He was shot in the side but with medical attention he could recuperate.

But Fred was dead.

That was all Marvin could think about and he couldn’t help but feel angry. Everything before his eyes darkened as the ginger detective grabbed his partner’s gun and got on his feet. With every step towards Jamie, Marvin could feel pieces of his walls breaking, uncovering the deepest and most horrible memories he had. The blood on the carpet, his mother lying there with her blue eyes widely open as little Marvin was hiding under the bed. He could still see them, haunting him. And then the moment his father came in and grabbed Marvin out of his hiding spot, hitting him repeatedly before Marvin had the chance to squirm out and run downstairs.

“Hey-Hey dude. Why are you- why don’t you help me instead! It wasn’t my fault that he got shot!” Jamie shouted at the dark figure towering over him. “That guy just came out of nowhere! I swear-” The kid winced and pointed at his side, “I got shot too, see?”

But Marvin couldn’t hear or see him. The past was coming back and all those years he spent in a rehabilitation center were crumbling at his feet.

“It wasn’t my fault!” Marvin could hear himself shout to his father but the older man was furious.

Mr. Lanchester was a big man with broad shoulders and steel eyes. He could kill Marvin and that was a terrible thought for a 15 years old teenager. With blood on his face and scratches on his body, Marvin knew he had only one chance to escape but he had to do something very bad.

“Dude?” Jamie Anderson ended up cowering in fear as Marvin started to hit him again and again. At some point, the detective hovered over the boy and hit him repeatedly in the head with his gun, squishing him underneath and eventually squishing his head with the blows.

Everything Marvin could see and hear was stabbing his father with a pair of scissors, tears dripping down his cheeks.

In the interrogation room, Chief Inspector Leyland was intrigued what Marvin was thinking at the moment. His eyes were staring at the table as if he was in a trance and his appearance was disheveled.

“Did you kill Jamie Anderson?” The prosecutor asked.

The Chief Inspector knew that Marvin could have done it if it was to avenge his partner’s death. However, the clues at the crime scene were too messy and Marvin’s prints weren’t found anywhere on the victims.

Lanchester was safe and he probably knew it.

“I didn’t kill anyone. I was too late.” Marvin responded after a few more minutes.

Marvin Lanchester was a good detective but for some reason, his image just darkened considerably.



After a long day of work, Ava was ready to go home, take her pills and watch a movie, preferably a comedy. She closed everything she found precious in the office and turned off the lights but once she finished locking the door, Charlie Bloom appeared behind her.

“Ready for the party?” She asked, those happy sparkling green eyes of hers making Ava sick.

“I’m going home,” Ava started, ignoring her secretary and passing her swiftly on the way to the elevator.

“But Big Boss wants everyone there.” She whined like a child, not letting the psychologist wait for the elevator in silence. “Johnson wants you to come too. He has something he wants to tell you,” She changed the method of persuasion, thinking that Ava would give in to curiosity.

But Ava was not a curious person.

“He can send me an e-mail later.”

Charlie sighed and gave up.

Ava was not exactly the woman Charlie imagined when she first heard about her. She was very professional and knew how to divide personal opinions from work and she was very good at what she was doing; Charlie had only praises for Ava’s incredible work ethic but Ava, as a person was so secretive and strange. Taking a glance at the brown haired psychologist, Charlie was curious what was beyond that polite smile and wise words.

As if the universe was complotting against her, the elevator arrived on their floor but not empty; the general director –or Big Boss as Charlie would call him- was inside, waiting patiently in his black pants and blue shirt, his sleeves pulled up enough to show off his Rolex watch.

Ava’s eyebrow twitched sensing Charlie’s amusement from her spot.

“Going to the party?” Henry Acker asked the two ladies, moving aside so they could also enter.

Charlie was chuckling under her hand while glancing at Ava with what she wanted to be subtlety but she was actually drawing attention to Ava.

“How is work, Ava? It has been a while since you joined us.” He started, using polite yet warm speech.

Ava felt like scoffing but under the curious gaze of her secretary it was impossible to act impolite. Therefore, she decided to respond in the same manner that made her famous in the firm.

“Fine.”

One word sentences were Ava’s signature when speaking to higher ups in the firm or investors. The only people Ava was genuinely warm and natural with were patients.

“You’re coming to the party, right?” Henry continued, glancing at her over his shoulder.

There was a moment of silence, Charlie feeling really small standing between her boss and her other boss. Henry smiled to himself, seeing her tense at the question and having an inner battle in order to decide what to say.

“Sure.”

It was obvious for anyone that she forced that answer out just to please her boss.

The farewell party wasn’t as glamorous as Ava originally expected; if anything, it looked like workers having a drink in a pub. Nicholas Johnson was standing by the bar when Ava arrived and he quickly invited her to sit next to him.

“What would you like to drink?” He asked enthusiastically turning towards the bartender and getting his attention.

“Water. I don’t drink alcohol.” She mumbled, her eyes still taking in every detail surrounding her.

The party itself wasn’t anything spectacular and it was easily observable where friendships have already been made and where was animosity. Henry was drinking uncontrollably yet he seemed fine unlike two or three other colleagues. The women were drinking cocktails and talking to each other about children and their families, all of them out of reach for Ava. She couldn’t even remember the last time she spoke to her parents.

“You don’t look like you’re having fun.” Johnson stumbled her way and sat next to her. “Are you uncomfortable?”

“I’m having fun in my own way.” She tried to sound like she was having fun but it was obvious she was tired and bored.

“You can leave if you want. I’m content that you came in the first place so I won’t get mad. We haven’t been friends before and won’t suddenly be comfortable around each other.”

Nicholas didn’t have to be a genius to see just how relieved she was that she could leave. She grabbed her purse and hugged him awkwardly before walking out.

On the way home, Ava felt paranoid for some reason and she couldn’t point out who in the crowd was making her feel like a prey. Maybe it was her car that was drawing attention –being a black Jeep- yet at the same time, she couldn’t help but be scared of were that paranoia was actually coming from.

A sudden flash of memory forced her to abruptly stop the car and grab her purse hastily. Her hands were shaking and she was going to have a panic attack if she couldn’t find those pills. Everything was there except the bottle of antidepressants and the pain in her chest was growing stronger by the minute. Suddenly she remembered she might have put some in the compartment in the car and hurried to open it. The first thing that fell was a Mini Revolver chambered in .22 short but that wasn’t important. She found a small bottle of benzodiazepines and gulped down two without water.

Being like that used to be a bad memory but it seemed like not even a psychologist could tame his inner demons.