Megaman x DBZ Wedgie Story: Cacophony

In another universe, Sonia Strumm sat in front of her computer. This Sonia was incredibly similar to her original counterpart, only she had met her eventual boyfriend, Geo, in her later years in life. In this timeline of events, she had first met him late into high school when he had first discovered his powers. He had become bonded to an alien that resembled a robotic suit, making him the hero Mega Man. His father was an astronaut who had disappeared on a mission many years ago. The alien Omega-Xis, or Mega as Geo called him, had saved his father from death and found a way to reunite Geo with his father. Along the way, Geo had become friends with many people, including Sonia Strumm. The pink-haired girl, upon making eye contact with him for the first time, developed an infatuation for the young man. She was the closest to him among their group of friends. Eventually, she had worked up the courage to ask him out and he had said yes.

In present day, Sonia typed furiously into the computer, hoping to find a perfect location for her date tonight. It was her twenty-second birthday and she couldn’t wait to celebrate it with Geo. “Let’s see here,” she murmured, reading the numerous list of restaurants on the screen. “This is a good one. It’s located in... West City. Oh hey! That’s only one city off from here.” An enormous grin spread across her lips as she mashed her fingers against the computer keys. She slammed her left index finger on the enter button and relaxed in her seat. “Reservation made,” she read the online message aloud. She stood up and headed into the bathroom. After taking care of her business she walked up to the sink to wash her hands.

She could not believe how she had known Geo for at least five years and only within the past few months had they begun dating. She was proud of herself for finally asking him out. He was busy today with some work, but he assured her he would be able to meet up for dinner tonight. She finished washing her hands and pulled out her phone to text him “I’ve got the reservation. Here’s the address,” she whispered, hitting the send button. “‘Good. See you tonight. Happy Birthday!’”

A faint smile popped onto her lips, allowing her heart to beat a little bit slower. She stared at herself in the mirror and saw a short woman looking back at her. This woman possessed dark pink hair, green eyes and a slim figure. The only part of her body that was not slim was her bottom, which she desperately tried to hide to escape the feeling of being fat. She wore a pink t-shirt with multiple black musical notes spread across it that bared her midriff, tight-fitting jeans, and blue flip flops. She grabbed her pink hoodie and tied it underneath her waist. The two cities were close enough that she could simply walk. Before she left, she poured herself a glass of wine and lay comfortably on the couch in her living room. As an adult now, she could finally enjoy the finer things in life. Of course, she chose to limit herself to one glass so she could not become intoxicated. Upon finishing her drink, she exited her house and slowly moved her body into a jog.

In no time, she was making her way through West City. An explosion rocked her ears, making her crane her neck to what it was. “A bank robbery?” she questioned with a sigh, rubbing her temples. She ran behind the bank and into the alleyway. Ribbons materialized around her body along with a red body skirt, red boots, red and white sleeves, red gloves, and black leggings. Her pink hair brightened, turning golden. A red helmet with a clear visor materialized over her head. Back when she was younger, the suit had hearts on it, but she found a way to remove those so she would appear more mature.

“I’m ready,” she stated with a grin as a silver harp formed out of thin air and fell into her hands. Much like Geo, she had gotten powers of her own. She hid herself away from prying eyes since she separated her hero identity with her normal life. Granted, she could not really claim to have a normal life. She was almost always performing concerts, having very little time to relax or be a hero. She had decided her hero name, Harp Note, based on a pun since she found it humorous that she used a harp for a weapon and that tool blasted energy shaped like music notes at her opponents. “Should I make a big entrance or start it off small?” she wondered aloud. Another explosion rocked the bank, startling her. “Small works,” she told herself quickly. She rushed into the bank and ran her fingers through the strings of her harp, sending off several powerful music notes. Numerous thugs collapsed to the floor upon the notes smacking them in the face. This is going surprisingly easily, she thought to herself.

