Unfortunate Lover

I was dreaming. I knew I was because you were there. You met me at a park, a school, or something along those lines. You hugged me. I could feel your worth. I could feel your heartbeat. I could smell your Cologne (your old one. the one you used when you were mine). I pulled away my eyes were full of tears. I wanted you to hold me forever in that moment, but i had to know how? How were you here. How could this be? I asked, "how? how are you here John? Am I dreaming?" You just stared at me silent. You gave me a look as if i wasn't supposed to have asked that. Your baby blue stare had me feeling you you were looking right threw me. Like you were trying to pick my brain for something and I didn't know what. I didn't now why you didn't want me to ask. Six months ago you shot yourself (or so i thought). You