I used to be the happy girl

I used to be the happy girl

I used to look cute and smile all the time
I used to cheer my friends up in every situation
I used to live my life the way I wanted
I used to be happy

I used to have the perfect life
I had always something to laught
I had a lot of good friends
I got good grades
I used to be quite popular and everybody knew me as the happy girl

but then it slowly changed completly
I became more thoughtful
I started thinking about my life
I started beliving i'm not worth anything
when ever something went wrong, I believed it was my fault
I would cry myself to sleep every night

and it got worse
I would cut my skin every night
I couldn't sleep cause I was so sad
I thought about suicid
I wanted to die
I stopped talking about my feelings at all

and I didn't even get help from my friends or family
not because they don't love me
but they just didn't realise how i felt
cause i acted like the girl I used to be whenever someone was around
I know it wasn't good but i just couldn't be myself
and the only reason why i'm still alive is:
I feared not to die
cause that way everybode would've knewn i'm a failure

And that's on my life
no i'm not better yet
and yes I know I should talk to someone

hope your life goes better
maie