She barely dodged a thug using a flamethrower. “That was close,” she murmured. “I’m a little bit out of practice.” She suddenly felt a furnace appear on her backside. She looked behind her and panicked. A tiny fire burned on the back of her skirt. She quickly blew it out and groaned upon seeing the hole singed into her clothing. “Great,” she muttered. She noticed another woman knocking out the thugs. This woman wore a teal gi with a purple bodysuit underneath, a pink-ish orange cape, white gloves with matching boots and belt, a white helmet with silver antennae with a yellow heart stamped onto it. Much like Sonia, she had a clear visor attached to her helmet. That’s a pretty silly design, Sonia thought a giggle. She could not believe that somebody who looked to be at least as old as she was would have a heart on their outfit. Granted, she herself had the design years ago, but she preferred to move on from that model.

The other woman finished off her opponents and let out a deep sigh. “Thanks for the help,” she stated. She noticed the glowing aura around the other woman’s hair. “Your hair kind of looks like a Super Saiyan’s,” she observed.

“What’s a Super Saiyan?” Sonia questioned.

“You wouldn’t understand,” the woman replied. “Anyway, I didn’t realize there were other heroes around. What’s your name?”

“Harp Note,” Sonia answered, walking closer to her. “What’s yours?”

The woman struck a heroic pose, placing her hands to her head. “I am Great Saiyawoman!” she exclaimed.

“Uh... what are you doing?” Sonia questioned, placing a curious finger to her lips.

“It’s a pose,” Great Saiyawoman explained.

Sonia’s lips curled into a smile. “That’s so cool!” she exclaimed. She copied the hero’s movements and giggled. “This is kind of fun.” She bounced around Great Saiyawoman and noticed a hole in her gi as well, exposing a pink waistband. “Videl,” she murmured, reading the name on the waistband out loud. Guess she got hit by the flamethrower too.

Videl spun around and covered her bottom with her hands. “Don’t look at that!” she blurted out, her face brightening into a crimson red. “You weren’t supposed to see that!” Sonia burst into giggles, nearly falling over while Videl grew even more embarrassed. While Sonia became consumed by her own laughter, Videl snuck behind her and gripped her fingers around Sonia’s exposed light blue waistband. Before Sonia could react, Videl lifted her arms into the air, reveling in Sonia’s squeals. “Not so funny now, is it?” she taunted, pulling up and down as if the waistband was a weight bar.

“Come on!” Sonia whined, watching her feet part with the ground as she dropped her harp. The fabric tightened its hold on her bottom, terrifying her as she felt her power shrinking. “I didn’t do anything!” she squeaked. She was more than familiar with the concept of a wedgie. She had gotten them many times throughout her life, especially in high school. She could not believe that, even as Harp Note, she would still get a wedgie. Her legs kicked around into the air, hoping to break free of Videl’s grip. Eventually, her foot whacked into Videl’s knee, forcing her to drop Sonia. The blonde landed on her feet and quickly subbed her tush. “Why’d you have to do that?” she complained, watching Videl grip her pained knee.

“I may have overreacted a bit,” Videl admitted. “I just don’t like people seeing my panties.”

Sonia reached over Videl’s head and gripped her waistband with her right hand. She gave a quick tug and snickered upon hearing Videl yelp. She studied the name on the waistband. “Is Videl your actual name?”

“Yes!” Videl squeaked, feeling the power leak from her body. The wedgie’s grip on her bottom paralyzed her with terror. “Let go!” Sonia opened her palm, releasing the fabric and letting it snap back against Videl’s derrière. “Owie,” she whimpered.

“Why do you have your name on your underwear?” Sonia questioned. “Isn’t that a little cliche?”

“I like seeing my name,” Videl murmured, rubbing her sore posterior. “And it’s not cliche at all!”

“I mean, it kind of is,” Sonia replied with a shrug. “And I thought I was a nerd,” she said with a chuckle.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Videl barked.

“Hey!” a familiar voice shouted, stopping Videl in her tracks.

