Farewell Friends

Farewell Friends
WC 200

Dear Family,

It is with a heavy heart that I have to give you my official thirty-day notice of resignation. My last day in your employment will be February 29, 2020.

Since you don’t see fit to clean me ever, I feel it is time to move on. When I first moved in, you used me all the time. I felt needed. I felt wanted. You made feel a part of the family. You baked wonderful foods in me. I loved the chicken, the roast beef, the potato casseroles, the pies, the cookies, the brownies, oh how I could go on. But as the years went on, you forgot about me. The grease and crumbs and food built up until I can hardly breathe anymore.

The final straw came last week. You chose to use the microwave/convection oven instead of me. That shiny, brand new microwave contraption now takes preference over me. Well, family, you have fun with that thing. And when you all come down with radiation poisoning, don’t come running back to me. Because I won’t be working anymore, remember? I’m all crusted over with dirt and grime and I am resigning.

Respectfully submitted,

The Oven