The Gassiest Under the Heavens!

(A/N: This is my part of a trade with batboyjw A.K.A. JWAPPEL  .)

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Ever since the defeat of Majin Buu, the Earth had experienced a long stretch of peace. However, with no new threats to fight, life soon became very monotonous and boring for the Z-Fighters and their allies, as well as the world at large. Ever since Mr. Satan retired from fighting, the “Strongest Under the Heavens” tournament has tanked in viewership. Various gimmicks were attempted, but none stuck around for long.

Eventually, someone advised that another gimmick could draw in some much needed attention: A burping contest! No doubt, the people who suggested this received many weird looks but the situation was so dire now that they would consider any idea. So, on the date of Age 790, May 7, the first “Gassiest Under the Heavens” tournament on the same island as the old one. Surprisingly, there were many people arriving to participate in it, even more so was that they were mostly women. When asked about their reasons for entering many replied with answers ranging from that “it would be fun” and “I can burp in public and not feel embarrassed” to “showing the world that girls can belch too” and “this will be easy money”. Speaking of the money, for this tournament only the first place winner would receive any monetary reward, which was a whopping 21.5 million Zeni. It combined all the money for 1st – 5th place contestants from the 25th World Martial Arts Tournament and the money for 1st place in the 21st and 22nd Tournament, and the winner gets the prize directly after the tournament.

Among the 100 participating contestants, there was the Heir to the Capsule Corporation, Dr. Bulma, along with her daughter and mother. Others included the Ox-Princess, Son Chi-Chi, along with her daughter-in-law and granddaughter, as well as Android 18 and her daughter. All eight passed the preliminaries and challenged each other in the tournament itself. Through a series of lengthy and loud matches, only two progressed to the final round. Walking up onto the arena first was Android No. 18, wearing a pink short-sleeved shirt, reddish brown pants, and red flats. Next was Bulma, feeling a bit nostalgic and deciding to ape her appearance from the time that the Androids awoke: a burgundy long-sleeved shirt, white pants and her hair was again shoulder-length. Still being friends, they shook hands and smiled.

“I’m impressed that you’ve made it this far, Eighteen.” Bulma complimented.

“Thanks, but I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Lazuli said. “Why are you competing?”

“Are you serious?” The purple haired woman inquired incredulously. “The prize is 21.5 million Zeni!”

The cyborg raised an eyebrow. “But you’re rich!”

Bulma simply folded her arms. “Meh, you can never have too much.” She retorted.

“Whatever the reason, you’ve also done well, but I’m going to win this match.” The Jinzōningen said with a smirk before ripping a grotesque belch. It lasted for 1 second but was potent in both loudness and smell.

However, Bulma did not flinch from either, having experienced and let out worse ones when training with Bra for the tournament. “You call that a belch? My daughter and especially my mom did better!” She taunted, flashing a smirk of her own as she recalled a burping/stuffing contest between her and Chi-Chi when Panchy arrived with a more bloated stomach than either of them and launched a putrid belch in her daughter’s face. “And as you’ll find out, the talent didn’t skip a generation.” To prove her point, the scientist, without even inhaling, let out a burp that sounded like a dinosaur’s roar. The eructation’s bark was worse than its bite, as while it had little in the way of smell, it more than made up for it with enough power to blow back Artificial Human 18’s golden locks.

After 3 seconds, the burp ended, leaving a smug Bulma and a stunned Android 18. “How did you do that? I have seen you burp like that before in the tournament, or ever!” No. 18 stated.

“Simple, I’ve been holding back during the other rounds. That way, I could conserve my strength until the final round when I needed it most.” Bulma explained. “I’ve seen the way that you’ve been showing off before in previous rounds, so I figured that you’d wear yourself out by flaunting your skills instead of strategizing.”

A-18 could only blink her eyes in befuddlement. “T-that’s… that’s really clever.”

Bulma giggled in response. “A genius like me can do nothing less!”

Android 18 found her in a pinch. This tournament followed similar rules to the former one. The cardinal rule was that contestants could not bring in objects to give them an advantage, in this case, food and drinks. Originally, she had not considered this a hindrance, as the cyborg had smoked her opponents without too much difficulty. Now though, she could see that she would have to try hard just to survive. Fortunately, Lazuli had prepared for something like this and met with Dr. Brief before the tournament. She had secretly asked him to give her enhancements so that she could magnify her burps. He agreed, if only to stop the women in his family from bragging if they won. Android 18 activated the enhancement by squeezing her throat with her right hand, starting up a device inside that worked not unlike an amplifier for music. She took a deep breath and forced out an eructation that possessed equally immense length, loudness, and odor. Bulma had to close her eyes against the belch’s wind, and waved away the gas that assaulted her nose. It lasted for 5 seconds, and afterwards, Android 18 sported a look of satisfaction while Bulma scowled.

“Guess I’ve have a few tricks up my sleeve, too.” Lazuli taunted.

“Hmph. Yeah, but don’t count me out yet.”

With that, they went back and forth for the next twenty minutes with increasingly louder and gassier belches. 18 generally having a better-rounded eructation while Bulma more often than not took the edge in loudness and length. Their daughters and mother in the stands, along with Trunks, looked on with mixtures of pride, disgust, and awe. Their spouses watching the event from home were just confused by it all. In the end though, only one would win.

“*Huff* *Huff* Not bad, 18.” Bulma complimented in an exhausted tone.

“Thanks.” Cyborg 18 replied with a smile, not suffering from fatigue due to her cybernetics.

Then, Bulma smirked. “But, did you really think my old man’s tech could net you the win?”

18’s smile promptly vanished. “H-h-how did…?”

“I’ve always known. When I talked about you to dad, he started sweating nervously. It was almost like he was in an interrogation.” Bulma chuckled. “So, I decided to check the security cameras in the lab where he works on inventions. Then, I found him working on you.”

“If you knew, then why did you drag this out for so long?” The cyborg inquired.

“I just wanted a chance to show off my belching prowess, and this seemed like a good way to do it.” Bulma answered. “But now that this is starting to feel monotonous, I’m going to end this, now.”

Before Number 18 could get her to elaborate, Bulma caught the attention of the announcer and informed her of the enhancements. The artificial human chimed in that as a cyborg, she already possessed implants that were not natural to a normal person, so this should be allowed. After a lengthy debate, it was decided that Jinzōningen 18 was still technically cheating, as she received outside help, from an opponent’s relative no less, without any training on her own. Therefore, she was disqualified from the final match, making Bulma the first winner of the Gassiest Under the Heavens tournament!

Both women greeted their families, one with pride and the other in shame. While Bra and Panchy hugged Bulma and congratulated her on her victory, Lazuli was surprised when Marron gripped her in a compassionate hug. When asked why she wasn’t disappointed by her mother, the younger blonde stated that it made for a good show, regardless. A small smile etched on her face, 18 began to depart with Marron when stopped by Bulma.

“What do you want?” Android 18 asked.

Bulma merely wheeled out a boxed filled with all of the prize money, stunning the two blondes. “You need the money more. After all, I’m rich.”

18 and Marron were left speechless for a moment. Then, Bulma was met with a hug from Marron and a handshake from the cyborg. “Thank you, Bulma.” The artificial human said, smiling. “This means a lot.”

“Don’t mention it.” The heiress replied casually.

Android 18 and Marron soon departed with the cash, joined by Bulma’s and Chi-Chi’s families, for another few years of peace before considering entering the tournament again.