“Not her,” Videl whispered, slowly craning her neck back. Before them stood a blonde woman of slim figure. This woman wore pale blue jeans, a dark indigo shirt with purple sleeves, blue boots, a belt that tightly gripped on her waist, and a pearl necklace wrapped around her neck.

“Your little fight with those bank robbers destroyed the grocery store I was at,” the woman said in a bored tone, pointing at the ruins of a building behind her. “That was the only store around with the ingredients I needed for dinner tonight.”

“Sorry,” Sonia quickly apologized.

“Android 18?” Videl stumbled, her entire body trembling.

“Thanks for recognizing me,” 18 said with a chuckle, placing her left hand to her hip.

Sonia took notice on the look of fear on Videl’s face. Videl seemed to know who this woman was, and was completely terrified of her. “What’s wrong?” she asked, tapping on Videl’s shoulder.

“Nothing!” Videl shouted.

18 raised an eyebrow as she took notice of the blonde warrior. “Who’s your friend?”

“Harp Note,” Sonia answered confidently, placing her fists against her hips.

18 let out a sigh. “First Great Saiyaman, then Great Saiyawoman. Now Harp Note? What is with this insistence of stupid hero names?”

“Well, what kind of name is Android 18?” Sonia barked back at her. “That sounds like a villain name.”

“Touché,” 18 replied, walking over to Sonia. “Although, I’m not a villain,” she told the blonde warrior as she circled around her. She took notice of the stretched out undergarments hanging from Sonia and Videl’s backsides. “Usually,”she stated, gripping Sonia’s waistband. Without any warning or effort, she yanked the fabric past Sonia’s shoulders.

“Eeep!” Sonia shrieked, her muscles tensing as she realized what was happening. If I had kept training, I would have seen that coming, she berated herself. She attempted to keep a straight face, hoping 18 would not see the fear in her eyes.

“Just plain blue?” 18 questioned, noticing the lack of pattern. “That’s kind of boring.”

“Why does the pattern matter to you?” Sonia shouted.

18 shrugged as she kept pulling. “It’s funnier when there’s a pattern,” she explained, hoisting the cotton past Sonia’s neck. Sonia bit her lip to contain her screams, hoping 18 would get bored and stop. The fabric now crawled past the top of her helmet, terrifying her even further.

“Please, not an atomic!” Sonia begged, paralyzed by fear.

“You know, asking me not to do something makes me want to do it more,” 18 replied nonchalantly. She grabbed Sonia by the helmet and pulled her head back, preparing for the finale. Sonia’s neck strained back as she saw the light blue fabric approach her forehead. The cotton slithered past her visor, hooking itself there. Sonia covered her eyes, attempting to block out the stabbing agony tormenting her posterior. 18 looked behind her to find that Videl had disappeared. “Coward,” the android murmured, flying away.

“Help,” Sonia murmured, too dazed to remove the atomic wedgie. She couldn’t see a thing, making her wonder what others saw.

“I’m back,” 18’s voice echoed in Sonia’s ears.

“Let me go!” Videl screamed, being dragged by 18 back into the bank. She stomped her feet against the ground to slow 18 down, but to avail. “Why do you always have to give me a wedgie?”

“I don’t know,” 18 replied with a shrug. “Why are you so wedgieable?”

“Hmmph,” Videl grumbled, crossing her arms.

“It also helps that your panties are pretty stretchy,” 18 added, noticing the elasticity of the fabric. “Seriously, why is it so stretchy? Are you on a diet or something?”

“Shut up!” Videl snapped, feeling that the questions were becoming oddly personal.

“Now, what should I do with you?” 18 wondered with a smile, placing her wavering fingers to her lips. “Oh. I know.” Without any hesitation, 18 quickly flew the undergarments over Videl’s head.

“Why?” Videl yelped, shutting her eyes as the fabric tightened its grip on her bottom. To her surprise, 18 did not hook the waistband onto her head.

