Gym Dandy

          Gym Dandy


As I worked out in a gym in Toledo;
As I worked out in Toledo one day.
I spied a young man who was dressed up in spandex,
all dressed in bright spandex with colors so gay.

I see by his Fitbit that he is a hard boy;
he works in the weights, his body to build.
Counting up reps to the beat of an iPhone,
with sweat-beaded brow and a bottle that’s chilled.

So dip the delts slowly and thrust the squats lowly;
pumping up iron as your muscles they swell.
Protein shake mornings and carbo-load dinners
fuel nautilus sets and the free weight dumbbell.

I paused to admire this arrogant charmer,
with lean muscle mass and the buns made of steel.
Crunching up numbers of planks for his core strength,
sculpting out abs with a burn he can feel.

He's no time for coeds who swoon over biceps
nor yoga class ladies who gaze at his cheeks.
Not even a glance as the women pass by him,
the view in the mirror’s the one that he seeks.

So dip the delts slowly and thrust the squats lowly;
pumping up iron as your muscles they swell.
Protein shake mornings and carbo-load dinners
fuel nautilus sets and the free weight dumbbell.


         Terrence G. Fisher 2020


Author's note ▼

Why do these things pop into my head? All I can say is I hope it brings you a smile.

If the rhythm and rhyme sound familiar, it's because you're old enough to remember the traditional folk song Streets of Laredo.

Hear the Marty Robbins version: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e4JiXtZ16KQ