Outside my front door there arose a kerfuffle
A brouhaha, a discombobulated shuffle
Trick-or-treaters I guessed up to shenanigans
Who would try to bamboozle this elderly man
I swung open the door and was flabbergasted
For there was a burning bag filled with disaster
They must think me stupid, some kind of nincompoop
To leave a flaming bag of dog dung here on my stoop
I knew this old trick, light the bag then skedaddle
But this malarkey they caused will get them the paddle
From the bushes beyond, muffled laughter was heard
The lollygaggers were waiting, their trick undeterred
With such a skloorgle, a skrotch, a sploosh, and a squeak
I kicked the bag toward them, the catawampus sneaks
The doggie dung exploded right where they were poodling
Showering the pumpernickles so there'd be no more canoodling
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