“Too easy,” 18 stated with a chuckle. “Let’s try something new.” She flew over Videl’s head, her grin growing wider as Videl continued to yelp. 18 flew over Sonia’s head and hooked the fabric over her chin.

“Ack!” Sonia shrieked, completely blinded by another layer of atomic wedgie. The stench did not do much to comfort her. In this moment, she felt something poke her bottom. “What was that?” she shouted.

“Gross,” Videl murmured, holding out her elbows to avoid slamming into Sonia’s posterior. “Why is your butt so big?”

“Hey!” Sonia shouted. “You have no right to judge if your panties stretch this far!” her muffled voice yelled.

18 simply snickered as she watched the two struggle to move. “What kind of wedgie is this?” Videl yelled at 18.

The android gave a simple shrug. “Don’t know the name, but I saw it in a cartoon once. I wanted to see if I could do it now.”

Videl groaned as she held out her palm to blast away the undergarments. She did not care if she lost another pair. Her family was rich, so she was certain she could easily replace it. A yellow ki blast formed at her fingertips, bouncing off the palm of her hand to cut through the fabric. As soon as it did, she quickly got to her feet. “Thank Kami,” she murmured, rubbing her posterior. She noticed 18 was walking away. “Hey! Get back here!”

“Later,” 18 said with a smirk, flying away.

“Oh, come on!” Videl whined, sinking to the ground.

“Uh, help!” Sonia shouted, still stuck in her painful trap.

“Whoops,” Videl murmured, running over to help free her. She pulled both fabrics off her head, allowing Sonia to gasp for air. “You okay?”

“Your underwear stinks,” Sonia murmured, stuffing her undergarments back into her suit. “Don’t you ever wash them?”

“Hey!” Videl snapped, collected her torn underwear off the ground. “I do! I doubt yours smell any better.”

“Well, I actually do laundry,” Sonia snarked, infuriating Videl even further. She could remember the atomic wedgie quite well and she knew for a fact that her undergarments did not stink compared to Videl’s. She walked away, leaving Videl to fume in isolation. “See you later,” she said with a wave. “Maybe next time we can do this without wedgies.”

“Yeah,” Videl agreed. “I’m sorry about the wedgie. I get so many from 18 that I wanted to do it to somebody else for once.”

“I get where you’re coming from,” Sonia greed before taking off in a huff. She ran back to the alleyway where she initially transformed and returned to her normal state. She let out a sigh as she walked into another store. Maybe I can hang out here until my date, she thought to herself.

“What are you doing here?” a bitter voice snapped at her. A woman in a green flannel and orange military pants sat behind an empty desk. The entire building was empty apart from Sonia, the woman, and a small monkey in the corner munching on a banana. The woman had white skin, blue eyes, and short violet hair. Also accompanying her attire were red gloves and matching boots along with a similarly colored belt wrapped around her waist. A pair of blue pilot goggles hung around her neck as she tapped her fingers against the desk.

“Uh, I was just looking for a place to chill,” Sonia answered quickly.

“In my workshop?” the woman asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sonia looked around. “It’s not much of a workshop when there’s nothing here,” she pointed out.

“It’s a work in process,” the woman replied calmly. “Who are you?”

Sonia raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? I’m a popular singer! Sonia Strumm!” Most of the time, she had found herself hounded by the paparazzi. She found it to be both an insult and a relief that somebody did not recognize her.

“Lady, I don’t pay attention to trends,” the woman replied. “I’m just trying to make ends meet and take care of my little buddy over there.” She gestured her head towards the monkey, who waved at Sonia. “Now, is there anything I can do for you?”

“I’m pretty rich,” Sonia pointed out. “I can donate a bunch of money to you if you want.”

The woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wait. Really?” she questioned, standing up out of her dilapidated chair. “You’d do that?”

Sonia nodded. “Sure. I don’t see why not.”

“Is there a catch to this?” the woman asked.

“I didn’t think of one,” Sonia admitted. “Give me a second.”

