All Those Animals

The Hawks are always on the south-east corner across from my store hollering at cars and waving placards about Kill-em All, Let God Sort-em Out. The Doves across from them more subdued smiling and waving at the people, their placards saying, Make Love Not War and Practice Peace.

The Hawks sometimes cross and physically threaten the Doves and I go out and stop them by threatening to call the police. I usually suffer a few verbal slings and arrows, but I show them my phone and say, “One word to the cops is all it’ll take.”

A year ago she started dancing up and down the street wearing a full fox-head mask, a bushy tail and a hangman's noose as a necklace, the big knot separating her breasts. She's tall with a very nice body, but I have no idea who she is; I've never seen her face. No one else knows or will tell me. She makes a beautiful animal.

Today she danced to the center of my windows and stopped. I own a rock shop selling mineral specimens and jewelry and I see all types from geologists to nut-cases. She gestured me out and handed me a polished crystal, a perfect Rhodochrosite worth over five-hundred. She laughed at my startled expression and said, "It's about time you noticed me."

"I've noticed you dancing for over a year."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I don't mess with customers, Beth."

"I've waited a year for you to ask me out, now I'm going to succeed. I'm going to kidnap you."

“I have a store, I can’t be kidnapped now, how about at eight?”

“Be ready.”

“Should I bring something?”

“Just you will do.”

That started everything good in my life again.