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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2220815-Why-Television-is-Dangerous
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by Ned Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2220815
Too much TV can be a bad thing. So can too little.
Arnnn pulled on the cord attached to his latest acquisition. The wiring on this antique was a bit primitive, but he was sure to find a way to power it. Both his foreheads were drawn into furrowed scowls as he rubbed his chin. This was a puzzle, indeed. But Longorians loved puzzles almost as much as they loved collecting alien artifacts. Arnnn was enjoying this immensely.

“What junk have you bought this time?” Arlaaa, his mate, sounded annoyed.

Now, when a Longorian female expresses annoyance, her vocal cords vibrate at a very high frequency that is particularly painful to the male’s ear. This is one reason why Longorian marriages usually last for a lifetime. Knowing that his wife possesses the ability to literally make his ears bleed meant that the Longorian male took utmost care to keep her happy.

Arnnn quickly began to explain the history of his prized antique, hoping that Arlaaa would be more intrigued with his narrative than annoyed at his expenditure.

“This box comes from a planet called Earth,” Arnnn told her. “A few eons ago, it was quite fashionable to visit Earth and scare the primitive inhabitants. The Freggia did it all the time and even abducted the occasional Earth being. But they didn’t make good pets, so eventually, they gave up going there altogether. However, one of them nabbed this entertainment device and I got it for cheap at the Bithion Jumble Sale. I couldn’t resist. And now, I am just about to power it up. Watch!”

When they found Arnnn’s body, he was face down in a pool of blood. His ears were caked with dried remnants of the crimson flow.

Peace Officer TuttTutt shook his head sadly. “What happened?” he asked his partner.

“The TV was broken”, P.O. TskTsk replied.


Word Count: 299 words
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