“I wasn’t asking you to make one,” the woman blurted out, incredulous about the other woman’s naivety.

“I know,” Sonia stated, snapping her fingers. “Let me give you an atomic wedgie and I’ll give you as much money as you need.”

“A what?” the woman questioned.

“A wedgie,” Sonia answered. “It’s where you yank on somebody’s-”

“No, I know what a wedgie is,” the woman interrupted her. “I’m just wondering: why?”

Sonia sighed. “I get so many wedgies and I want to give someone one for once.”

“Okay,” the woman replied, scratching her head. “And you want to give me an atomic wedgie?”

Sonia nodded. “Yes.”

“What’s that one again?” the woman asked. “I haven’t gotten a wedgie since I was a kid.”

“Lucky,” Sonia murmured under her breath, thinking about her constant experience with wedgies. She considered herself fortunate she never received a wedgie during one of her performances. “It’s a wedgie that pulls over your head.”

“Is that even possible?” the woman questioned.

“If your panties are stretchy enough,” Sonia answered. “Say, I never learned your name.”

“Violet,” the woman answered. “I used to work for the Red Ribbon Army, although I abandoned that.”

“The Red Ribbon Army huh?” Sonia murmured, trying to remember who that was. “And did you say your name is Violet?”

“Yes. What of it?”

Sonia nearly fell over as she burst into laughter. “It’s just... your hair... and your name...” she said between giggles.

“Okay, can we get this over with?” Violet asked, facepalming herself. “I just want me and my buddy to live comfortably for once.”

“You really like that guy, don’t you?” Sonia observed, staring at the monkey scratching itself.

“Well, he is my only friend,” Violet replied, pulling the back of her purple waistband out of her pants.

Sonia gripped the fabric and let out another cacophony of giggles. “Violet panties? Really?”

Violet sighed. “Can you just do this already?”

“Sure,” Sonia stated. Her arms jumped into the air with the fabric, causing a yelp to pop out of Violet’s lungs. “Monkeys?” Sonia questioned, barely able to contain herself as she studied the pattern on Violet’s undergarments. “That’s kind of silly, don’t you think?”

Violet refused to look back and acknowledge her, instead hiding her crimson face. “Just shut up and do it,” she demanded.

“Fine,” Sonia said in a huff. The fabric slinked its way up Violet’s spine, making her more uncomfortable with each passing second. Violet grumbled as she could hear the cotton tearing, allowing it to stretch more. “Sorry,” Sonia apologized, watching the seams come apart. She began floating in the air, stretching the fabric further. The fabric crawled over Violet’s hair, approaching her eyebrows. Violet bit her tongue, holding in all the curse words she could think of. Finally, Sonia hooked the waistband onto Violet’s nostrils, disturbing her even more.

“Ack!” Violet shouted as her neck strained back. Smiling monkeys blanketed her eyes, trapping her in a painful, albeit adorable, prison. “Who came up with a prank like this?”

“I don’t know,” Sonia said with a shrug, unable to control her giggles anymore.

“How long do I have to stay like this?” Violet questioned.

“How about a minute?” Sonia offered. “Do you mind if I take a picture with you? I won’t share it with anyone, I promise!”

Violet groaned. “Fine,” she grumbled.

Sonia pulled out her phone and stood to Violet’s right. She prepared a smile for the photo and pressed the button. “Eeep!” she yelped, her blue undergarments being yanked up her back. She dropped her phone as she heard Violet snickering. “Very funny,” Sonia murmured, stuffing her underwear back into her jeans. She picked up her phone and frowned upon seeing the photo: A look of utter shock on Sonia’s face as her underwear reached past her shoulders while Violet, in an atomic wedgie, was grinning and holding her fist triumphantly into the air.

Violet pulled off her underwear mask, letting the fabric hang from her pants, and rubbed her neck to fix any knots. “I like to think you got my good side,” she joked.

Sonia chuckled. “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile,” she observed. “And don’t worry. I’ll get your money to you by tomorrow.”

