Time

Time,
At 3 years old i experienced true sadness,
I felt the constant pain in my chest of a thousand cotton balls stuck in place,
I could feel the hot tears streaming down my face,
I remember the way she cared for me,
I loved her,
until i learned what she truly was,
A monster.

At 9,i was constantly criticized on how i acted and spoke.
I was scared to go to school,
I was scared to go outside and play with the others,
I was scared of those mean boys,
They said it was tag,but it wasn't a game to me.

At 12 i learned what monsters where truly like.
Monsters where everywhere,
Monsters could be quiet or they could be chaotic,
Monsters could be your best friend or the man beside you,
Monsters , where thoughts.

At 14 i realized i needed help
Laying in the hospital bed just waiting for the news,
Laying in the bed hearing my mother cry,
Laying in bed watching her fall apart,
Laying in bed,knowing that i didn't care if i lived or if i died.

At 15 i was close,so close to being almost.

At 17 i tried to fix what the monsters inside my head tried to demolish,
My hopes,
My dreams,
My life,

At 20 i was alive,
I am breathing,
I am married,
I am loved,
I have two amazing little boys,
I am happy.