The Grammar Jungle

Samuel Daily Word Count: 927

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The Grammar Jungle

By Samuel Daily

It is a place full of mystery. It is a place full of surprises. It is the grammar jungle! Very few animals dare to travel through it. Those animals that do make the scary journey must follow the rules of the grammar jungle. If they do not follow the rules, they might not come out the same. Some never come out at all. This is because a dangerous predator lurks within the grammar jungle. This predator is called...

THE IGNORAMOOSE!

"Hi I am the Ig-no-ra-moose and I don't care nothin about those stupid grammar rule I'm gonna go see if I can cause trouble!"

So, the Ignoramoose prowled around until he found a group of animals making their way through the jungle.

"Who are you?" asked a monkey.

"I am the king of the grammar jungle," the moose said, but this was a lie.

"Wow!" exclaimed a pretty peacock.

"I did not know the grammar jungle had a king," said a panda climbing down a tree.

"Well, let us introduce ourselves," said a llama.

All the animals gathered around the moose and began to introduce themselves.

Hi, I am the comma llama. I go where there is a pause in a sentence.

For example:

1. Snakes do not have noses, but they can smell with their tongues.

2. Some snakes, lizards, and turtles can breathe through their skin as well as their lungs.

Hi, I am the question mark monkey. I come at the end of a question.

For example:

1. Hello Mr. Centipede, how are you?

2. I am okay, but I have trouble tying my shoes. What about you?

Hi, I am the exclamation point peacock. I go at the end of an exclamation.

For example:

1. Wow! Look at that baboon!

2. I cannot believe it! He went all the way to the moon!

Hi, I am the panda period. I come at the end of a regular sentence unless it is a question or an exclamation.

For example:

1.The elephant went to the store.

2. Everything was great until she got to the door.

"It is nice to meet all of you, but you have it all wrong," said the moose. "Let me explain. It will not take long."

The animals gathered around the moose to hear what he was going to say.

"I will start with the bird and the monkey. You two are confused. Question mark monkey, you come after an exclamation. Exclamation point peacock, you come after a question."

"That is not right," said the comma llama stepping forward.

The moose thought for a second and then replied, "What you call right is actually wrong. Also, comma llama, you do not go where there is a pause in a sentence. You come at the end of a sentence. This means that you, panda period, go where there is a pause in a sentence."

The animals thought about their new roles. Finally, the panda period spoke up.

"This does not seem like the right way. but maybe we should give it a try,"

"That is right?" exclaimed the question mark monkey,

"Who needs the old rules!" asked the exclamation point peacock,

"Yeah. we need to go tell everyone else." said the comma llama,

So. the animals travelled through the grammar jungle telling their friends about the new rules, At first. things went okay, But soon., there! was? chaos?!., All? the animals. tried, to insert? themselves! wherever. and whenever? they, wanted. to, in a, sentence!?.,. This? continued! until, one, day there. was? a loud!

ROAR!

A large? yellow figure appeared! and all, of the animals, tried to hide. until? the monkey asked, "Who are you?"

"Hi, I am Gregg the lion. I show up whenever there is a question about the rules of the grammar jungle."

"Awesome," said the peacock, "can you please tell this monkey that I go after a question!?"

Gregg replied, "You are the exclamation point peacock, correct? Just like your name, you only come after a word or sentence that is exclaimed."

For example:

1. "Stop! You are going too fast!" yelled the sloth.

2. "You are crazy!" replied the caterpillar.

"I thought I go after an exclamation," said the question mark monkey.

Gregg shook his head, "No, you are the question mark monkey. This means that you go at the end of a question."

For example:

1. Did you hear about the ostrich that tried to fly?

2. Yeah, I heard. Where is the nearest hospital?

"Wait, what about me?" asked the panda period.

"You are the panda period," Gregg said, "which means that you come at the end of a regular sentence."

For example:

1. The snake went to the chameleon party.

2. She left because no one else showed up.

"If the panda period ends a sentence, then where do I go?" asked the comma llama.

"You, comma llama, go wherever there is a pause in a sentence."

For example:

1. When a crocodile swims, it uses its tail rather than its limbs.

2. Crocodiles only breathe above water, but they can hold their breath for hours.

"Oh, that makes sense," said the comma llama.

Gregg laughed, "Yes, it does. By the way, who told you these fake rules?"

The animals all looked around. The moose was nowhere to be found!

"What did he look like?" asked Gregg.

"He looked like a deer!" said the exclamation point peacock.

"He was big," said the comma llama, "and his antlers looked funny."

"Ahh, just as I suspected," said Gregg, "that was not a deer, that was the..."

IGNORAMOOSE!