“You’d better,” Violet replied with a smile on her face. “See you around.”

Sonia waved goodbye and headed on her way.


Sonia explored the many hallways of Capsule Corp. She had another hour until her date began, so decided to explore one of the buildings next to the restaurant. She considered herself fortunate that the company were doing a tour today, being led by a scientist named Bulma. The blue-haired woman dressed very casually: a white t-shirt that bared her midriff, loose fitting jeans, brown cowgirl boots, and a red bandana wrapped around her neck. Next to her stood a black-haired woman who kept her hair in a bun. This woman, named Chi-Chi, wore a yellow martial art uniform with a purple sash, white long sleeves, a purple cloth tied around her shoulders, turquoise pants, and blue martial arts shoes.

“Thanks for the tour,” Sonia told Bulma. “It’s a real honor. I’ve read that you’re one of the greatest scientists of our time.”

“Oh, you’re too sweet,” Bulma said, waving her off. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re an amazing musician! Your songs are so much fun!”

Sonia found it humorous that she and Bulma had known about each other indirectly, and now found the chance to meet in person.

“Honestly, I’ve never heard of you,” Chi-Chi admitted to Sonia with a shrug. “Then again, I don’t really get out that much.”

Sonia smiled. “It’s nice to have somebody not know who I am,” she stated, continuing to follow the pair throughout the hallways. “It’s less stressful.”

“And this is our gravity room,” Bulma explained, gesturing to the room on her right.

“What does it do?” Sonia questioned, looking through the window.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Chi-Chi replied, confused by her lack of understanding. “It adds gravity to things and makes them heavy.”

“My husband Vegeta can train under 500 times Earth’s gravity,” Bulma bragged.

“500 hundred? How is he not dead?” Sonia questioned, her jaw dropping.

“Well, he’s extremely tough,” Bulma stated boastfully. “Nobody’s stronger than my Vegeta.”

“Except Goku,” Chi-Chi replied smugly.

“What was that?!” Bulma barked.

“You heard me,” Chi-Chi stated confidently. “He can beat Vegeta any day of the week.”

“No way!” Bulma shouted, getting into Chi-Chi’s face.

Sonia took notice of a white fabric peeking out of her jeans. Now’s my chance, she thought mischievously to herself. She snuck over to Bulma as she and Chi-Chi were arguing.
“At least Vegeta’s good in-EEP!” Bulma yelped, feeling her panties skyrocket up her back.

“Wedgie,” Sonia said with a snicker. Her laughter grew even louder as she noticed the pattern. “Why strawberries?” she asked.

“You brat!” Bulma screamed, but was silenced by another tug. “I get enough wedgies as it is from 18! I don’t need anymore!” she squealed. Chi-Chi began laughing, attempting not to fall over due to her uncontrollable chuckles. “Shut up!”

Sonia paused. “Did you say 18?” she asked, her lip quivering.

“Yeah, she gives us wedgies all the time,” Chi-Chi said between giggles.

“I met her earlier,” Sonia admitted, continuing to tug on Bulma’s undergarments. “She’s pretty nasty.”

“Owie,” Bulma whimpered, feeling the stress on her bottom tighten even further with each yank. “Then why are you giving me a wedgie?” she questioned as her vocal pitch increased tremendously.

“Eh, it’s fun seeing it happen to somebody else for once,” Sonia admitted. Although she was shorter than Bulma, she was certain she pull off an atomic. Here goes, Sonia told herself. She leapt into the air and yanked the fabric past Bulma’s head. The strawberries on her underwear blinded her as the fabric slithered past her eyes. The fabric crawled down her nose and found itself a comfortable home underneath her chin. “Man, you’ve got some stretchy panties,” she observed.

“Eeek!” Bulma squeaked as the fabric sliced her posterior in two. Her neck was yanked back by the cotton’s grip. Her body shook in terror as her nostrils became poisoned by the odor. Come on! she whined inside her mind. I just did laundry. It can’t stink that bad! Her head pulled back due to the strain caused on her neck.

