Reaching Out

Why should I chase after the blue sky, if I’ll never catch it?
Why run from the storm clouds, when they always follow me?

Constantly, they hover above me
Threatening downpour.
Their dark grey figures block sunlight
Covering me in darkness.

I can see the blue
Though it is always just out of my reach.
But it never seems that way.
It always seems
                                       A mile
                             A yard
                   A foot
         An inch
A breath away
But then I reach
         And reach
                   And reach
                             And reach
And never seem to touch the blue
I flail, limbs waving wildly
Fingers grasping at nothing but storm clouds.

Then I am no longer reaching for blue sky
But for the surface of the water
For now, I am drowning.

I look up
Frantic to find a way out.
My eyes are wild
And I can see them.
I can see myself
Drowning
Flailing
Reaching
I can see myself writhing in the water
But I do not reach out to help.

I am fascinated by the way my eyes bulge
The way my feet pump relentlessly
The way my body contorts as my lungs fill with water.
And I am back under the water
Begging myself to help
         Hoping
         Praying
         Needing
Myself to help.

But the reflection of myself above the water’s surface does not save me from my misery.
Instead, she looks up at the sky above her
At the threatening storm clouds
And decides to chase the blue sky just out of her reach.