Good grief

Well I am closer to Kurt, whatever that means. I find myself getting confused and upset and I only know to keep working and trusting that God will provide. There is so much I could get irritated about and that is the problem.
My grief is jerking me around like a rag dog. I miss my brother and yet I find myself wondering who I am apart from my brother. No person is an island and yet maybe in the course of getting so caught I missed out on getting to know people that were not worthy of my sympathy.
In days a head I hope I can find things to be thankful for, let's say five to start and by August 18th have a direction to consider and with God's help maybe I will get there. It is somewhere between doing nothing in fear of what I might do wrong and doing something looking forward to blessing.