Chi-Chi continued laughing. “You look so ridiculous!”

“Get me out of this!” Bulma’s muffled voice screamed.

Sonia simply giggled. It felt good to see somebody else in the predicament she found herself in on a regular basis. She turned to Chi-Chi. “You want to help do the front?”

“Vegeta’s going to kill you! He’s stronger than anyone else around!” Bulma’s shrill voice shouted.

“Sure,” Chi-Chi said without any hesitation. Although she was friends with Bulma, she could not stand her insistence that Vegeta was stronger than her husband. She knew that, beyond a reasonable doubt, that Bulma’s arrogance left her completely ignorant on the matter. Perhaps being taught a lesson by the wife of the strongest man around would make her change her mind.

“Thanks!” Sonia exclaimed with a smile on her face. She and Chi-Chi gripped the front part of Bulma’s waistband that was sticking out. They both gave a massive heave, dragging the fabric up to Bulma’s chest effortlessly.

“Ack!” Bulma screeched. “Chi-Chi! Why?!”

“You need to get it through your thick head that Goku’s the strongest around,” Chi-Chi said sternly. “And what better way to learn than from his wife?”

“Come on!” Bulma whined through her underwear mask. The fabric yanked past her mouth, forcing her to scream even more than she previously did. She felt like she was being put through a meat grinder while attempting to reconcile with the fact that some celebrity and her best friend were performing a schoolyard prank on her. Finally, the waistband lurked past her head, latching itself onto the back of her head. First 18, now this? Why do I keep getting wedgies all the time? She collapsed to the ground, unsure of how to react any further. She was trapped by a clothing that, when left alone, brought her so much comfort. It baffled her how this clothing could betray her on such a frequent basis. This cannot get any worse.

A door to the hallway kicked open. “Yo!” an aggressive voice echoed. A woman of slender figure and average height walked through the door. Her skin tone was not quite pale, albeit not quite tan either. She wore golden armbands and matching boots, magenta belly shirt with matching form-fitting pants, and a green earring on each ear. Electricity sparked off her body as her spiky green hair flowed illustriously through the air. “Where’s Goku?” her voice demanded. When she spoke, two voices acted as one. One voice was boorish and belligerent while the other had a tinge of fright to her tone while she followed the first voice.

“Who is that?” Bulma whimpered.

“I’m... not sure,” Chi-Chi admitted nervously, sensing the woman’s overwhelming power. “What do you want?”

“Goku,” the woman answered sternly.

“Uh... isn’t that your husband?” Sonia asked Chi-Chi.

“He most certainly is,” Chi-Chi answered confidently before walking up to the woman and getting in her face. “And you are not taking from me. I’m the only woman that he’ll ever love, got it?”

The woman began blushing, flabbergasted by Chi-Chi’s accusations. “What? No! I don’t want to date him! I want to fight him!”

“Oh,” Chi-Chi murmured, realizing what she meant. “And who are you again?”

“Kefla,” the woman answered boastfully. “I’m the fusion of Caulifla and Kale, and I’m the strongest person Goku’s ever fought, bar none.”

Chi-Chi raised an eyebrow. “He’s never mentioned either of you before,” she stated.

Kefla’s jaw dropped. “What?! Not even once?”

Chi-Chi shook her head. “He’s always going off about this Jiren guy and wanting to fight him again.”

“That bastard!” Kefla cursed, tightening her fists to the point that blood was drawn. “He forgot about me!”

“I know what that feels like,” Chi-Chi admitted. “He left for seven years to train in Other World. I had to raise my second son all by myself!” She let out a huff. “At least he came back to me. I’m just happy for that.”

“Okay,” Kefla murmured, not the least bit interested in Chi-Chi’s life story. “So... where is he?”

“He’s off training with Beerus and Whis,” Chi-Chi said with a sigh. “He said he’ll be back tomorrow, though.”

“Ugh,” Kefla groaned. My fusion only lasts an hour, she complained to herself. I shouldn’t have to put on the Potara before the battle started. “What am I supposed to do until then?” Her eyes took notice of the whimpering Bulma. A small snicker jumped from her lips before completely erupting into laughter. “What happened to her?!” she asked, barely able to contain herself. “What kind of wedgie is that?”

“A double atomic,” Sonia answered.

“How do you know what that’s called?” Chi-Chi questioned.

Sonia gave a shrug. “I’m basically an encyclopedia on wedgies,” she replied nonchalantly.

“That’s pretty impressive,” Kefla admitted, admiring their handywork. She turned to Chi-Chi and Sonia. “I bet I can top it.”

The two women froze in place, their bodies trembling in anticipation. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Sonia questioned, taking a few steps back. She looked to Chi-Chi and became horrified when she saw what Kefla had done to her. From there stood a mummified Chi-Chi, cocooned by her own dark blue panties. How did she do that?

“Let me out!” Chi-Chi shrieked, falling down. Her body was tightly constricted by the blue fabric adorned by Nimbus clouds. She lost complete control of her body as she struggled to move. Her red waistband had been latched onto her chin, completing the mummy look. Every fiber of her being screamed out in pain, hoping Goku or anybody available would rescue her.

Kefla cackled as she stomped her feet giddily. “Oh, that’s good,” she murmured, wiping away a tear. Her eyes shifted towards a frightful Sonia. “Now, how do I top that?” she wondered aloud. “Oh! I know!”

Sonia clamped her eyes shut, expecting the worst. Unfortunately, her fears proved to be right. “EEP!” she shrieked upon opening her eyes. She hung motionlessly in the air, unable to tell what just happened. All she knew was that the pain inside her body shot out in every single direction. Instead of death by a thousand cuts, it was mortification by a thousand wedgies. The fabric had extended out in every direction imaginable, tying her arms together and hanging her like an executed prisoner. During her nearly endless shrieking, she noticed that the fabric had been stretched out in a multitude of pathways, appearing more times than it should have.

“You like it?” Kefla asked with a laugh. “I went across the world several times to give you this wedgie.”

“No!” Sonia squealed, her voice loud enough to shatter glass. “What did you do?”

“I call it the spider wedgie,” Kefla explained braggadociously, waving her left hand around in the air without a care in the world. “Thought of the name myself.”

“But why?” Sonia asked, not longer recognizing her own voice.

“I needed something to do since Goku’s not around,” Kefla explained. “And you three all look like nerds. I see nerds. I give them wedgies. It’s as simple as that.” She flew over to Chi-Chi and whispered into her ear. “When Goku gets back, tell him Kefla did this,” she stated confidently before soaring away.

“I can’t feel anything...” Sonia murmured. “How is this even possible?” Bulma clawed at her underwear mask, but gave up when her embarrassment drained her energy completely. Chi-Chi, as weak as she had become, continued to struggle in her fight to free herself. Eventually, she let out a huff and resigned herself to her fate. Sonia looked around, hoping to find anything that could cut her down. She looked down and found herself hanging hundreds of feet above the ground. Where did she leave me? she wondered.

“Hey look!” an unknown male voice shouted. “Isn’t that Sonia Strumm?”

“Yeah, it is!” a female voice agreed. “Isn’t she that famous singer?”

“Man, her butt looks even bigger than it does on TV,” another female voice observed.

Sonia let out a deep breath, blushing intensely as she accepted her fate. The phone in her pocket began buzzing, startling her. Not now, she realized, knowing immediately who it was. Unfortunately, she could not answer it for she remained trapped in the wedgie. What a terrible birthday. I’m sorry Geo, she apologized, knowing full well that she was going to be late for their date. Her eyes caught onto a particular sight: dozens of people snapping photos of her. Two words exited her mouth, words that rarely found herself saying. Now was a good time to say them. “Damn it.”